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Why are you suppose to remember their childs age or bday?
wtf is that my responsibility?
Anyone been through something like this?
My ex-fiance's kids are 17 and 14. I still remember both their birthdays.
Their father was important to me at one time, they were important to him, and therefore they were important to me. I miss them more than I miss him these days.
I would agree that if you're just casually dating and aren't involved with his kids then there wouldn't be a "requirement" to remember their birthdays, but if you're considering a long term relationship with a guy, I'd say you damn well better remember.
My ex-fiance's kids are 17 and 14. I still remember both their birthdays.
Their father was important to me at one time, they were important to him, and therefore they were important to me. I miss them more than I miss him these days.
I would agree that if you're just casually dating and aren't involved with his kids then there wouldn't be a "requirement" to remember their birthdays, but if you're considering a long term relationship with a guy, I'd say you damn well better remember.
Anyone who decides to date someone with kids needs to understand going in that it's a package deal and you will always come second to the person's kid(s). If you have a gala dinner to attend for work and the person's kid has a ballet recital, you'll be going stag to the gala. Get used to it.
To get involved with someone with kids-- if you don't like kids-- is setting yourself up for all kinds of resentments: you'll resent the parent going to weekend activities that their kid is participating in and the parent will resent your lack of interest in their kid. Their kid is probably the center of their universe and you are walling yourself off from that huge part of their life. I can't see that working out very well.
Add to that the potential for drama with the kid's mother and so on and it makes for a pretty bad situation. If you really and truly don't care about his kid and never will, you're probably best off to get out now.
One would think that you'd want to be close enough in a relationship for someone to want you to be a part of his family. It's not about you all the time, sometimes it has to be about the other person - whether it be a child or something else which is important. This goes both ways. But for myself, I would be happy that I was even introduced to his children - a lot of people do not include you in family if you are just being a casual person in thier life and for that I would make a point of remembering.
I agree with the kids being part of the "package deal."
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