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I disagree. Good is subjective. The guy you may have passed up for not being good enough may settle with the next girl he meets, who thinks he's not only good but great.
I think the better question is - why do men and women have these sometimes unrealistic checklists on what's good for them? Not only have you completely narrowed your playing field, but how do you know if what's good for you today will be good for you 10 or 20 years from now?
this is a good point....it seems that although "good" is a totally subjective judgment many people (specifically women in this particular thread) seem to expect a man to be perfect..not just good...
one would think that being considerate or kind is a quality worth weighing..but the fact that those "nice guys" arent sex hounds precludes them from being "good"..so to speak.
Like wise, emotionally abusive men who DO have the confidence and insatiable sex drives women love are still deemed less than "good".
Women here seem to be looking for perfection in the form of balance. That doesnt really exist. I think most men and many married women have figured this out, and they fully understand the art of compromise...
With all people, there is usually a gap between what people say they are and who they really are.
No kidding!
It just came up that Ron, the good guy that women are missing, is actually not interested in marriage.
Rule one? Don't just fling yourself into a relationship. Don't have sex on the second date. Or third. Or fifth. Because then you're forming an emotional attachment to somebody before you really decide if this person is right for you. Women tend to fall pray to this more often than guys.
You are not going to be popular with many guys who would most probably walk away or build resentments if a woman does not go for sex after a certain number of dates. Even if they actually like the woman, their fragile ego would not allow such an "offense".
Rule two? Watch how that person treats ordinary people, such as the cashier at the grocery store, the waiter at the restaurant, or the counter help at the dry cleaners. Because, in another six months, that's how that guy will be treating you.
This could not ring more true, you hit the nail right on the head!
Heed this piece of advice, sisters! You won't be "special" to him forever.
The same warning works for you, guys.
Rule three? If this guy blames himself for the problems he's had in life, he will do fine. If he blames everybody else, from his parents to his ninth-grade algebra teacher to past co-workers, then he'll be blaming you for the next big screwup in his life.
Ron, are you serious??
Good men are all taken already… what is left? Mentally disturbed, sex maniacs, egocentrics, hypochondriacs, old bachelors with bad habits, widows still grieving, parasites, guys who want a wife like their mother, rotten spoiled brats and losers.
Feel free do add some more…
lol! So true, I also want to add men with kids, and men who dont now wtf they want in life or a relationship!
Stop with this nonsense of waiting on a man to approach you. It makes no sense whatsoever.
If you want a new job, what do you do? You look for it.
When you want to try a new restaurant, what do you do? You look for one.
When you're in need of a nice pair of shoes, what do you do? You look for them.
When you're looking for travel deals, what do you do? You get online and look for them.
But when it comes to having a good man in your life, you wait until he appears and approaches you. Does that make sense? If you want a good man in your life do what you've been doing with everything else.......go looking.
Don't give me that crap about not wanting to appear desperate. If you lost your job, would you say, " I'm' not going to look for a new one because I do not want to appear desperate? " of course not.
Lord knows you better not say "oh, I'm just to old fashioned to do that "...........YEAH RIGHT! Your grandmother may have been old fashioned BUT YOU ARE NOT. I don't care how good it sounds coming out of you mouth.
Stop with the nonsense and go look for a man and approach a guy you think fits what you're looking for.
Many of you women that WANT to be in a relationship are single because you're waiting on him and not looking for and approaching him.
I'm finished with my rant for tonight.
When you look you either find drama, or more drama. Live your life and have fun. To sit and stress about not getting any weenie is pointless. That's what booty calls are for..ha ha..
Seriously, some women are old fashioned and some women just don't give a s---! I figure that's what Online Dating sites are for...
Yeah, our good thread on where you draw the line has become CD history. I thought we had some good tips going for some of these young guys who don't believe women know a few fun things to share.
Sometime the conversation evolves into a hard R and us very open minded people don't realize it.
Normal is different for different people.
True that! No more talks about male g-spots!
Sex is such an important part of the relationship....I believe in the Holy Trinity in a relationship: Mind (the intellectual aspect), Soul (the hearts and feelings), and Sex.
A great relationship can't lack any of the 3. All three of them are require to building true intimacy and the ability to communicate openly about all kinds of topics in sex because that leads to the erasing of judgments of yourself and others. And not being open about it only leads to repression, misconception, fears...etc.
But I didn't get a chance to thank you open-minded ones who responded to my posts positively so that I didn't feel like the only freak! hahaha
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans
If a woman rants and raves about there being "no good men left", then the chances are that she is a good for nothing worthless woman herself. I don't give those type of women a second look, cos they aren't worth it at all.
Agreed.
"We don't see things as they are,
We see them as we are."
I'd love to go look for one, but before I do that I have to figure out a few things.
A fair share (about 25%) of guys I've dated have turned out to be extremely emotionally abusive and controlling. It seems to me that a larger percentage of these kinds of guys would still be single, rather than married, so that means I need better "radar" to spot these jerks before going out with them in the first place.
The sweetest, nicest guys I've dated have almost all had a serious lack of interest in sex for some reason. Sex was never really discussed at the beginning of the relationship, it was only when we actually got around to "doing it" that I realized we were incompatible. It would be nice to be able to tell whether a guy has a healthy libido before wasting time on a few months of dating.
Guys who seem to be "my type" generally don't like to be "chased" or "pursued". They want to be the ones doing the asking out, and making all the moves.
Right now I'm trying to get over the apparent loss of a friendship with a guy who I think is actually the "emotionally abusive" type I mentioned. After a three year relationship/friendship I'm dealing with the "silent treatment" which someone discussed in another thread. I don't think there's a valid reason for his sudden disappearance from my life, but I tend to blame myself anyway. I can't go out and be emotionally available for a new relationship if I'm trying to heal from a previous one, even if it was "just" a friendship and not a romantic relationship. The realization that he may be emotionally abusive doesn't seem to help get over this any faster.
I can't keep putting myself in situations that end up hurting me so bad.
So for now, I'll just wait to go "looking"
1. Libido. You should be able to tell this on the first date or so. Is there chemistry, a bit of spark. I had MANY dates that had no spark but two since returning to dating that had plenty of spark. Within a week or two things had boiled over nicely.
2. If a *friend* is going to pull that, don't be sad. Be happy that you are figuring some things out and are no longer wasting your time. Don't mope, go out and have some fun and be open to possibilities.
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I had MANY dates that had no spark but two since returning to dating that had plenty of spark. Within a week or two things had boiled over nicely.
