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He: If you're not busy Friday night how's about dinner?
She: I'm not busy this Friday. I'd love dinner! But WAIT...there is something you do not know about me...I am a mother of one.
He: Oh, then...never mind. <Click>
I can understand a single mom or dad's hesitation to announce they have a kid(s), but don't you think both parties would be better off knowing from the get go? Why waste each other's time if you're not on the same page or even the same chapter?
Last edited by TheImportersWife; 01-23-2010 at 02:39 PM..
He: If you're not busy Friday night how's about dinner?
She: I'm not busy this Friday. I'd love dinner! But WAIT...there is something you do not know about me...I am a mother of one.
He: Oh, then...never mind. <Click>
This is a very unrealistic scenario. Most moomies cannot carry on a conversation for more than five minutes without talking about their child/children. Most of them are incapable of talking about anything else.
It would be extremely unlikely that she could "keep it" from him.
I think you have every right to not want to be with a women with kids and she has every right to not want to date a guy who will be accepting of the fact that she has kids.
Since this is such a major dealbreaker - why didn't you iron this out before you went over?
If the OP feels so strongly about not wanting to be around kids, theres only one reason i can think of as to why he would want to go round to the gals house (and it aint to play Tidliwinks) .
These women made a decision to be single mothers, barring widowhood and the man initiating a divorce (which only happens about 30% of time time).
We should respect their decisions and let them remain single.
To the men, if you are ever introduced to a single mother and later are asked, "doesn't she deserve a good husband (hint, hint)?" say "no," and walk away.
Similarly, if asked: "doesn't that little child need a father?" comment, "she/he already has one, the biological one," and walk away.
It's ok to date single mothers but NEVER meet the kid. Be clear that you are neither going to be daddy nor husband.
These women made a decision to be single mothers, barring widowhood and the man initiating a divorce (which only happens about 30% of time time).
We should respect their decisions and let them remain single.
Bit of a chauvinistic view don't you think?
Ok, so let's say a woman ends up marrying an abusive (whether mentally or physically) man and decides to divorce him, she should forever be banished to life of being single? Same could be asked in the case of infidelity (the husband, not the wife)?
And should the single men with children, regardless of whether it was out of wedlock or who initiated the divorce, remain single as well?
What if she's single with children and divorced? Does that change things for you?
A "divorced mom" is different than a "single mom". Also, a single child is different than having multiple children. When people are married, its usually a joint decision to have children. Its almost never a "well Im pregnant and Im going to have your baby". When folks are married, its cause for celebration on everyones part. Its a wonderful occasion where family, friends, etc. all say how wonderful it is. If the woman is single (i.e., not married to the father), usually the father isnt thrilled about he child, nor are her family or friends.
If she's divorced, this usually means the child actually has HIS/HER biological father playing an active role (which is great) and 9 times out of 10 will have them 3-4 days of the week, thus allowing the mom (and potential dates) the flexibility to do whatever, wherever during that time.
A "divorced mom" is different than a "single mom". Also, a single child is different than having multiple children. When people are married, its usually a joint decision to have children. Its almost never a "well Im pregnant and Im going to have your baby". When folks are married, its cause for celebration on everyones part. Its a wonderful occasion where family, friends, etc. all say how wonderful it is. If the woman is single (i.e., not married to the father), usually the father isnt thrilled about he child, nor are her family or friends.
If she's divorced, this usually means the child actually has HIS/HER biological father playing an active role (which is great) and 9 times out of 10 will have them 3-4 days of the week, thus allowing the mom (and potential dates) the flexibility to do whatever, wherever during that time.
And we all lived happily ever after in our sugar coated castle with gumdrop shrubs.
Wow. Some of the posts on here are either from very ignorant men or very immature men.
Every man has a right to not date women with kids. When you meet a woman, if she doesn't volunteer the info, ask her. It's that simple. Then just let her know you prefer not to date someone with children. If she's mature, she'll thank you for your honesty. I know I would.
I would not want to date a man that feels that way, since I have two little ones still home. I tell men right off the bat that I have children. It's then their prerogative to either stay or go. No hard feelings if they go.
I do have to say to the OP though...you've obviously talked to her before going to her house. Did you not know she had a child? Since you're one of those that feel so strongly about the situation, you need to ask first thing.
I think you were hoping for a booty call, and she tested you. (Which, btw, some of the men on here would've condemned HER for later had she had the one night stand and ended up pregnant!)
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