Why all the hate for men cheating, but not for women?

[JustJulia]

It would have been interesting to get the OP's perspective in one of the Tiger Woods threads. There were several posts in them about how his wife was, at best, too caught up in mommy life to tend to her man or, at worst, a frigid golddigger.

[Sonic_Spork]

I don't think it's fair that women give one another license to do bad things, and assume the guy is the villain, among one another when we talk. I do always try and flip the coin and be fair. Women and men both cheat, usually for different reasons, and some might hide it better than others, but it is what it is.

I've talked plenty about being in my own unhappy marriage, but I haven't stepped out on him. Other women in his past however, have, and he expects it of women. I, on the other hand, know that HE is the common denominator in these situations, and I know darn well WHY it happened. Best way to explain is to answer these:

Originally Posted by Ladywithafan

Personally, there are two sides to every story; they might not be equal but if you really understand "why people cheat" it, #1 falls on the cheater for not being able to say hey, I'm not happy, lets break up and then the person who got cheated on needs to realize it might not be all about them but the situation just was not right in the long run.

Originally Posted by CESpeed

I think whoever cheats is wrong because it's just too easy to tell your SO "this isn't working for me." I ofter defend men for cheating because I realize that while the cheating was wrong, most of the time, he has been abandoned sexually. And no man I know of whose soldier still salutes will live that way.

Originally Posted by smel

Cheating is wrong no matter who does it. To me there is no excuse. If you are not happy, get out, don't cheat. I think only selfish people cheat, because they want it both ways. They want to keep their relationship plus try out something new. Then, they still have their relationship to go home to. I do think a lot of people should not be suprised when they get cheated on. Many people marry someone knowing they have a history of cheating, and then they are so hurt and suprised when it happens to them. What did they think would happen? Women and men who cheat deserve to be alone.

And anyone who says "just break up first" in general.

OK, so I go to my husband and I tell him, "I am not happy. I no longer want to be in this relationship." He says, "I cannot live without you. Let's fix this." I say, "No, seriously, I never actually wanted to be married, I've locked my true self in a steel box in order to take care of the kids, and you, for half my life, and the time is coming where I need to get out. There is nothing to fix. You can't change yourself to be the person I need. I want freedom to live my life. I'm done." He says, "You can't go. I can't live without you. I will end my life."

My husband is totally like that, he fastens his whole reality to the woman he's with. That kind of loyalty and dedication is admirable, but if your partner is DONE and you just WON'T HEAR IT and you attempt to hold them hostage with your own life, you really shouldn't be so surprised when things disintigrate into cheating, lying, or other kinds of betrayal at some point. If someone tells you they are done, you should probably figure out how to get on without them. If that is going to take you some time, then ask for that time. But don't put your hands over your ears and go "LALALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING TO THIS."

He is not the first person I've met who has been this way, and it's not always the guy. Sometimes one partner wants to get away and the other one doesn't want to let go and it leads to this sort of thing, I'm just saying.