Why all the hate for men cheating, but not for women? (wife, girlfriend)
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I decided to start this thread because I had noticed for a while now that men get absolutely reamed and bashed for cheating, but when a women cheats, there is more sympathy for the women, and in some cases blame for the man being cheated on for not being there "emotionally" for his girlfriend/wife or not fulfilling the traditional duties as a "man" in that specific relationship. I especially noticed this topic in full swing when I read he thread in hear and on other forums about the John Edwards affair. He is being ripped to shreds, and rightfully so, but I've heard just as many stories involving women cheating, some of them doing so in the same disgusting manner that John Edwards did, but there is no vitriol or venom aimed towards women.
I wonder why that is? Do women get a pass because of the emotional factor, or is it because it is more popular to hate on men whenever one screws up? Oddly enough, I've noticed just as many men hating on other men for cheating, but not really going after women for the same thing? Are men also following this trend more and more because they find it disgusting, or is it for other reasons?
I decided to start this thread because I had noticed for a while now that men get absolutely reamed and bashed for cheating, but when a women cheats, there is more sympathy for the women, and in some cases blame for the man being cheated on for not being there "emotionally" for his girlfriend/wife or not fulfilling the traditional duties as a "man" in that specific relationship. I especially noticed this topic in full swing when I read he thread in hear and on other forums about the John Edwards affair. He is being ripped to shreds, and rightfully so, but I've heard just as many stories involving women cheating, some of them doing so in the same disgusting manner that John Edwards did, but there is no vitriol or venom aimed towards women.
I wonder why that is? Do women get a pass because of the emotional factor, or is it because it is more popular to hate on men whenever one screws up? Oddly enough, I've noticed just as many men hating on other men for cheating, but not really going after women for the same thing? Are men also following this trend more and more because they find it disgusting, or is it for other reasons?
I haven't noticed so much "hate" as pure disgust. And I think people think even LESS of John Edwards for his lying and denying and trying to cover it up probably more than the just the fact that he's a sleazy cheat. Fact is, cheating is so common these days that most people just yawn and blow it off. Unless it's something like this that just keeps getting bigger and bigger every day.
I think most people are just as disgusted with women who cheat but I also think you hear more about men on these forums than you do women. If women politicians cheated as much as the men do we'd be just as disgusted and judgemental. Do female politicians not cheat? Can't think of one I've heard of. I was surprised when the governor of New York, and his wife, admitted publicly that they had both cheated. Guess they wanted it out there so nobody could 'blackmail' them later or something. He's still governor and she's still his wife but people really didn't bat an eye over that very much.
I think that, now days, the people that cheating bothers the most is the one that's been cheated on. If they come here and say something they will get sympathy and the cheater will get bashed. If guys want to post more about the women in their life cheating on them, we'll bash those women too.
Personally, there are two sides to every story; they might not be equal but if you really understand "why people cheat" it, #1 falls on the cheater for not being able to say hey, I'm not happy, lets break up and then the person who got cheated on needs to realize it might not be all about them but the situation just was not right in the long run.
While I've spoken my piece on cheating elsewhere in these forums, this particular aspect of it does merit some attention.
The simple answer: Men do it because we're selfish pigs, women do it because they're not getting what they need and deserve at home.
Seriously, OP, did you NOT get the memo?
Jokes aside, sixty years ago shame was doled out pretty much equally, and women caught the same flak for "not doing what they needed to at home" which men catch today.
The difference is Feminism.
Now, before someone jumps onto the erroneous conclusion that I'm somehow suggesting Feminism has made cheaters of women or has vilified men, let me correct you:
The difference the last sixty years has made via social changes in our country and in the West in general is that it's rendered a lot of justification. Men are the pigs we always were; women are doing the same crap they always did too, just now it's mens' fault they're doing it. So ha -- you're only half correct!
That and, to put it bluntly, I think when it comes to getting away with stuff, women are just smarter than men. Read that any way you wish, I honestly don't care.
Penis or vagina, a cheater is a cheater. I don't automatically condemn them (because no one really knows the back story and we are all human), but I don't give either one more leeway than the other.
Why all the hate for men cheating, but not for women?
This is the norm for the mainstream media, where women are nearly always characterized as victims and for sites where women predominate.
No matter what the facts are, they can always be twisted around to somehow blame the man.
Men are fighting back on their sites. They point out, quite correctly, that while a man gets hated for cheating AND hammered financially, a women typically gets a fat divorce settlement, has the choice whether she wants to keep the children and is then able to support the man she found so exciting that she broke her marriage vows to get him.
I don't see one as any more acceptable than the other. I seek exclusive relationships.
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