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Preach on, Ron. I mean, some of the posters on here must just be willfully clueless or habitual trolls, because nobody would be this deficient in social skills.
Let's just run down the major categories:
1) Why can't I get more than two dates with somebody? Because you are uninteresting to the other party. The solutions are a) Stop talking about yourself and start talking about the other person, or b) Work at making yourself more attractive.
2) I'm Fat/Wear Unfashionable Clothes/Live With My Mother/Missing Teeth, so why are people too shallow to overlook that? Hey, you're supposed to be an adult. If you can't respect yourself enough to take care of yourself, that's your problem, not the other person's. Unless you're dating a modern day Helen Keller or Ray Charles, there's got to be some physical attraction for it to work. No, you don't have to look like Jennifer Anniston or George Clooney. But, c'mon, get off your ass and act like you care. Quit dressing like a slob and look like you get more exercise than waddling back and forth to your television during the commercial breaks.
3) I have this convoluted relationship problem with a friend/family member/co-worker/love interest. Chances are about 99.9% that you're both to blame. Be an adult and find middle ground. And if you're always having these problems with a person on a continuing basis, get out of the relationship or at least take a break from it and gain perspective. Because as it stands, it's waaaay too much work.
4) I keep dating losers who really treat me like dirt. This is easy. Stop dating losers. And quit allowing yourself to be treated like dirt. And, women, one nanosecond after a man hits you, walk out the door and never go back. Anything less is an open invitation for him to do it again.
5) I have this theory about men/women/dating/divorce.... Hoo boy. Another silly-assed mechanistic, simplistic view of the highly-subtle, highly-varied world of interpersonal relationships. Ever noticed that the people who spin out these theories are the same people who are alone on Saturday nights?
6) My love interest looked at me funny/said something strange on the telephone/couldn't explain why it took him 30 extra minutes at the grocery store. Has it ever occurred to you that your incredibly painstaking dissection of everything he or she does and says will be the very thing that drives them away?
7) Help me understand what happened on our last date. Let's see. You're asking a bunch of strangers on an internet forum to read an account that's highly slanted to your point of view and come up with explanations that will be sympathetic to you. Now that's going to work.
8) Here are my list of criteria for a significant other. Why are they so hard to find? Let's see. You want him to be rich, handsome, strong, hung like a donkey, well-read, good with children, a collector of art, a lover of opera, be able to overhaul a diesel engine using only cotton swabs and toothpicks, deeply sensitive and manly--yet love you for just the way you are. Anything wrong with this picture?
9) Why Do All Men/Women Do/Think This? Great. You put everybody in a gender into the same box, and then can't understand why they find you so unappealing.
10) I like this guy/gal, but I hate his/her friends/family. Get over it. Those people helped make that person who he/she is. If you can't tolerate them, then keep moving.
11) I like everything about this person, but he/she won't look for a job/do their share around the house/exercise good manners. Actually, identify the flaw that won't go away in a person and you'll find that person's central characteristic. If they're a slob, they'll always be a slob. If they're self-centered, they'll always be self-centered. If they're rude, they'll always be rude. Hate to break it to you.
12) I'm trying to analyze this relationship. That's the problem. You're using your brain when it comes to matters of the heart. Listen to your heart. It's 100 times smarter than your brain.
Dang CPG. Can we make this a sticky??
Or at least give it the relationship forum post of the month award.
LOL...I agree with most everything you've said, except #12. I think it's just smart to think with your head rather than your heart but I think over analyzing anything is a pure waste of time and energy.
If people don't want to read this stuff they don't have to.
You're probably right. But some people just parse the hell out of everything.
And I read this stuff for sheer entertainment value.
Well, Sierra, think of me as a worthy example to be emulated by those seeking the true path to inner contentment and peace. Perhaps they should erect a statute in my honor for all the lives I've blessed with sage advice. Angels weep at the wisdom I dispense. Dear Abby looks up from her word processor and says, "If that guy gets a newspaper column, I'll be living out of a Westinghouse carton in six months."
Sorry, cpg, I'd commit harakiri before I wish to emulate you, regardless of how you perceive yourself!
Sorry, cpg, I'd commit harakiri before I wish to emulate you, regardless of how you perceive yourself!
Oh, don't do that. I love you too much. The world would be a much poorer place without you in it. And my intrinsic, unattainable fabulousness has driven many a woman to despair, knowing that they have seen a vision of all that could be, only to know that it's not theirs to have.
And my intrinsic, unattainable fabulousness has driven many a woman to despair, knowing that they have seen a vision of all that could be, only to know that it's not theirs to have.
I know! Sticking things up in the Relationship thread is like putting stuff up in the attic. This thread was just beginning to get fun. Sierra was rolling her eyes and I was being pompous for the fun of it.
Pull out all the naive posts from the forum and your not left with much.
That's the purpose of wisdom, to share, otherwise it's useless.
Yeah, if everything was as simple as CPG makes it seem, we might as well close the relationships forum and all head over to politics
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