Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
prob true. the people that write one small paragraph can be ignoredif someone has a really good and detailed profile it normally means they are paying. after awhile you get the hang of who to msg and whos a waste of time
My intelligence is below average. I'd fear I'd be emailing Honduran bots all day.
I just read reviews on Match.com that said that 90% of people aren't paid members and you spend all your money and time flirting with people that can't respond back. Truth?
i don't know about 90%, but that is the long and short of it.
throw in endless pitches and ads, a monthly fee, an equally good free competitor (POF), a far superior free competitor (OKC), and it just isn't clear what type of man subjects himself to this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ep-
prob true. the people that write one small paragraph can be ignoredif someone has a really good and detailed profile it normally means they are paying. after awhile you get the hang of who to msg and whos a waste of time
There's more to a site than just its features. New members are constantly joining. A month is not enough time to see enough potential matches. In 6 months time, a lot more people might join, some of whom might fit your criteria. But if you only wait a month, you'd miss out. That would be like going to a bar trying to meet someone and only waiting 10 minutes.
As opposed to people who pay a cover charge to get into an exclusive club all in the hopes of finding someone to hookup with.
What you're paying for with match and eharmony is the ability to see and contact people who you might not normally meet. Dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better your odds of meeting someone you'd wanna date. You, like everyone else who badmouths online dating, just assumes those people are desperate. I guess it never occurred to you that maybe they weren't satisfied with the quality of people they were meeting at work, the gym, church, etc. I see nothing desperate in wanting to expand one's options and the fact that they're willing to pay $20 for a service just tells me they're more serious about meeting someone than the average barfly. $20 is not a lot. I spend that if I go out to lunch two times a week. Giving up two lunches seems like a small price to pay if it means meeting a lot more people, especially if there was no chance of meeting them through my everyday life.
Over the years i've met some real nice gals at the American legion, VFW, DAV. Many fantastic Ladies have served in the military at different times during their lives.
I just read reviews on Match.com that said that 90% of people aren't paid members and you spend all your money and time flirting with people that can't respond back. Truth?
I would love to know where they got that 90% figure. I doubt Match.com releases those stats so I wonder how any user would be able come with that number. A lot of people do sign up as free members and wait til they want to talk to someone before agreeing to pay. You can usually tell who the people are that aren't serious. They write really short, vague profiles and don't put up pictures. But if you find a profile where the author has obviously a lot of time and effort into writing it, then you it's safe to assume that person is either a paying member or willing to pay should they find someone that they'd like to talk to.
true. it does filter out those who cannot afford the fee, among others.
but consider that it also leaves you with the most desperate losers - those men who are willing to pay for the opportunity to send text messages to women.
I just read reviews on Match.com that said that 90% of people aren't paid members and you spend all your money and time flirting with people that can't respond back. Truth?
J, all I can say is that I have many years experience with Match, and I've never done that. For one thing, I don't "flirt" online. How would I know if I want to flirt with someone before I even meet them! Those people that do this, are the true dorks and wackos of the online dating world. Don't be one of those...okay? Just DON'T.
my point isn't so cryptic that it warrants a "WTH are you talking about".
you seem upset because i said unflattering things about the men on the site you use.
compared to a bar scene, a church, or a social circle, online dating is rife with disadvantages for men in the first place, even when it is cost-free. so you already have a threshold of desperation that a man has to meet before he even considers it as an option, and then another threshold must be crossed for him to actually go through with it. then, trials notwithstanding, a man has to be extra desperate to pay for match.com, and damn near suicide to pay for eharmony.com. if they charged a monthly fee for facebook or city-data, and people actually paid, i'd call them equally desperate for social interaction. Using y'all's logic these people would just be "really serious about socializing."
Someone mentioned earlier that I was wrong, because men will pay a high cover charge to get into a dance club to meet women -- same deal, I say. You're still talking about a disproportionately pathetic cohort of men.
my point isn't so cryptic that it warrants a "WTH are you talking about".
you seem upset because i said unflattering things about the men on the site you use.
compared to a bar scene, a church, or a social circle, online dating is rife with disadvantages for men in the first place, even when it is cost-free. so you already have a threshold of desperation that a man has to meet before he even considers it as an option, and then another threshold must be crossed for him to actually go through with it. then, trials notwithstanding, a man has to be extra desperate to pay for match.com, and damn near suicide to pay for eharmony.com. if they charged a monthly fee for facebook or city-data, and people actually paid, i'd call them equally desperate for social interaction. Using y'all's logic these people would just be "really serious about socializing."
Someone mentioned earlier that I was wrong, because men will pay a high cover charge to get into a dance club to meet women -- same deal, I say. You're still talking about a disproportionately pathetic cohort of men.
Dude, desperation is a way of looking at it, but it's not truth. I've been using match for about a year now, and I use it because I have no interest in dating a woman I work with, and I don't go to bars to hit on women and I doubt I would find one looking for anything more than a one time hookup. Not to mention she's drunk when she meets me. I'm still single after using it for a year, but boy have I learned a TON about myself and what I'm looking for. I'm also glad that I've walked away from women I knew weren't right for me who wanted to go further and I'm happy to not be trapped in a relationship that I'm not emotionally invested in. Nothing is worse than committing to something you're not committed to. I don't NEED a relationshp, what I'm looking for is something more than just being with someone/anyone, I'm opening windows for a chance to meet the right one.
The internet may be the best invention in the entire history of the world, we're talking true MASS COMMUNICATION and sharing of information. Using the internet to meet potential women who fit what you're interests are or share your same desires is not desperation, it's smart and precise.
Success shouldn't be based on meeting someone and they were creep on the first date so you consider it a failure. A failure to me is meeting someone, dating them, marrying them, and realizing later they were wrong for me because initial physical attraction clouded my reasoning and now I'm divorced. Success is meeting someone, realizing you like them, and then continuing the dating process. Success is also weeding out the weirdos and being smart enough to recognize and walk away from the losers and weirdos.
That's why as a man in online dating, my one and only goal in the emailing and first date process is to not be weird. I don't try to impress, I just keep it light and funny, see if there's some chemistry, and most decent girls have responded very positively to it and they are RELIEVED to find I'm not a weirdo creepy-dude, and they tell me stories and we laugh about the ones that are.
Your idea of desperation in this realm is so far off-base.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
