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Years ago I read a book called "The Road Less Traveled" I believe the author was M. Scott Peck (I might be wrong about the author maybe its Scott M. Peck). In his book he explains that after the "honeymoon" and effervesence fades alot of people say they are out of love with their spouse. In reality if you have a true bond the physical part is important but not at the same level. The importance is companionship, friendship, respect and love.
When I met my husband he was a 30" waist line and had an awesome body. He worked out and did weights and just looked HOT.
He now has a 38" waistline and a belly from my cooking he complains but loves it. Would I change him for someone that looks better?? No, he is my friend, companion, and my lover. Everyday I love him more for the things we manage to accomplish together. Are there things that I dont agree with him about?? Ofcourse but it doesnt make me fall out of love with him. When we are having intimacy do I close my eyes and wish it was someone else with the 30" waistline? No, because I love every little bit of him.
Last edited by Pixie Dust; 06-05-2007 at 12:40 PM..
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixie Dust
I would agree with AsymptoticFaery.
Years ago I read a book called "The Road Less Traveled" I believe the author was M. Scott Peck (I might be wrong about the author maybe its Scott M. Peck). In his book he explains that after the "honeymoon" and effervesence faids alot of people say they are out of love with their spouse. In reality if you have a true bond the physical part is important but not at the same level. The importance is companionship, friendship, respect and love.
When I met my husband he was a 30" waist line and had an awesome body. He worked out and did weights and just looked HOT.
He now has a 38" waistline and a belly from my cooking he complains but loves it. Would I change him for someone that looks better?? No, he is my friend, companion, and my lover. Everyday I love him more for the things we manage to accomplish together. Are there things that I dont agree with him about?? Ofcourse but it doesnt make me fall out of love with him. When we are having intimacy do I close my eyes and wish it was someone else with the 30" waistline? No, because I love every little bit of him.
Oh Pixie.. A Peck is a Peck.
You should have spoken up sooner about your cooking! My ex was a 32" when we met and he's still a 32". I would even venture to say he sometimes went to a 30". He even fit in some of my "old", good old days jeans (even if they were a little short. He would cut them and make long shorts! ).
But then again, I don't know how to cook so it was all up to him if he wanted to eat anything "decent".
One thing I can tell you for sure.... Any relationship of mine is not "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"!
You should have spoken up sooner about your cooking! My ex was a 32" when we met and he's still a 32". I would even venture to say he sometimes went to a 30". He even fit in some of my "old", good old days jeans (even if they were a little short. He would cut them and make long shorts! ).
But then again, I don't know how to cook so it was all up to him if he wanted to eat anything "decent".
One thing I can tell you for sure.... Any relationship of mine is not "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"!
Very cute, I loved the "a Peck is a Peck" thingie.
As for the cooking I actually learned by buying cookbooks at first and calling grandma to verify things. My long distance was astronomical ( I lived in Ill. and she lived in Miami) but she always knew what needed to be added and how much time the pressure cooker needed to whistle for what type of meats, beans, etc. Boy I miss her!!
Ditto to everyone's comments about how a good marriage can deepen one's love for one another. The bond goes beyond looks.
With age, the metabolism changes, health issues may develop, children require a lot of time and attention so it's easy to let go. Personally, I've always felt an obligation to my spouse and my child to stay healthy (i.e., look and feel good). No, I don't have the body I had when we got married neither does my husband, but we both strive to take care of our physical appearance....not by pointing out the bulge, but by encouraging one another to eat well and get exercise. It's a way of striving for a balanced life and keeping the spark alive.
omg...lol....look, i could say alot but i will just say this, regardless of what years does to your lover over the years you should love them regardless..look. what if the body is ugly but the sex itself is off the charts then what you do and would looks of the body really matter??????
Very refreshing & immpressive that most of you are not shallow! Those of you (you know who you are) are an example of what it means to be spiritually "evolved". May that which you deserve be yours!
Alright i know this is an old thread, but i had to respond. My husband had an affair a couple years back, during those 2 years i was treated like sh*t , but i took it since i have 2 small kids. I than found out about it, gave him a second chance for the kids. Than i noticed he didn't want to be intimate at all with me, which was odd because i knew there is no way he could go without sex for so long..never mind me..anyway i approached him told him i have needs...his response "if i can't give you what you want go get it from somewhere else" and i did , and not ashamed of it. You see i was a virgin when i got married so didn't know much about men's bodies and what body type i like...tall vs. short...etc. Long story short, i tasted chocolate and didn't want vanilla anymore (just an analogy) so here i am and have no physical attraction to my husband anymore, both physically and emotionally. But i can't nor will i live since that would be selfish and destroy my kids life. So I'm left with the question what does one do when they are not attracted to their spouse? advice?
Hmm, as I've never been with anybody for longer than I've been with my company... (going on 8 years), I've gotta say that everybody at work with whom I started looks pretty much the same to me.... When you see people every day you just get used to them and you don't notice any differences. Yes, I do know some guts have grown a bit in the meantime , but overall everybody's the same to me... Funny thing is that what I see in the mirror may not be exactly correct, either. We might be living with the memory of ourselves as well. Unless my cell phone totally sucks (takes nice pics of objects, though... ) or the distance for taking the picture is way too short, I might very well be living with my old image, too.
Back to relationships, I personally haven't had problems with the looks of my partners as time goes by, even though I've been attracted to men substantially older than I am up until now. Looks are fine... other things are not...
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, but overall everybody's the same to me... Funny thing is that what I see in the mirror may not be exactly correct, either.
