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I am a unabashed supporter of gay and lesbian rights, including the right to marry. I have always had gay and lesbian friends, and I am the proud uncle of a lesbian couple, but I've never had the nerve to ask one simple brickheaded question.
If gay and lesbians are attracted to the same sex, then why do many gay and lesbian couples adopt the opposite appearance of the sex they are attracted to?
This struck me as I looked over the great photos prom pictures of lesbian high school couples. So, I would be grateful for an answer because its killing me.
Those are teenagers who are still figuring out how to express themselves as they newly debut their sexuality. As they grow older and more comfortable with themselves, you see this style of opposite dress less and less. Really, everyone straight or gay develops into someone who doesn't dress to make a statement. Part of being an adult is dressing in a way which works for you and only you, not to please the world or shock the world or anything in between.
I am a unabashed supporter of gay and lesbian rights, including the right to marry. I have always had gay and lesbian friends, and I am the proud uncle of a lesbian couple, but I've never had the nerve to ask one simple brickheaded question.
If gay and lesbians are attracted to the same sex, then why do many gay and lesbian couples adopt the opposite appearance of the sex they are attracted to?
This struck me as I looked over the great photos prom pictures of lesbian high school couples. So, I would be grateful for an answer because its killing me.
OK, just gotta jump in here and see what kind of reps I can generate. I asked this same question of my very feminine lesbian daughter, and I can't tell you much of what she said, b/c I still didn't fully understand, but I think what it boiled down to is that people dress in the way that makes them the most comfortable, and she just happens to be attracted to the more masculine girls.
Thinking about it, I realize that while I'm always attracted to men, some of them are more effeminate than others, and rarely do I go for the macho type. And on rare occasions I have found myself attracted to women, though I've never dated them. Ultimately men give me butterflies and women don't though, so I'm assuming that's how most people pick their partners.
I think it's important to remember that just because a butch lesbian dresses in a way that some consider masculine that does not mean that the person acts or considers herself to be a man. I mean really, when the clothes come off, that person is still a female underneath. I'm bi, and I dated a lesbian for that last few years that most people here would probably consider to be butch (though I don't think many lesbians would classify her that way). Anyway, there was no confusion in her or my mind that she was actually a woman. She simply dressed in a way that made her feel comfortable.
I also think a lot of people believe that most lesbians are butch because it's more obvious. There are a bunch of women walking around who are gay and very feminine, but most people would assume that they are straight.
By the way, I'm not at all offended that you asked this question.
Stop trying to understand gays and lesbians. They don't want your empathy and understanding. Just accept them and move on with your amazing heterosexual life. Stop raining on their parade. Stop sticking your nose into their business. Your question opens the doors to a lot of bigotry. Move on.
Look - it's human nature for people to be curious about other cultures. There's no need to be so churlish about the original poster's question, especially when it sounds like that person genuinely want to understand LGBT culture better.
To give you an example of what I men: I'm Jewish and have had many non-Jewish people ask me questions about my culture. Some of those questions were ignorant in nature, but those who were asking me genuinely wanted to understand Jewish culture. If I had your defensive attitude toward those people, I would have missed an opportunity to educate them.
Excellent question. Because "the gay gene" makes them hotter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
I have a question...why does it seem all the incredibly hot guys end up being gay? Why Dear Mother, WHY????
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I asked this same question of my very feminine lesbian daughter, and I can't tell you much of what she said, b/c I still didn't fully understand, but I think what it boiled down to is that people dress in the way that makes them the most comfortable, and she just happens to be attracted to the more masculine girls. 
