Am I wrong to be upset about this? (loyalty, loving, kid)
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I'm going to have to disagree. Childcare cannot be that expensive. The single mother working at wal-mart would probably disagree too. If she can do it alone and still have a place to live and food and get her "hair did" then... And I'm not suggesting abandoning the children with child care professionals.
Getting a job temporarily or part time, would be an economically wise means to an end.
Oh man, that's spoken from someone who is completely unaware of childcare costs. A single mother in wal-mart cannot afford to pay for childcare unless she gets money or help somewhere else.
One child can cost at least 300-400 dollars a week, my friend pays 1500/month for her 2 kids daycare.
I assure you that a gal working at Walmart, after subtracting her work expenses and day care, would not be paying a quality center to take care of those kids.
Give me a break.
Well, if someone is working at WALMART then they should not be having kids because they certainly cannot afford them. I don't understand why people think they are entitled to have kids when they can't afford them then start to complain how broke they are and start their crying...geez!
Look - I think your husband made a big mistake. A very costly one but somewhat understandable. As long as he is being apologetic and telling you that he totally messed up then you are going to have to learn to let it go. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone. A big part of marriage is accepting decisions or actions that you would not have made if you were single. Also perhaps part of you is mad at yourself for not standing up to him and saying no because you surely could have.
I bet your husband is already feeling like an ass for causing his family (possible) financial strain. Plus it has just been revealed to him that his Dad is not perfect. Lot going on for him - he needs your support and will be eternally grateful for it....
You are so wrong on so many levels. Just because it's his dad does not mean he owes him that money. Sounds like his dear old dad is taking advantage of him, to the exclusion of the other siblings. Your harsh judgment of OP is way off base IMO.
That being said, I think OP should let this go and move on -- they have been burned, it sounds like, by this FIL in more ways that just with money. We can't choose our family of birth, but we CAN choose our family of choice.
Sure...she is only raising the children, that's not a valuable job at all.
I absolutely agree! To "TheStupid" -- what in the world are you TALKING about that the wife raising the kids at home has no SAY in the money! The 1950s called and they want you to come back where you belong.
"Originally Posted by recuerdeme I'm going to have to disagree. Childcare cannot be that expensive. The single mother working at wal-mart would probably disagree too. If she can do it alone and still have a place to live and food and get her "hair did" then... And I'm not suggesting abandoning the children with child care professionals.
Getting a job temporarily or part time, would be an economically wise means to an end."
To recuerdeme: You are totally clueless, and your racism was not at all disguised...Walk in someone else's shoes before you post such uninformed comments about the cost of childcare, among other things.
Yeah, on the other hand, the person who does not make money should not have any say in financial decisions at home.
This is one of the more assinine statements I've come across on this forum. My dh, F/T student, has a say in how our money is spent...because it's our money, not mine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheStupid
Heard that excuse like 1000 times. You lazy girls have a script book or something?
Actually, this is just as assinine if not more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme
I'm going to have to disagree. Childcare cannot be that expensive. The single mother working at wal-mart would probably disagree too. If she can do it alone and still have a place to live and food and get her "hair did" then... And I'm not suggesting abandoning the children with child care professionals.
Getting a job temporarily or part time, would be an economically wise means to an end.
The mom's at my work are paying upwards of 3k/month for child care. Granted, we're in the Boston area and everything is more expensive here, but I'm sure that's taking up more than half their net monthly income. eta: all that coupled with the costs of getting to work, (gas, tolls, etc) lunches, etc, it might be close to breaking even.
If that's a job, then the hubby is the employer. When does employee have any say on how employer spends his money?
If that's not a job, then the wife is not bringing any resource to the family. Why should she have any hand in financial decisions?
Are you being deliberately <insert your moniker here>?
Both have jobs which equally benefit their family, his job is outside the home at a value of a salary paid in money.
Her job is to care for 2 children and their home at a value of the opportunity cost of (salary working outside the home - child-care for 2 children - housekeeping). I bet the value she provides the family is greater than his salary.
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