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Old 04-14-2010, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
563 posts, read 1,710,681 times
Reputation: 413

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I'm sure I will get all kinds of nasty responses to this, but maybe I will get some helpful ones too. So I'm posting it anyway.

As a woman turning 30 this year...and perpetually single, with no boyfriend, no husband, no kids, no nada...I am, for the first time in my life, feeling my biological clock tick. And it's freaking me out a little bit. I realize it hasn't totally ticked itself out, but I am aware that my time is dwindling down. I really don't want to have kids after 35, and anyway it gets harder to have them after that. But I haven't had a boyfriend in a year and a half. And I have had dates, but never meet anyone who is near a keeper. It's sorta making me feel disillusioned that maybe Mr. Wonderful doesn't exist.

I guess I was wondering, from other single 30-something women, how you coped with that feeling when it came along for the first time? And how you accepted that you may be single, and you may not get to have kids, and that's just the cards you were dealt in life? It's making me sad lately and I want to feel better about it.

Thanks.
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,710,427 times
Reputation: 11309
Why not start using the dating sites aggressively?

Match and other sites are pretty decent. 30 is a good age. It's better than 40
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
563 posts, read 1,710,681 times
Reputation: 413
Thanks...tried the dating sites on more than one occasion. Disasters!!!
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,139,890 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Why not start using the dating sites aggressively?

Match and other sites are pretty decent. 30 is a good age. It's better than 40
Antlered in 10 years:

Quote:
40 is a good age. It's better than 50.
Antlered in 20 years:

Quote:
50 is a good age. It's better than 60.
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,710,427 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweethearttx View Post
Thanks...tried the dating sites on more than one occasion. Disasters!!!
Meetup.com? Let me tell you, I belong to about 10 food groups, 2 chocolate groups, coffee, christian and other common ground groups. I can tell it's at least 25 groups.

I get hit on and approached by women in many a meetup meeting. I'm just saying that you have nothing to lose and it's all about how you play your parameters.

Another place many approach me - the church. This is probably one place that's been the best in my opinion. But I'm not single, so I'm out of the playing field.

But you are a female. I'd rather vote on meetup. There is no pressure of going to a date here. That's what makes it easier for you to meet a potential life partner.

Besides, you can hit a gym and get into shape. Bastards will literally fall at your feet
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
563 posts, read 1,710,681 times
Reputation: 413
Well ok let me clarify...I meet men regularly who are interested in dating me. I try, but most of the time the attraction isn't there for me. Sometimes the guys are just plain weirdos, or are jerks, and I can see why they are single. But a lot of the times, the thought of kissing these men makes my skin crawl. I try to give people a chance but how can you date someone you are not physically attracted to?
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,710,427 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Antlered in 10 years:



Antlered in 20 years:
Si, are you disagreeing 30 is a bad age? Not at all.

I was talking to this dude in the gym. He was giving a theory on why he loves women past 30. His theory is that that's when all their drama and demons get out of their lives and they have sensible heads over their shoulders.

I think he is right. Sweetheart needs to woo men first, and play into their minds. You sure you are not showing signs of settling down too fast?

Many men tend to be spineless fools. They don't want the responsibility of being a husband and a Dad too fast. It needs guts and mental integrity.
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,710,427 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweethearttx View Post
Well ok let me clarify...I meet men regularly who are interested in dating me. I try, but most of the time the attraction isn't there for me. Sometimes the guys are just plain weirdos, or are jerks, and I can see why they are single. But a lot of the times, the thought of kissing these men makes my skin crawl. I try to give people a chance but how can you date someone you are not physically attracted to?
You are setting a standard there. Just remember the attractive men are already taken or are just players. You may have to fish hard and long. You still have 5 years before your time limit. Here's to hoping that some dude comes along
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
563 posts, read 1,710,681 times
Reputation: 413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
You sure you are not showing signs of settling down too fast?
Nope, I'm positive I'm not doing that. I was married young, and divorced young. I am no rush to settle down with someone, I take my sweet time getting to know people before allowing my heart to get involved.

But I do want to find love. And maybe in time to have kids.

The guys are always chasing me, and I'm always saying no. I never go looking for guys, ever. I just live my life. So I really don't think I'm scaring them off or giving off a bad vibe. My friends kid me about being a heartbreaker because I'm always rejecting these guys but none of them seem to do it for me. I just really don't know why. I am very open minded and try to give everyone a chance.
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Old 04-14-2010, 09:33 PM
 
20,707 posts, read 19,351,786 times
Reputation: 8279
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweethearttx View Post
I'm sure I will get all kinds of nasty responses to this, but maybe I will get some helpful ones too. So I'm posting it anyway.

.

Hi sweethearttx,

I suppose its because its been heard before.

Your chances for Mr pretty good are already reduced at 30. If you ever heard that love was also a verb you should pay even more attention. Stick with the basics. Meet lots of people, look as hot as you can, don't talk about sex as if it was a frequent occurrence, don't talk endlessly about your career, and so on. Most men looking to marry do so by about 35. 30-35 is the last big cohort.
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