Why single women & men won't date single parents (clothes, picture, reason)
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While people have opinions it does seem outlandish that my opinion of not wanting to date single mothers affects how she thinks of me. Ruining the chance to have something good because I don't want to date women with children. What's better is you don't have children yourself and you don't want any at all. That's funny if someone said that to me they can freely walk because they aren't good enough for me.
See, if a guy didn't want children at all and didn't want to date single moms, I'd be fine with it. Wouldn't bother me in the least. But to exclude an entire group of women because they have children, as if kids were just an inconvenience... I wouldn't trust that guy with the best interests of the biological kids we might have together, frankly. It indicates that he doesn't like kids that much to begin with, that biology is the determining factor in his outlook, and that he isn't very open-hearted.
I am not biologically related to my father - my parents used a sperm donor. I never knew the difference. Go ahead and tell my dad he raised another man's kid. I dare you.
Hmmm... I wrote a post here that somehow didn't survive the move...
Anyway - I wonder exactly how this came up and how our dear Robert expressed his distaste for dating single moms. Was it something like, "I prefer not to date single moms. I don't have children and I really don't plan on having children - so this wouldn't work for me." Or did he say something like, "Why on earth would I want to play daddy to some other guy's kids? She should have used protection in the first place and now she wants to me to clean up her mess. I'm not going to date some loser single mom!"
Context would help a lot. Because all we have now is him saying that he doesn't want to date single moms and her saying oh really. That doesn't seem that shocking and definitely not enough to label either one of them crazy or deranged.
Hmmm... I wrote a post here that somehow didn't survive the move...
Anyway - I wonder exactly how this came up and how our dear Robert expressed his distaste for dating single moms. Was it something like, "I prefer not to date single moms. I don't have children and I really don't plan on having children - so this wouldn't work for me." Or did he say something like, "Why on earth would I want to play daddy to some other guy's kids? She should have used protection in the first place and now she wants to me to clean up her mess. I'm not going to date some loser single mom!"
Context would help a lot. Because all we have now is him saying that he doesn't want to date single moms and her saying oh really. That doesn't seem that shocking and definitely not enough to label either one of them crazy or deranged.
I'm not even sure what happened with this thread? Did it get combined with another one?
See, if a guy didn't want children at all and didn't want to date single moms, I'd be fine with it. Wouldn't bother me in the least. But to exclude an entire group of women because they have children, as if kids were just an inconvenience... I wouldn't trust that guy with the best interests of the biological kids we might have together, frankly. It indicates that he doesn't like kids that much to begin with, that biology is the determining factor in his outlook, and that he isn't very open-hearted.
I am not biologically related to my father - my parents used a sperm donor. I never knew the difference. Go ahead and tell my dad he raised another man's kid. I dare you.
If you want children then you shouldn't waste the time of anyone who wants them. Honestly, if you think a person doesn't have an open heart because they view children as an inconvenience then please let them date someone who deserves them. I view children as an inconvenience because they are. If I don't have a open heart because of that then so be it but determining someone's heart deserves better then by judging whether that person wants to reproduce. They are just useless work in my already busy life and there is no reward for me in being a parent. There are other things I can do if I want to waste time and money.
If you're father legally adopted you then he did raise his own kid. If not then he didn't and I would tell him. I fear no one.
If you want children then you shouldn't waste the time of anyone who wants them. Honestly, if you think a person doesn't have an open heart because they view children as an inconvenience then please let them date someone who deserves them. I view children as an inconvenience because they are. If I don't have a open heart because of that then so be it but determining someone's heart deserves better then by judging whether that person wants to reproduce. They are just useless work in my already busy life and there is no reward for me in being a parent. There are other things I can do if I want to waste time and money.
If you're father legally adopted you then he did raise his own kid. If not then he didn't and I would tell him. I fear no one.
I'm not sure I understand your post. I don't date guys in general who want children of their own but view women who already have children as untouchable. I can go either way on the subject of children - I would have my own with the right guy, though I'm not counting down my biological clock in terror. If it happens, it happens. I am also willing to date men who have children already. I'm 36. Excluding men with kids would eliminate a ridiculous number of people for having taken a natural step in life. I'm not holding any guys back from the people who deserve them - I'm up-front about my beliefs and priorities.
I try to live as open-heartedly as possible, and if a guy can't match me in that, then he's not for me.
I'm not sure I understand your post. I don't date guys in general who want children of their own but view women who already have children as untouchable. I can go either way on the subject of children - I would have my own with the right guy, though I'm not counting down my biological clock in terror. If it happens, it happens. I am also willing to date men who have children already. I'm 36. Excluding men with kids would eliminate a ridiculous number of people for having taken a natural step in life. I'm not holding any guys back from the people who deserve them - I'm up-front about my beliefs and priorities.
I try to live as open-heartedly as possible, and if a guy can't match me in that, then he's not for me.
Ok then let me understand so you wouldn't date someone who views women as untouchable? Ok but you wouldn't mind never having children yourself though. I'm not trying to convince you but I don't understand the rationale. Are you also saying that I don't have an open heart because I view women with children as untouchable? I guess you have to define what you mean by untouchable. I have been approached by women who had children. I said to all of them each time that they have no chance with me.
At my age, 42, it is very hard to find a guy without kids. i cant rule them out as a result. However, my new.guy doesnt have any. I swear it is like I have hit the jackpot! So much better as we can be spontaneous.
Ok then let me understand so you wouldn't date someone who views women as untouchable? Ok but you wouldn't mind never having children yourself though. I'm not trying to convince you but I don't understand the rationale. Are you also saying that I don't have an open heart because I view women with children as untouchable? I guess you have to define what you mean by untouchable. I have been approached by women who had children. I said to all of them each time that they have no chance with me.
1) I don't have children yet, though I like them. I am open to having children of my own, but I do not REQUIRE that I have them. In other words, I'm not freaking out that my ovaries could shrivel at any time.
2) I am open to dating men with children and taking a step-parenting role if the relationship progresses. I have little desire to date a man who refuses to date a woman with children, because I view it as a reflection of his values, which obviously would not align with mine.
3) Yes, if you want children of your own, I do see you as not very open-hearted since you insist that women who already have children have no chance with you. That's fine - it's your prerogative. But if you fit my other demographics, it would likely disqualify you from dating me, simply because I view it as mismatched values. I could not see having a child with someone who did not view children in the same way that I did. That is MY prerogative.
And, re your earlier post, um, I was not threatening that my daddy would beat you up. He's 81 and walks with a limp. But it's really great that you fear no one - keep working that!
I'm with you. Totally. I have no problem being an ass. It's just that even this has turned into a matter of "political correctness" in matriarchal America.
It's much nicer to have a woman in your passenger seat that doesn't have any kids. You're on the same wavelength. So, when I heard the "Oh, realllyyyyyy" coming from a childless woman in the passenger seat, I thought to myself "what a douche." But, we were heading to dinner and SHE bought, since I bought last time, almost as a way of signaling this isn't going anywhere.
I have been driving my sports car when a woman wondered out loud which mini van to trade my car in for.
Tons of single mothers I have met or profiles that I read on the dating sites just don't want more kids. They have had their children with someone else, and they don't want more. This isn't always the case, but I see it all the time. And that's why I don't date them.
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