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Does being promiscuous automatically labels you as a potential cheater?
Not necessarily a potential cheater, but I would hesitate to date someone who sleeps around a lot. And I would want him to be tested for STDs before we had sex. I would be willing to be tested as well. (Fair's fair.)
I wouldn't PURPOSELY date a proiscuous (who care it's late) person...but if I was really liking somebody and that spilled out...I could work around it.
You know, 'promiscuous' is one of those terms people love to bandy about without really having a good definition for it. It's typically slung around by those more interested in rendering judgment than actually trying to understand the person.
In practice, I think people define 'promiscuous' as when someone has slept with more people than they have.
You're absolutely correct; however, that's inevitable since promiscuity, like (for example) pain, is based on personal perception. There IS no hard-and-fast number:
If you've slept with (x) people you're normal; if you've slept with (x+1) you've crossed the line into promiscuity.
Not to mention phases in life. I've slept with a LOT of women, but the majority of those encounters occurred when I was much, much younger and involved in a different sort of environment altogether. Based on those numbers I was most assuredly promiscuous. The last decade has seen a remarkable decrease in that number while the last five years of my life has seen the number dwindle down to "1" -- and the last 2.5 years of that period at "0".
Hardly promiscuous, yet if asked how many women I've been with and no details offered, the number screams promiscuity.
I still agree with you. There are some people who will have been with one partner and if they discover you've been with two they'll curl up and die over your disgustingly lewd nature. People tend to make very little sense when it comes to sex. My wife, before we were married, made a HUGE deal out of the fact that I was once almost in a threesome, despite that I told her I didn't go through with it because I really am a one-on-one kind of lover and felt self-conscious about the whole thing -- yet AFTER we were married I discovered she'd lived for three years in a BDSM relationship.
You know, 'promiscuous' is one of those terms people love to bandy about without really having a good definition for it. It's typically slung around by those more interested in rendering judgment than actually trying to understand the person.
In practice, I think people define 'promiscuous' as when someone has slept with more people than they have.
Well dating is judgemental by nature. Who wants to find out that someone is just dating them out of kindness?
I don't see anything wrong with a person not wanting to date people who've had more partners than them. I don't think I'm wrong for not wanting to get in a relationship with a guy that's been with over 100 women when I can count the number of men I've been with on one hand with fingers to spare. Mid to high double digits are bad enough, but I think people who've hit the triple digits have mental issues.
Well dating is judgemental by nature. Who wants to find out that someone is just dating them out of kindness?
I don't see anything wrong with a person not wanting to date people who've had more partners than them. I don't think I'm wrong for not wanting to get in a relationship with a guy that's been with over 100 women when I can count the number of men I've been with on one hand with fingers to spare. Mid to high double digits are bad enough, but I think people who've hit the triple digits have mental issues.
And yet, there are going to be people who think that you're promiscuous for having had sex at all before you are married. See how that works?
That doesn't bother me one bit. People often date to find a potential life partner. They should be discriminatory.
I don't disagree with you. But that's not my point. I'm simply saying that the definition of "promiscuous" is a pretty elastic one, dependent on the viewpoint of the person using the term.
Let's look at it this way. Let's say that you're dating someone who's 28 and slept with two dozen people in high school and college, but then dated someone exclusively for a period of six or seven years, only to have the relationship finally fizzle out a few months before meeting you.
So what do you have on your hands here? Someone who is promiscuous or someone who simply has a checkered past? Do you see how harmful it is to hang a label on someone like that?
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