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I am finding it a mission to live a normal, happy life in this city. The dating circle here seems so dead and limited to me. I have never had this much trouble finding someone to do something as simple as go to a movie. But lately, I have been forced to go to the movies alone or with the same friend since I moved here. Its been over 5 months and I've yet to get a movie date out of anyone. Weekend after weekend I have no date.
It seems like many of the men here are more interested in going to a bar, if that. The number of flaky people I've encountered here is mind-boggling. The men seem all 'ooo wow' about me, but cant ever get around to setting up something meanigful. And when they do, it usually turns out they are just using me. Either as arm candy, or for a free ride...its never genuine.
I usually date Hispanic men and occasionally, Black and White. The Hispanic men here are totally indifferent. They seem to view me as some kind of 'alien'. Like...'oooo, I never been with a Black person before'. The Black guys...well they are no different. In fact, I haven't gone on a date with a single Black guy here because they act so flaky! It never leads up to anything. I've also encountered numerous Black men who had reservations against other Black people. The White guys....they seem too shy to approach me. And if I do, they just say a few words and then just walk away.
I just cant live this kind of life. Im not desparate for a man, but if its going to be so hard just to get a friggin Friday or Saturday night date, I don't want to be like that. As much as I want to see a particular movie, it hurts to have to go alone again and again. The men I have met in San Antonio, they seem to have no interest or desire to do something outside of a bar.
So my question is: if you're non-White/Hispanic, are you destined to have a dead dating life? Because after 5 months, it damn sure feels like it
I am finding it a mission to live a normal, happy life in this city. The dating circle here seems so dead and limited to me. I have never had this much trouble finding someone to do something as simple as go to a movie. But lately, I have been forced to go to the movies alone or with the same friend since I moved here. Its been over 5 months and I've yet to get a movie date out of anyone. Weekend after weekend I have no date.
It seems like many of the men here are more interested in going to a bar, if that. The number of flaky people I've encountered here is mind-boggling. The men seem all 'ooo wow' about me, but cant ever get around to setting up something meanigful. And when they do, it usually turns out they are just using me. Either as arm candy, or for a free ride...its never genuine.
I usually date Hispanic men and occasionally, Black and White. The Hispanic men here are totally indifferent. They seem to view me as some kind of 'alien'. Like...'oooo, I never been with a Black person before'. The Black guys...well they are no different. In fact, I haven't gone on a date with a single Black guy here because they act so flaky! It never leads up to anything. I've also encountered numerous Black men who had reservations against other Black people. The White guys....they seem too shy to approach me. And if I do, they just say a few words and then just walk away.
I just cant live this kind of life. Im not desparate for a man, but if its going to be so hard just to get a friggin Friday or Saturday night date, I don't want to be like that. As much as I want to see a particular movie, it hurts to have to go alone again and again. The men I have met in San Antonio, they seem to have no interest or desire to do something outside of a bar.
So my question is: if you're non-White/Hispanic, are you destined to have a dead dating life? Because after 5 months, it damn sure feels like it
Well, I'm white and have dated black women before. Never had a problem asking a woman out (color of skin was never a factor). Of course I'm married now (to a Mexican woman) and it's been a very long time since dating.
I see a lot of bi-racial couples here in SoCal...and I saw the same in SA. Maybe you're intimidating them?
What age group are you talking about?
I see a lot of bi-racial couples here in SoCal...and I saw the same in SA. Maybe you're intimidating them?
What age group are you talking about?
I mainly date men in my age group between 22-24, I don't go beyond about 25 because its usually 'players' out for younger girls. But thats not to say I turn them down if they are...but I dont see them as 'relationship' material.
Even if I were intimidating (which I can be), thats not an excuse they could use. Because once they meet me, they see the charm beneath. But its always the same, either they aren't interested and if they are, I'm just like some experiement.
Its not about being inter-racial. Like I said, even the other Black guys I've ran into come off as being unwilling to date. You happen to be 1 White guy here, but that does not speak for the entire city. I went to Riverwalk the other night and was surprised at the number of 'couples', but I couldn't help but wonder where they came from.
Well the age range you are in pretty much sums it up. Most 'men' that age are usually too immature to know what they want in the first place. At least that was always my experience when I was that age and single. Admittedly SA can be unforgiving to the single set, but there are good men out there ... I just wouldnt be in any hurry if I was in my early twenties to find one. Have fun and enjoy life! Remember regardless of how beautiful you are, its really about the attitude and vibe you are sending. If you are standoffish and oozing ego, people pick up on that and will avoid you even if you do look like Beyonce. Its not always other people, often it comes from within ourselves. So maybe you might want to examine what YOU are bringing to the table, particulary if your own expecations are high. Good Luck!
P/S When I was single I never had any problems dating outside of my own culture, but mainly because I never focused on what other people might think or say about it. Dont make such a big deal out of race and come out the gate with preconceived notions about why a particular race will or wont date you....who cares?? There are more important things to consider when trying to find a mate..............like how hot he is and if he has a 401K......and you know morals, values, ethics, blah blah blah
LOL, well...people always tell me just have fun just enjoy life and be yourself. Well my question is HOW can I just have fun and enjoy myself if I'm living in a place where I cant even get a date on the weekends? How fun is that? Its not.
Its easy to say just have fun, and I am having fun with what I got. But part of having fun is having a man around to do things with, be together, and just have a blast.
I understand the age part has alot to do with it, but I dont think thats the answer to this dilemma. Someone mentioned in an email that "if I am looking for Black guys"....no, Im not looking for only Black guys. This is not about a shortage of Blacks in San Antonio.
Its also not about any pre-concieved notions about race. I'm not sitting around wondering why so and so prefers to date such and such. I've put myself out in the scene here and its obvious that this place is a dead zone for dating. And many of the ones I've known who has attempted to delve into the dating scene come out jaded and disappointed time after time. Or its all drama. This whole state has 2 extremes: You either be lonely and single or you be married by 17 and have 5 kids. Neither one of those is my idea of life. Being that this city is so un-metropolitan, its no wonder why its so hard to get a date. There's no quiet walks on the beach, or a walk thru town...and you can only go to the Riverwalk so many times. Besides, non of the local men here I know even mention going on a date to the Riverwalk. I've only had 1 date take me to the Riverwalk area, and it was a weeknight! Take me out a weekend like a normal person would, but no...most of the Hispanic men here are too afraid to be seen with a Black girl for fear of what 'they' would think. And its true because I was talking with this Mex guy who was married to a Black girl...and he would get it all the time. "What are you doing with that....?"
Even if all the above is 'typical' in dating, I'll tell you whats not typical. Its not typical for me to come to a city and go 5 months without a weekend date.
Sounds like you are overanalyzing your own situation and maybe trying TOO hard to score a date. Just chill out and let things happen naturally. But I will concede that SA can be tough when you are single. I met a lot of people by 25 that either been married and divorced, have kids, or both. :\
You don't like San Antonio, I guess.
First you complained about the "ghetto", area where you live in, your neighbors and places. Now you complain about guys here. Maybe everyone just see to much negativity in you.
Possible?
Why not try internet dating?
It does work but of course you have to weed out the ones that are big no-no's.
It does work; I met my husband on Yahoo! Personals. There are people close by on the sites, my husband lived about a mile away from me at the time.
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There are people close by on the sites, my husband lived about a mile away from me at the time.