How Men Can Reduce Risk of Divorce (marriages, single, family)

[fleetiebelle]

Marriage is down because people are waiting longer to marry.

Or maybe people are living in domestic partnerships without getting married. It doesn't mean people are writing off relationships, just doing them differently.

[dgfurman]

I have to agree with the article. Before we had kids, I worked full time. Now with little ones, I'm home, and I find that WAY more exhausting and much harder work than going to work. Thankfully, my dh does help around the house and with the kids, so it lightens the load for me some, and that is what a "partnership" is about.

[Huckleberry3911948]

the assumption that you if you treat your wife well you will have a good marriage is not supported by the evidence provided.
treating others well takes care of 50% of the problem.
american men do in fact help alot with the housework. marriage bliss has not been forthcoming.
in last 50 years we have experimented alot with marriage, with disasterous results.

[Thursday007]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

Or maybe people are living in domestic partnerships without getting married. It doesn't mean people are writing off relationships, just doing them differently.

Certainly, there are a number of reasons, people are waiting longer to marry, there are fewer people than the generation before, hell, if people aren't getting married someone tell my dad - he's on wife number 3.

[samston]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

the assumption that you if you treat your wife well you will have a good marriage is not supported by the evidence provided.
treating others well takes care of 50% of the problem.

People don't associate with others who don't treat them well.

[sophialee]

Originally Posted by 2mares

It dosent say the working husband does all the housework or most of the housework. I think "the highest amount" is referirng to the more he helps out at home the less likely to divorce. From my traditional upbringing, typically, when a man gets home from work his responsibility ends other than maybe mowing the yard. IMO the article means helping care for the kids, give them a bath once in a while, help with homework, etc. Wash the dishes once in a while, fold some clothes generally clean up after yourself. Just because a person works outside the home 40 hrs. a week shouldnt absolve them from interacting with their children and doing some domestic duties.

I'm certain that's what it meant too.

[sophialee]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

This was an English article, so ... I wonder if that's what a chav is. I'm not certain what defines a chav, except that I'm pretty sure they don't read.

Urban Dictionary: Chav / Chavette

[CaliTerp07]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

the assumption that you if you treat your wife well you will have a good marriage is not supported by the evidence provided.
treating others well takes care of 50% of the problem.

How so? What evidence?

[Huckleberry3911948]

Originally Posted by CaliTerp07

How so? What evidence?

where is the evidence that all american men treat their wives badly and do nothing to help with the housework?

[Yzette]

For those who are complaining about the "highest amount" and making it seem like the men are doing all the work while the women sit around doing nothing, I will say that the original link is an example of poor reporting of statistics.

The "highest amount" refers to a relative amount of work within the options provided by the study.

This article explains it better:

[URL="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article7125510.ece"]Husbands who help in house divorce less[/URL]

From the article:

"The fathers’ participation in housework, shopping and childcare was measured in the number of tasks he was reported by the mother to have done in the previous week.

Just over half of fathers in 1975 were reported to have helped with none or one task (51%), while 24% carried out two tasks. About a quarter carried out three or four, the highest contribution."

In other words, one task is the lowest amount, two tasks is the middle amount, and three or four is the highest amount.

That does not mean that the men in the "highest amount" group were doing more housework and childcare than the women. Far from it, and such a thought cannot be inferred from the statistics by a long shot.

Unless you think that only three or four things need to be done per week to run a household or raise a child.

In which case, you should probably not be married in the first place, and whatever you do, please don't breed.

I digress.

This was in 1975. Only a third of the women were employed, an only 5% of them were working full-time.

Now I'm going to hazard a guess, just a wee little guess based on my own experience and what I've seen of the world, that these women were doing the eleventy bazillion other tasks that need to be done every day to run a household and raise children.

Remember, these guys were doing three or four tasks per week. So, they took out the garbage once, put the dishes in the dishwasher once, turned on the kid's bathwater once, maybe ran the vacuum or changed a diaper once. Their wives did everything else: All the errands, all the chauffeuring, all the cleaning (including all the scrubbing of all the toilets with all the man-pee on the rims), all the cooking, all the diaper-changing, all the kissing of all the boo-boos, all the reading of the bedtime stories, all the mopping of all the spilled milk, all the plant-watering, all the laundry, all the judging of all the inter-sibling brawls, all the pet doo-doo clean-up, all the dusting, all the child-proofing, and probably all of the bleepin' Christmas-card writing.

And that was in 1975--when 95% of them were around most of the time to do it.

Yeah, big help three or four tasks a week are going to be to a working wife or mother now.

We need studies based on today's world, thanks much.