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I've been attracted to the guys I've dated, and I'm going to assume they were attracted to me at some point.
Other than that, men just don't seem to be attracted to me. If they are, I'm just an idiot and don't realize it. It just never occurs to me that anyone would be into me. When I first started seeing my ex, he told me he had been into me for awhile but I blew him off. I had no idea.
I was out walking last night and a nice looking guy walked by and smiled and said hello. I said hi back but all I thought was "cute dog!"
I've never taken the time to pursue them properly, but I toy around with Mandarin and I plan to start enhancing my Spanish because we're developing quite a local Mexican American (or just Mexican import) population. Since the U.S. never declared any official language I have no problem speaking other lingos to whomever happens by.
Generally speaking, I just love languages and foreign cultures. Not every aspect of every foreign culture, certainly, but I've come to feel after years abroad that many cultures have a certain zest for life, a vivacity combined with a certain acceptance of the world and human nature which we've long since forgone here in the United States, where our social skills long ago came down with a sort of ethnocentric cancer. Foreign cultures tend to appeal to the blunt practicality of the farmer in me -- in many ways, if not all.
We're gonna get busted for going off-topic.
Oh darling, you just put into words what has been floating around my head for so long. While I love the sheer comfort, accessibility, and convenience of the U.S. (I grew up with it and thus am used to it), I still can't help but feel whenever I travel abroad that I'm entering the "real world" per se and whenever I return to the U.S., it's like coming back to the Disney World version of life. I like a little grittiness. . . it makes one feel alive.
If it's a man who I don't know and I find him good-looking, he won't notice me. But funny thing is, if it's someone I know and I pick up on signals that they're attracted to me, I'll start finding myself attracted to them even if I didn't think so at first.
Generally speaking, I just love languages and foreign cultures. Not every aspect of every foreign culture, certainly, but I've come to feel after years abroad that many cultures have a certain zest for life, a vivacity combined with a certain acceptance of the world and human nature which we've long since forgone here in the United States, where our social skills long ago came down with a sort of ethnocentric cancer. Foreign cultures tend to appeal to the blunt practicality of the farmer in me -- in many ways, if not all.
We're gonna get busted for going off-topic.
Meh, it really depends on where you go in the US and where you go in the world. The most Disneyland style real place I have been to is not in the US and many of the places I have been to outside the US tend to have their own impractical intricacies even if they are different then those in the US. On top of that there are all sorts of places in the US that don't match that description...The only problem is despite all of our freedom, and mobility we really don't travel much outside of our comfort zone. It always surprises me how many people I have met who have spent more time on the opposite side of the world then on the opposite side of their city.
Last edited by Randomstudent; 05-28-2010 at 08:27 AM..
We're going to get busted for not being on-topic, but oh well... In my view this is how conversation evolves anyway.
Example:
While the whole deal of entering a Russian or Ukrainian household and removing footwear doesn't generally appeal to me in any immediately practical sense I CAN understand the overall practical sense of it, whereby goods which are costly or difficult to obtain are preserved thereby.
On the flip-side of that, there's an old joke which is applied to Russians and Finns alike:
Question: How many Russians (Finns) does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: They don't change light bulbs; they fix the old one.
While this can be an exaggeration there is something to many foreign cultures I've encountered wherein a certain self-sufficiency is admirable. In America it's admirable but far from commonplace.
I've been in the midst of repairing items (not light bulbs, mind you) before and had American acquaintances say to me "That's too much trouble. Why don't you just buy a new one?" Even if I remarked that I simply wanted to see if I was capable of fixing (it) I've been told it was too much trouble, better to give up and buy a new one.
Example:
Here in America when we have friends over and wine will be served, we pull out the wine glasses, even for a casual dinner. It would be considered tacky to serve wine in non-stemware, let alone everyday glassware.
When I lived in Italy I used to help my landlord out on his plot, picking olives, figs, grapes, cactus fruit, etc. Friends and family would drop by and we'd all get seated around an old wooden table they had outside with a plastic dropcloth over it. Wine would be served as everyone chatted animatedly. This person would have a tumbler, that one a juice glass, another an old jelly jar used as a glass.
No one cared what they were drinking from, the wine and company were the important things.
Food would come out of the kitchen piled onto a large plate, everyone would be handed a small plate, some earthenware, some ceramic... someone might even get a bowl because they ran out of plates.
And no one cared because WHY would one care? Food and company, that was what was important.
Here people might be polite initially but they'd look at you differently, snicker behind their hands and chat about the tackiness on the way home.
While the whole deal of entering a Russian or Ukrainian household and removing footwear doesn't generally appeal to me in any immediately practical sense I CAN understand the overall practical sense of it, whereby goods which are costly or difficult to obtain are preserved thereby.
Actually, I think it has more to do with climate. In Russia (at least where I grew up) it's actually considered in bad taste to walk around the house barefoot or in socks, but you always change your footwear as soon as you come in. That's because in the winter, you inevitably carry a few pounds of sleet and mud on your shoes. It's also the reason why Russian houses and even tiny Soviet-era apartments always have a small entrance hall separated from the rest of the dwelling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch
When I lived in Italy I used to help my landlord out on his plot, picking olives, figs, grapes, cactus fruit, etc. Friends and family would drop by and we'd all get seated around an old wooden table they had outside with a plastic dropcloth over it. Wine would be served as everyone chatted animatedly. This person would have a tumbler, that one a juice glass, another an old jelly jar used as a glass.
No one cared what they were drinking from, the wine and company were the important things.
Food would come out of the kitchen piled onto a large plate, everyone would be handed a small plate, some earthenware, some ceramic... someone might even get a bowl because they ran out of plates.
And no one cared because WHY would one care? Food and company, that was what was important.
Oh, I miss that, they do it that way in France, too. I still serve wine in ordinary glassware and none of my plates match. If I ever get the urge to buy place settings, I just want someone to put me out of my misery then.
Actually, I think it has more to do with climate. In Russia (at least where I grew up) it's actually considered in bad taste to walk around the house barefoot or in socks, but you always change your footwear as soon as you come in. That's because in the winter, you inevitably carry a few pounds of sleet and mud on your shoes. It's also the reason why Russian houses and even tiny Soviet-era apartments always have a small entrance hall separated from the rest of the dwelling.
Oh, I miss that, they do it that way in France, too. I still serve wine in ordinary glassware and none of my plates match. If I ever get the urge to buy place settings, I just want someone to put me out of my misery then.
The rugs (by not tracking things in) are the costly goods to which I was referring, not the footwear.
I miss that way of life from Italy. Northern Italy was very different; I preferred Southern.
Sometimes, but Murphy's Law always seems to prevail and usually those who find me attractive I don't like.
Bingo!! In my experience, the women I've found to be really attractive have never paid any attention to me. But most of the women who have showed an interest in me over the years, I never felt much attraction to them. I guess that's just the way it goes. There was, however, this younger girl who was a barista at Starbucks who definitely showed an interest in me, although it took me a while to realize it. She was 21 at the time, and I was 35. But I wasn't aggressive or forward enough, so eventually she moved on. But before I got to know her, I didn't think she was HOT HOT or anything, but she had a unique look. But I did become more attracted to her as time went on. And it turns out that I had worked with her mother years before, when I was still in high school and working in the mall. Her mother was like 10 years older than I -- but I definitely though her mother was cute back then!
I'm kicking myself now for not being more proactive with the daughter, because she comes from a very nice family -- and the girl herself was/is very mature and had a sweet, friendly disposition. But shyness has been a lifelong curse for me! I have a lot of regrets!
I was just thinking if you find someone attractive, is it much more likely that they are attracted to you?
Some reasons why I think this may be true:
1. If you find out someone likes you, it is more likely that you will be interested in them. I have read studies that prove this and have found this to be the case. People act differently around those they are attracted to and that can be picked up subconsioulsy through eye contact, body language and the persons general behavior. They take it as a compliment and are more likely to like you back, given point 2 below.
2. People tend to go for those who are of similar attractiveness. People who are average learn not to hit on super attactive people because of prior rejections. They learn that they get success with similar people, so their attraction will be to people who are in their league.
So if you find someone that you are interested in, even without saying, there is a far greater chance that they will like you back, compared to someone you are not intersted in. Have you found this to be true or untrue in you life?
I tend to find myself attracted to someone (of the opposite sex) who I think might be attracted to me... until I find out otherwise.
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