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My wife quit her job a couple of months ago. Although I supported her decision, I did try to urge her to try to find something else before 'snapping' and walking out, but that fell on deaf ears and was the cause of countless arguments. She was convinced that she'd find another job quickly (even convinced me), but 2 months on and she has had no luck whatsoever (just one interview). To make matters worse, we have eaten into our savings and I am struggling to support us both on my sole income. So her solution now is to move in with her mother to save money....
....which I am COMPLETELY opposed to. For starters, I have found many cheap "efficiency" type places in our area, but she won't hear it. We could just about get by, if we pretty much sacrificed everything (cell phones, cable, etc).
My wife and her mother do not get along in a 'living together' environment. My MIL lived with us for a while when she was between apartments and homeless and it was a NIGHTMARE. They fought all the time, we had zero privacy and the MIL was constantly picking fights with my wife, criticizing everything she did and never letting us relax. This was in OUR apartment too, so living in HER apartment would be even worse as it'd be her rules. Add to that, her apartment is just a 1BR and smaller than the apartment we have now.
My wife is crazy for proposing this. She must know that it will lead to disaster. I am at my complete and utter wit's end with this. I am about to tell her that if SHE wants to move in with her mother so badly, she can go alone and I'll find myself an efficiency to live in.
Sorry, but when times are tough, I do not go running back to my parents. I wouldn't even live with my OWN parents, never mind my wife's mother, who is extremely difficult. What do you suggest? I swear, I would rather get divorced than subject myself to living with that woman again. Last time, it almost drove me nuts, when I couldn't even seek refuge in the place I call 'home'.
My wife quit her job a couple of months ago. Although I supported her decision, I did try to urge her to try to find something else before 'snapping' and walking out, but that fell on deaf ears and was the cause of countless arguments. She was convinced that she'd find another job quickly (even convinced me), but 2 months on and she has had no luck whatsoever (just one interview). To make matters worse, we have eaten into our savings and I am struggling to support us both on my sole income. So her solution now is to move in with her mother to save money....
....which I am COMPLETELY opposed to. For starters, I have found many cheap "efficiency" type places in our area, but she won't hear it. We could just about get by, if we pretty much sacrificed everything (cell phones, cable, etc).
My wife and her mother do not get along in a 'living together' environment. My MIL lived with us for a while when she was between apartments and homeless and it was a NIGHTMARE. They fought all the time, we had zero privacy and the MIL was constantly picking fights with my wife, criticizing everything she did and never letting us relax. This was in OUR apartment too, so living in HER apartment would be even worse as it'd be her rules. Add to that, her apartment is just a 1BR and smaller than the apartment we have now.
My wife is crazy for proposing this. She must know that it will lead to disaster. I am at my complete and utter wit's end with this. I am about to tell her that if SHE wants to move in with her mother so badly, she can go alone and I'll find myself an efficiency to live in.
Sorry, but when times are tough, I do not go running back to my parents. I wouldn't even live with my OWN parents, never mind my wife's mother, who is extremely difficult. What do you suggest? I swear, I would rather get divorced than subject myself to living with that woman again. Last time, it almost drove me nuts, when I couldn't even seek refuge in the place I call 'home'.
Time for a marriage counselor,OP.
If your wife makes decision that affect both parties w/o consulting you,then things are on rocky ground.
Unless you are ready to get divorced,time to get help.
Good luck.
Man, I feel for you. Sounds like nightmare. Hang in there.
If she persists with this, I will not be hanging in there. I made that decision a while ago. Call me an a-hole for thinking that way, but I am not going to subject myself to an unlivable living situation. She might not work now, but I still work (and damn hard). I do not want to come home to that woman's apartment every night to a bunch of more stress and aggravation and awkwardness.
Time for a marriage counselor,OP.
If your wife makes decision that affect both parties w/o consulting you,then things are on rocky ground.
Unless you are ready to get divorced,time to get help.
Good luck.
I have suggested that in the past over other problems we've had and again, it fell on deaf ears. I've always been the one with the problem and apparently now, I am selfish for even making this an issue. Difference in culture I guess. She is from a Mexican family and is still close to her mother, despite the fact that they fight all the time.
sounds to me like she is looking for an excuse to move out and away from the marriage
if someone is single, yeah i can see moving back home. But when people are married, and one says "i'm moving back home" it's generally NOT about the money, although the money can be used as an excuse to hide behind
I have suggested that in the past over other problems we've had and again, it fell on deaf ears. I've always been the one with the problem and apparently now, I am selfish for even making this an issue. Difference in culture I guess. She is from a Mexican family and is still close to her mother, despite the fact that they fight all the time.
it's not your fault you want to live with your wife; sounds to me like she is the one with the problem and the lack of skills in relationships at both work and with her husband. It sounds like she is not mature enough or stable enough emotionally to be in a marriage and be away from her birth family. that is unfortunate for you because it sounds like the death knell for your relationship. in the long run it may be a good thing if it gets you out of that relationship and into a healthier situation
your idea for counseling is a good one; go yourself even if she does NOT go, it will help you have healthier relationships in the future and not get into this situation again. Best wishes
I was sort of joking as you sound like someone I know - my brother. His wife ad MIL argue every damn day on the phone yet she has to come fly up here to see her and is even considering living with them. - EGADS MAN!! My side of the family wasn't any better. My dad bought a house and they leased it from him. So, the MIL and relatives were visiting and my dad showed up and threw them all out of the house because, well, it's his house and he can do what he wants. It was a screwed up mess from every angle. I feel your pain. Would his wife go get a job - OH HELL NO.
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