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For a half an hour (I had the time to kill) I sat alone in my room just now and kept saying, "Come on, satan. I ain't afraid of you, baby. Show yourself to me. Come on. I'll take you on any day of the week, any minute of the day. Show yourself to me. Show me one of your demons. Don't be shy. Moderator cut: deleted Come on. Knock that empty glass over. I dare you. Go on. Do it and I'll believe in you."
This went on until I felt like an absolute idiot talking to myself.
Now you'd think with a gold-engraved invitation like that satan or someone would have showed up if they were there as the Bible says they are, all this "satan walks around like a roaring lion" stuff. But I didn't hear any roars--not even a meow.
If satan was real wouldn't he have paid me a visit?
Like I said. Pure mythology.
Last edited by june 7th; 06-23-2014 at 08:40 AM..
Reason: Infers inappropriate language, which is in violation of the TOS.
For a half an hour (I had the time to kill) I sat alone in my room just now and kept saying, "Come on, satan. I ain't afraid of you, baby. Show yourself to me. Come on. I'll take you on any day of the week, any minute of the day. Show yourself to me. Show me one of your demons. Don't be shy. Moderator cut: Orphaned Come on. Knock that empty glass over. I dare you. Go on. Do it and I'll believe in you."
This went on until I felt like an absolute idiot talking to myself.
Now you'd think with a gold-engraved invitation like that satan or someone would have showed up if they were there as the Bible says they are, all this "satan walks around like a roaring lion" stuff. But I didn't hear any roars--not even a meow.
If satan was real wouldn't he have paid me a visit?
Like I said. Pure mythology.
Satan isn't interested in proving to you that he exists. And you are already firmly on the side of Satan and don't even know it. He is using you as an unsuspecting pawn in the spiritual warfare which rages throughout human history. Satan uses people such as yourself to discredit the Bible and muddy up the waters with the lies of his cosmic system. Even an eternally saved believer in Christ Jesus can be on the wrong side of the spiritual warfare because he rejects Biblically revealed truths and has bought into Satan's deceptions.
For a half an hour (I had the time to kill) I sat alone in my room just now and kept saying, "Come on, satan. I ain't afraid of you, baby. Show yourself to me. Come on. I'll take you on any day of the week, any minute of the day. Show yourself to me. Show me one of your demons. Don't be shy. Moderator cut: Orphaned Come on. Knock that empty glass over. I dare you. Go on. Do it and I'll believe in you."
This went on until I felt like an absolute idiot talking to myself.
Now you'd think with a gold-engraved invitation like that satan or someone would have showed up if they were there as the Bible says they are, all this "satan walks around like a roaring lion" stuff. But I didn't hear any roars--not even a meow.
If satan was real wouldn't he have paid me a visit?
Satan isn't interested in proving to you that he exists. And you are already firmly on the side of Satan and don't even know it. He is using you as an unsuspecting pawn in the spiritual warfare which rages throughout human history. Satan uses people such as yourself to discredit the Bible and muddy up the waters with the lies of his cosmic system. Even an eternally saved believer in Christ Jesus can be on the wrong side of the spiritual warfare.
OR
There is NO such thing as a great evil power named Satan to whom God has given dominion over the earth.
Free will, my friend.
God has given us the freedom to choose our own path. There is no need for the great fictional being of Satan.
But thanks for propagating the medieval doctrines of Augustine and the evil medieval Roman church.
There is NO such thing as a great evil power named Satan to whom God has given dominion over the earth.
Free will, my friend.
God has given us the freedom to choose our own path. There is no need for the great fictional being of Satan.
But thanks for propagating the medieval doctrines of Augustine and the evil medieval Roman church.
Free will has nothing to do with the issue of whether Satan exists or not. The Bible reveals that he does exist. If you choose not to believe that, it does not alter the reality of his existence.
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
10,202 posts, read 7,926,708 times
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This thread is just too hilarious.
As are most threads that discuss, in any serious way, imaginary invisible entities, that have some participants discuss them as if they really existed in the most adamant manner.
Oh, and their call to authority is one of the most discredited compilations of an ancient desert wandering tribes tales.
Can't imagine the same discussion involving the Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood.
For a half an hour (I had the time to kill) I sat alone in my room just now and kept saying, "Come on, satan. I ain't afraid of you, baby. Show yourself to me. Come on. I'll take you on any day of the week, any minute of the day. Show yourself to me. Show me one of your demons. Don't be shy. Moderator cut: Orphaned Come on. Knock that empty glass over. I dare you. Go on. Do it and I'll believe in you."
This went on until I felt like an absolute idiot talking to myself.
Now you'd think with a gold-engraved invitation like that satan or someone would have showed up if they were there as the Bible says they are, all this "satan walks around like a roaring lion" stuff. But I didn't hear any roars--not even a meow.
If satan was real wouldn't he have paid me a visit?
Like I said. Pure mythology.
I thought you were maybe going to say "Your Mother In Law" showed up.... (I'm teasing)
You know there is an old joke about a man who was in Church one Sunday Morning and the Preacher was in the middle of his sermon when the doors of the Church flew open.
Fire and brimstone came flying into the Church, everyone started running toward the doors and screaming except for one old man, he stayed in his seat.
Satan had arrived and everyone in Church but this one old man was scared and running.
Satan went directly up to the front of the Church where the old man was sitting.
More fire and brimstone, Satan doing his best to scare the old man and make him go screaming.
The old man didn't move, didn't flinch and did not even look at Satan.
Finally Satan was so curious why the man did not run screaming, flinch or look at him.
So Satan said in his most evil voice to this man "Do you know who I am"
The old man didn't move but said "Yes, I know who you are".
Satan then said to the old man "Aren't you afraid of me? I can destroy you in a blink".
The old man finally turned his head, looked directly into Satan's eyes and said:
"I've been married to your sister for 49 years, what's your point"?
For a half an hour (I had the time to kill) I sat alone in my room just now and kept saying, "Come on, satan. I ain't afraid of you, baby. Show yourself to me. Come on. I'll take you on any day of the week, any minute of the day. Show yourself to me. Show me one of your demons. Don't be shy. Moderator cut: Orphaned Come on. Knock that empty glass over. I dare you. Go on. Do it and I'll believe in you."
This went on until I felt like an absolute idiot talking to myself.
Now you'd think with a gold-engraved invitation like that satan or someone would have showed up if they were there as the Bible says they are, all this "satan walks around like a roaring lion" stuff. But I didn't hear any roars--not even a meow.
If satan was real wouldn't he have paid me a visit?
Like I said. Pure mythology.
You are far more useful to satan when you're telling everyone he does not exist.
I thought you were maybe going to say "Your Mother In Law" showed up.... (I'm teasing)
You know there is an old joke about a man who was in Church one Sunday Morning and the Preacher was in the middle of his sermon when the doors of the Church flew open.
Fire and brimstone came flying into the Church, everyone started running toward the doors and screaming except for one old man, he stayed in his seat.
Satan had arrived and everyone in Church but this one old man was scared and running.
Satan went directly up to the front of the Church where the old man was sitting.
More fire and brimstone, Satan doing his best to scare the old man and make him go screaming.
The old man didn't move, didn't flinch and did not even look at Satan.
Finally Satan was so curious why the man did not run screaming, flinch or look at him.
So Satan said in his most evil voice to this man "Do you know who I am"
The old man didn't move but said "Yes, I know who you are".
Satan then said to the old man "Aren't you afraid of me? I can destroy you in a blink".
The old man finally turned his head, looked directly into Satan's eyes and said:
"I've been married to your sister for 49 years, what's your point"?
Good'un. Here's one:
Quote:
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"
God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."
On a more serious note, everybody is saying calling up satan proves nothing.
But don't satanists supposedly conjure up evil demons all the time in their black masses? Now I know darn well that if demons are out there it should be possible to make them appear. Or is that just more mythological baloney? And if demons simply don't ever appear visibly at any time then what's all this salami about satan roaming around like roaring lion seeking whom he may devour? Sounds to me like he's more like a toothless lion with no claws--in other words, completely harmless.
Be that as it may, I ain't afraid of that ol' debbil man, not for one second! Let him come around here. I'll beat him over the head with his own pitchfork. He'll run out of this house so fast he'll forget to take his tail with him, you can bet by golly!
Seth Andrews explains a challenge by his former employer because his ex-boss thought he REALLY BELIEVED but he was only fooling himself. The entire presentation is great but start at 45:25 to hear the challenge.
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(I'm teasing)
