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Yeah, you're probably right. I guess I'd be afraid of the damage I might do to the relationship by waiting 2 or 3 years before having sex. It seems to have worked well for you. In the few relationships I've been in, there seems to be a need for escalation to maintain a spark.
I wish this wasn't the case, but most people seem to just get bored and leave if you don't keep escalating what you're doing with them. (Not sure how this will workout in marriage )
Well, I can say that my marriage was damaged by being forced to wait until the wedding night. Ironical since we were getting married because she was already pregnant! I refused to desert my child that she was carrying and had to really push hard to convince her.
I am totally against this idea of no sex until marriage. But then I was slightly over sexed. Which might explain why I am now a great-grandfather!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
You equate your self worth with whether or not you have sex. Others do not.
Great answer.
It seems the repressed want to tell us that waiting a longer period before being sexually intimate is somehow a virtue.
If your lifestyles are compatible, if you're points of view on the world is compatible, and if you connect intellectually, why should you not be connecting physically.? Both parties will know in a relatively short period time if they seem to agree on those first issues, and as we are all adults, I certainly see no reason to hold back on being sexually involved earlier rather than later.
Now if I don't connect with you intellectually, we're not going to be intimate.
When I was young I had the same question.
I resolved that God's approval is more important to me,
I stayed a virgin till I was married.
I have far less to loose, serving God, than taking the chance serving self, an loosing eternally.
on the other side of that . some one that does not value them self ,gives them self to any thing, like a test tube ,only a test tube can be washed and clean but a person once contaminated, has nothing to offer some one of value.
With me, I think it has less to do with moral law, and more do with trust. I figure I only want to have sex with someone (whether we have children or not, there is a risk of STDs) if I know we won't break up a week later. If we're married, it tells me we're committed to each other.
Surely you should get to know everything about each other before embarking on marriage, and sex is one of those things. It is crazy to leave it until you marry and then find you are compatible in that area. We were pleased our two married girls lived with their partners for a couple of years first before they married. They knew what they were taking on, one has been married nearly 18 years the other 16, which is pretty good going these days.
Well, I can say that my marriage was damaged by being forced to wait until the wedding night. Ironical since we were getting married because she was already pregnant! I refused to desert my child that she was carrying and had to really push hard to convince her.
I am totally against this idea of no sex until marriage. But then I was slightly over sexed. Which might explain why I am now a great-grandfather!
This is sort of confusing :P
Your marriage was damaged by not having sex, but you rushed into the marriage because she was pregnant with your child?
You equate your self worth with whether or not you have sex. Others do not.
Worth does not equal respect.
I highly doubt that it would only take three dates to know enough about a person to be intimate with them. I don't place physical gratification so high that it is before a deep understanding of another human being.
It's the modern attitude that sex is the pinnacle of a relationship that causes many of societies issues: stds, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, domestic violence, divorce, to just name a few.
Four dates, being generous with time that's sixteen to twenty hours of knowing someone and you think it's normal to be having sex? That is equivalent to being on a job for three days and being ready to sleep with a coworker.
It seems the repressed want to tell us that waiting a longer period before being sexually intimate is somehow a virtue.
If your lifestyles are compatible, if you're points of view on the world is compatible, and if you connect intellectually, why should you not be connecting physically.? Both parties will know in a relatively short period time if they seem to agree on those first issues, and as we are all adults, I certainly see no reason to hold back on being sexually involved earlier rather than later.
Now if I don't connect with you intellectually, we're not going to be intimate.
Terrible answer, actually.
Having self respect doesn't make one repressed. That is the misogynistic cry of the rejected male.
I agree that if you connect that a physical step is a healthy part of a relationship. However, three dates as a rule of measure for intimacy is a joke. See my previous post on thoughts about that.
No sex no marriage. Why would I wait to have sex with someone & then find out that they are boring in the bedroom? I don't see the point in this, it's like buying a car & not driving it before hand. Maybe this is why you see so many people in the church whose divorced.
Sex was given to Adam and Eve -- it draws a couple together and it bonds them, in addition to procreation. So, it's to be done within the confines of marriage, nowhere else.
They weren't married I doubt they had sex while in the garden they did know what it was.
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Which might explain why I am now a great-grandfather! 
