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I would say working on one's self and self development. Then once the glass is half full, one can work on filling the glass beyond what they thought was ever possible. I'm in favor of positive psychology and figuring out what truly makes one happy and then working towards that. It does take work though and a lot of people don't feel they could change and are not willing to try.
Indeed if you think you "can't" change then it's difficult to see the value in any effort to do so.
My recent reading list includes a book called The Mindsets which goes into this in some detail, and is written by a researcher on the topic.
The basic proposition of the book is oversimplified for the sake of presentation. It suggests that you either think your attributes (strengths / weaknesses) are fixed, or not. A more balanced view, I'd think, is that self improvement is possible, but at a nonzero cost which may or may not look compelling over against sometimes uncertain benefits. So it comes down to a case-by-case basis in my mind, and even then, is a rather subjective exercise. I tend, though, to err on the side of effort, as I have found "always keep moving" a useful operating principle more often than not.
I used to be more of a glass-is-half-full guy in most areas but repeated leakage of said glass makes me more of a glass-is half-fillable-sometimes stance these days. It is irrational to ignore such inputs.
What would truly make me happy significantly depends in part on Other People and I have found them less than reliable in that regard. So I have focused on things I'm actually in control of. I curate experiences over relationships or possessions, for example. I expect people to be selfish, opportunistic and judgmental and when they occasionally aren't it's a found blessing to be celebrated. I see no value in possessions other than as tools to get a job done. But I get pretty reliable mileage out of my morning coffee, my daily walks, my professional activities, my occasional vacation travels, etc.
It is not as the OP suggests so much a matter of pervasive indifference so much as focused indifference. I am indifferent to things that have a strong demonstrated tendency toward flakiness; I focus my passion on things that have demonstrated dependability. Despite the absurdity of life, there ARE things that reliably provide return on investment.
A practical example from yesterday: my wife asked me my recollection of a certain event a couple of years ago. I provided it. She corrected me as she remembers it totally differently. I would have been invested in the need to be right here in the past. Not so much for its own sake, but to validate my own sanity. I have a VERY clear recollection of the event in question, I would have given sworn testimony about it. Still would, after sleeping on it. Also, she's about to make some unfortunate assumptions based on a mis-recollection of events, and as her husband, I am naturally interested in sparing her the trouble.
This would in former times have resulted in an unpleasant argument; as it was, I merely pointed out that as she already knows the answer I cannot possibly contribute anything by addressing it. Problem solved. It just isn't worth making right.
I don't think this is pessimistic, it is just picking your battles. I am willing to die on fewer and fewer hills these days. I do not insist on having anything to contribute, or to be given credence. People do not want what I have to contribute, by and large. And that's fine. The feeling's mutual. And despite how it sounds, I say this with no bitterness. I'm just pragmatically responding to my consistent experiences, which results in peace of mind, less "territory" to "defend", etc. In short, it reduces the profile of my ego and allows more conflicts to pass through me without resistance. It's no longer my job to spare others the consequences of their own thinking. They can't learn anything second-hand from me, for the most part, anyway.
Indeed if you think you "can't" change then it's difficult to see the value in any effort to do so.
My recent reading list includes a book called The Mindsets which goes into this in some detail, and is written by a researcher on the topic.
The basic proposition of the book is oversimplified for the sake of presentation. It suggests that you either think your attributes (strengths / weaknesses) are fixed, or not. A more balanced view, I'd think, is that self improvement is possible, but at a nonzero cost which may or may not look compelling over against sometimes uncertain benefits. So it comes down to a case-by-case basis in my mind, and even then, is a rather subjective exercise. I tend, though, to err on the side of effort, as I have found "always keep moving" a useful operating principle more often than not.
I used to be more of a glass-is-half-full guy in most areas but repeated leakage of said glass makes me more of a glass-is half-fillable-sometimes stance these days. It is irrational to ignore such inputs.
What would truly make me happy significantly depends in part on Other People and I have found them less than reliable in that regard. So I have focused on things I'm actually in control of. I curate experiences over relationships or possessions, for example. I expect people to be selfish, opportunistic and judgmental and when they occasionally aren't it's a found blessing to be celebrated. I see no value in possessions other than as tools to get a job done. But I get pretty reliable mileage out of my morning coffee, my daily walks, my professional activities, my occasional vacation travels, etc.
It is not as the OP suggests so much a matter of pervasive indifference so much as focused indifference. I am indifferent to things that have a strong demonstrated tendency toward flakiness; I focus my passion on things that have demonstrated dependability. Despite the absurdity of life, there ARE things that reliably provide return on investment.
A practical example from yesterday: my wife asked me my recollection of a certain event a couple of years ago. I provided it. She corrected me as she remembers it totally differently. I would have been invested in the need to be right here in the past. Not so much for its own sake, but to validate my own sanity. I have a VERY clear recollection of the event in question, I would have given sworn testimony about it. Still would, after sleeping on it. Also, she's about to make some unfortunate assumptions based on a mis-recollection of events, and as her husband, I am naturally interested in sparing her the trouble.
This would in former times have resulted in an unpleasant argument; as it was, I merely pointed out that as she already knows the answer I cannot possibly contribute anything by addressing it. Problem solved. It just isn't worth making right.
I don't think this is pessimistic, it is just picking your battles. I am willing to die on fewer and fewer hills these days. I do not insist on having anything to contribute, or to be given credence. People do not want what I have to contribute, by and large. And that's fine. The feeling's mutual. And despite how it sounds, I say this with no bitterness. I'm just pragmatically responding to my consistent experiences, which results in peace of mind, less "territory" to "defend", etc. In short, it reduces the profile of my ego and allows more conflicts to pass through me without resistance. It's no longer my job to spare others the consequences of their own thinking. They can't learn anything second-hand from me, for the most part, anyway.
Interesting book. I used to be more of a fixed type of guy, but had a shift in my "mindset" almost accidentally without a lot of work. And after that happened, I was willing to put in a lot of work to try to improve myself. Most things don't stick, but when something does it's pretty neat.
My wife gets a little nutty at times too and I struggle giving up control when she seems irrational and could likely lead to a negative outcome. Definitely good to pick your battles but to also figure out what things are important to you in a friendship and what both sides bring to the table. Reliability and intelligence are two important things for us and I'm friends with some people way more intelligent and 1,000 times more successful professionally than myself. So I won't bring the same professional drive or success, but I'll actually bring sort of the opposite (non-mainstream, desire for adventure, some humor) which I believe they find valuable.
Life is a crapshoot, and that is a fact. Every day could be our last. We mitigate this possibility as best we can by attempting to make sound choices. And by "sound choices" I mean choices that seem to give us the best chance of surviving until tomorrow based on reason and observation. As opposed to making life choices based on unfounded assumption and subscribing to make believe. For example:
Tue, May 16, 2017
Pastor attempting to walk on water like Jesus is eaten by crocodiles
A PASTOR attempting to demonstrate God’s power by walking on water has been eaten by crocodiles.
Jonathan Mthethwa was killed by three crocodiles as he carried out a religious demonstration in Zimbabwe.
Shocked witnesses said the clergyman had “prayed the whole week” before the stunt went tragically wrong.
He had also fasted in the lead-up to the attempted miracle, which was inspired by a Biblical tale of Jesus walking on water during a storm.
Instead of a demonstration of the power of God, what the pastor actually accomplished was an example of the potential consequences of unquestioning faith and abject gullibility, and of believing in make believe.
Unquestioning faith and abject gullibility are one way nature has of weeding out those too unfit to be allowed to pass on their genes.
Not that people who do not subscribe to make believe are safe from the uncertainties of life. It's just that their odds of making it to a natural end are much better.
Did anybody nominate that guy for a Darwin Award? They give those out every year for people who improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it. He obviously qualified.
"Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C equals A, or… whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed.
Bad people are punished by society's law.
And good people … are punished by Murphy's Law.
So you see my dilemma."
-George, from the show 'Dead Like Me'
The danger of expectation is when its placed on other people.
In that case expectation is a reservation for resentment.
Did anybody nominate that guy for a Darwin Award? They give those out every year for people who improve the human gene pool by removing themselves from it. He obviously qualified.
His mistake was thinking he could wield God.
Spiritual Pride isn't deadly sin #1 by accident
"Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C equals A, or… whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed.
Bad people are punished by society's law.
And good people … are punished by Murphy's Law.
So you see my dilemma."
-George, from the show 'Dead Like Me'
With what we know, there isn't anything if we had a single field. Everything is a set of interacting fields. there isn't one thing that isn't. that means there isn't really volumes of life/non life. despite what some milli/fundy dopes would have one think.
"Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C equals A, or… whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed.
Bad people are punished by society's law.
And good people … are punished by Murphy's Law.
So you see my dilemma."
-George, from the show 'Dead Like Me'
Experience has taught me to look out for my interests, rather than expect it. Keeps me on my toes.
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