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Many young children cannot tell if they will be punished or praised for their behaviour by an unseen, omnipotent God. Some parents intuitively recognize this power and thus may be inclined to invoke a fear of God's wrath as they try to encourage their children to behave in specific ways. However, there may be a price to pay for taking this approach. According to extensive research carried out by two psychology professors—Bob Altemeyer and Bruce Hunsberger—children who grow up in fundamentalist families do tend to obey the authorities and follow the rules but they also tend to be self-righteous, prejudicial, and condemnatory toward people outside their group. They have an “us versus them” mentality that many will carry though out their lives. On the other hand, fundamentalist congregations experience a 50 percent dropout rate among their members.
…A punitive god, like a punitive parent, encourages children to internalize anxious and potentially destructive concepts. As negative beliefs develop, they too become embedded in the neuronal connections being formed in the brain, and this makes them difficult to relinquish later on in life.
Born to Believe, by Drs. Andrew Newberg and Mark Waldman
Last edited by Mattie Jo; 03-30-2009 at 06:17 PM..
Reality pushes us enough just for us taking into oneself an Ego. So we wish to find to some Conscious externally outside say consciousness or ego to be Responsible for the effective looking punishment, too late to our own control in there instead It's control. God is just the solution (if you like) that there exists some benevolent controler, some always aware controler for consulting the Existence of the basic Impression.
God never appears not to be in control; but how do we access Him directly? TO BE always in control. I have no past: I have a future. I had a past; the future can only be unchangeing. I am in the present out of control. The present must be controlled by ME.
People like to blame God for everything when, in fact, it's the parents who don't want any blame because they may not be perfect in the eyes of their children. If parents would stop lying to their children, be just in punishment, and lead them to be examples to others by kindness, generosity, love and understanding, then this world would be a better place to live in. I've never lied to my son, never spanked or hit him, never shown him anger nor has he seen violence. He is the most loving, generous and understanding person I know. He acts better than most people I know. And he's only 16. He knows all of my faults and we enjoy being around each other. I can spend a day with him and his friends and fit right in and vice verse. What a wonderful world this would be if parents learned from their children!
People like to blame God for everything when, in fact, it's the parents who don't want any blame because they may not be perfect in the eyes of their children. If parents would stop lying to their children, be just in punishment, and lead them to be examples to others by kindness, generosity, love and understanding, then this world would be a better place to live in. I've never lied to my son, never spanked or hit him, never shown him anger nor has he seen violence. He is the most loving, generous and understanding person I know. He acts better than most people I know. And he's only 16. He knows all of my faults and we enjoy being around each other. I can spend a day with him and his friends and fit right in and vice verse. What a wonderful world this would be if parents learned from their children!
I wish there were more like you.
What is that saying about religion--possibly one of Mark Twain's remarks--'Some have too much and some too little' and very, very few regardless of how long they study it/live it seem to be able to completely apply it to every day life--through no 'fault' of their own --or so it seems to me.
Paradoxes. Perfectionism, morality, tolerance--I could go on.
Many young children cannot tell if they will be punished or praised for their behaviour by an unseen, omnipotent God. Some parents intuitively recognize this power and thus may be inclined to invoke a fear of God's wrath as they try to encourage their children to behave in specific ways. However, there may be a price to pay for taking this approach. According to extensive research carried out by two psychology professors—Bob Altemeyer and Bruce Hunsberger—children who grow up in fundamentalist families do tend to obey the authorities and follow the rules but they also tend to be self-righteous, prejudicial, and condemnatory toward people outside their group. They have an “us versus them” mentality that many will carry though out their lives. On the other hand, fundamentalist congregations experience a 50 percent dropout rate among their members.
…A punitive god, like a punitive parent, encourages children to internalize anxious and potentially destructive concepts. As negative beliefs develop, they too become embedded in the neuronal connections being formed in the brain, and this makes them difficult to relinquish later on in life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie Jo
Born to Believe, by Drs. Andrew Newberg and Mark Waldman
You of course know that psychology is not considered valid by most fundies. They usually assign learned traits to demonic possession.
The also have Christian counseling who's practitioners usually do not have any valid form of psychology training.
One need only look at the ones that try and pray gays straight and the damage they have wreaked. Many of these counselors are results orientated and not people orientated.
There is no getting around that--'wisdom'/judgment--requires some discussion.
With all the training in the world--this becomes very complicated. Platitudes don't really 'help'--that's about all I know. 'The world is not fair'--'Stand up for yourself' --yes, you can find 'Everything' in the Bible.
It Creates a Mentality of Fear based faith, a type of religion where God is just the lesser of two evils.....
On one hand God is perfect and since we are not perfect we are therefore failrues, like the horned guy......
The ALL OR NOTHING thinking that is so inclusive of those types of groups does lead to a high degree of mental illness, most untreated and undiagnosed as "God's Will"
We need to revise "perfectionsim" and ask at what point does "Perfectionism" in and of itself become a contributor or a symtom of mental illness?
We need to revise "perfectionsim" and ask at what point does "Perfectionism" in and of itself become a contributor or a symtom of mental illness?
Right before you have children!! I was a perfectionist before i had my son. Everything in it's rightful place, had to do everything just right. While I was pregnant, I decided I needed to learn to be messy because I just knew my child would drive me nuts because children are messy. Well, I spend a couple of weeks letting things go. No doing dishes, letting the laundry pile up and just trying VERY hard to ignore it. I accomplished not being that way and now I am soooooo glad I did. I would have been in a loony hosptital if i hadn't changed my ways!!!
Now I see others who are perfectionist and I know it drives them crazy if something isn't right because I know how they feel. I'm just glad I'm not like that anymore!
All kidding aside, we have created a world where we have to be perfect in everything. In order for us to get out of it, we have to live simply instead of always in a rush or always having to be the one knowing it all. Live for each other instead of seperate.
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