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Honestly, OP, there is nothing you can do for them. Maybe suggest that they purchase a really cheap old travel trailer and stay in a campground.
Tell them right now that they are not moving in with you. I suggest that you don't even allow them for "the first night" while they move. I suspect that once their foot is in the door, you will have a hard time making them move back out.
I suspect that you are worried about them too much. They are self-entitled users and that type usually figres out some way to game the system. You just have to prevent them from gaming your family.
My Mil is definitely a manipulator, but my FIL is just along for the ride. His father was a multi millionaire, so any time they needed money he would help them out. When he died 9 years ago, he left them 400,000. I begged my Mil and FIL to pay of their house (they had just refinanced again and were back to square one ) My father was an extremely successful realtor at that time. He was in the top 1 percent for the entire state. They spoke to him about doing a massive 100k edition. Keep in mind their house is 800sq feet, along with every other house in the neighborhood. My dad told my Mil "if you improve your house to that extent, no one will ever want to buy it". She lost it and started telling him it's her money and he didn't know what he was talking about. My dad refused to work with her because he didn't need to be abused by this woman child.
That 400k is all gone and theres nothing to show for it. Mil claims it all went to medical bills, which I doubt. No gambling problems, so I don't know how you blow 400k? His insurance premium was 2k per month for a long time thru cobra. I assume they have an out of pocket max?
I could give them 100k (which I don't have) and they would be bsck to this point within a few years. Last month they told my 6 year old they "couldn't afford to take her out for ice cream", but some how can afford a carton of cigarettes a week plus a box of wine a day. It's 9am here, which means Mil is probably onto glass 2 by now
They can check out local HUD housing its like Its not section 8 BUT you/they apply to apts that go by their income 30%.
My son went thru this just 2 days before Fore Closure the Local HUD apts got a apt for us. Without the fore closure Notice in hand they couldn't help. BUT just 24 hours after we moved to the apt the Home was sold to a [dare I say] Slumlord! The mortgage co knowing the guy would buy it did a quick hold & a week later my son home sold for what he owed! Win-Win
So call around about HUD apts that go by income Take the for Closure notice & All Current Proof of income, etc Hopefully they to can move into an apt right away!
I think you should help them start to research low income housing, or even affordable senior housing. Their may be a waiting list....But your FIL medical issues might help put them closer to the top of the list. You should be able to find out by calling their county housing office.
If they are over 55, you might try contacting senior services for their area.
Yes...Their income from SSDI would count. But, don't be afraid to check out senior based housing or apartments.
As far as their bills are concerned....Once they move into alternative housing....Go with them and talk to a bankruptcy attorney. I worked for years at a law firm (not an attorney) and bankruptcy is a great relief for folks in the position your folks are in. Plus they can discharge that house if they wind up still owing a balance.
Check in your parents state about your Mom possibly becoming your Dad's caregiver....Some states have these programs, and it is based upon your father's need...But you did say he is on disability...So it might be worth pursuing, and it would be a bit of help financially.
I think you should help them start to research low income housing, or even affordable senior housing. Their may be a waiting list....But your FIL medical issues might help put them closer to the top of the list. You should be able to find out by calling their county housing office.
If they are over 55, you might try contacting senior services for their area.
Yes...Their income from SSDI would count. But, don't be afraid to check out senior based housing or apartments.
As far as their bills are concerned....Once they move into alternative housing....Go with them and talk to a bankruptcy attorney. I worked for years at a law firm (not an attorney) and bankruptcy is a great relief for folks in the position your folks are in. Plus they can discharge that house if they wind up still owing a balance.
Check in your parents state about your Mom possibly becoming your Dad's caregiver....Some states have these programs, and it is based upon your father's need...But you did say he is on disability...So it might be worth pursuing, and it would be a bit of help financially.
Good luck to you
Appreciate all the info. I told her many times about the care giver position but she always brushed me off. I will try once more but be a bit more forceful. It's just pathetic that I have to do all the legwork for her. If my FIL was not in the picture I would let my Mil go into the streets, but my FIL needs help due to his confused condition.
I'm in subsidized senior housing. Because they are over 62, they qualify for the max opportunities. The wait lists are not long everywhere. I got on lists here in CA, and I did have to move away from the SF Bay Area because the lists were too long, that I couldn't afford what was available.
So, I got on lists farther away, in several cities. One could take me in about 3 months, another it took maybe 6 (I moved into that one). Then, decided that area was too hot, so got on another waiting list for the place I'm in at the coast in August, and moved in here end of November - so 3 months to get in here.
They normally say it's 8 - 12 months, then they call you sooner. Of course, you can't be in the most highly-desirable area to get in quickly.
It's best to get on a waiting list for places that are in a city or county that have an open Section 8 waiting list. They will get a priority for all waiting lists - housing and the Section 8 list - because of the husband's being disabled. Once they are local, they get another priority for the Section 8 list. I got on the Section 8 list in my new town in August, and I got my voucher in March. I live in the north pole as far as California goes, LOL, so that's why it's faster to get in here. I love it here, but most people want to be in the bigger, warmer areas.
So, the place to start is by going online or calling the housing authority for cities and counties where they might want to live, and asking them for a list of subsidized housing. Online this is usually a PDF file, or they can mail you one. Then, you have to actually call each and every one to ask if they have an open waiting list and ask them to mail an application. It's tedious, but will pay off.
Also, in the subsidized housing, they are really lenient about bad credit. Ask them their requirements and criteria for screening. Since it's the government, they will have a printed list you can check. I feel confident their foreclosure and credit will not result in them being denied.
The wife will not be required to work, and their income is plenty. I make about $900/month and qualified based on my income and paid rent here initially of $335. With my Section 8 my rent is now $197. There are several different subsidies, normally, in the buildings/complexes, but what they will look at is that their income must be below a certain maximum. So, they're better off if Mom isn't working, honestly. She can always claim she can't work because she takes care of Dad. But, I really doubt it will come up.
Also, there is a federal program for electricity/fuel called HEAP, and they will probably get a credit paid to their fuel source (electric company?). I got a credit last year of $300.
They can get a "lifeline" cell phone or landline for really cheap, and/or they can get a senior/low-income discount on their phone bill and their electric bills.
The county may even provide a caregiver for free for Dad. This way he gets care, and they don't have too much income.
There are just so many programs for low income seniors out there. It's probably a blessing in disguise they lost the house. As long as they don't move in with you, eh? LOL.
^ thank you. The only problem I see is that they're in their early 50s, not 60s. My FIL is apparently collecting ssi early, due to his illness.
Mil had a job interview this week
First one in over 3 years. She said she nailed it, but it turns out she did not get it. She had 20 years experience, and could do the job with ease. She was fired from her last job (same type of work) for stealing from her company. I am 100% sure that's why she was denied, but not sure how they found out. She wants to sue her old company for "giving a bad recommendation and divulging info"...
I feel exactly the same, but my FIL is a great guy. He made mistakes with money due to growing up rich and thinking money grew on trees. But seeing him now is just sad. A year after brain surgery he was back at work. He took a low paying 12 dollar an hour job at the airport. He ended up getting fired because he couldn't mentally handle the job. It required a lot of attention to detail. Just sad seeing him in this position. My Mil is a mental midget, but my FIL is still a good guy. I'd hate to see him spend his last however many years in squalor..
^ thank you. The only problem I see is that they're in their early 50s, not 60s. My FIL is apparently collecting ssi early, due to his illness.
Mil had a job interview this week
First one in over 3 years. She said she nailed it, but it turns out she did not get it. She had 20 years experience, and could do the job with ease. She was fired from her last job (same type of work) for stealing from her company. I am 100% sure that's why she was denied, but not sure how they found out. She wants to sue her old company for "giving a bad recommendation and divulging info"...
I'm sorry, I was mixing up your post with someone else's in my mind. Woops.
But, disabled individuals and their families are also often allowed in most subsidized housing, even if they're age-restricted. So, when you check into it, ask them if they accept someone who is not 55 yet, but is disabled. Most will say yes. And when you look on the lists that say they are 55+ or 62+ facilities, but don't specifically list "and disabled," ask them anyway. Often, disabled are also allowed. There will be family subsidized housing they will qualify for, too.
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