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We moved to a new state and left the old life behind. Most of the family has passed, but we are within 35 miles of our grandchildren. We enjoy being together and also have our own time. We walk the dogs together, bike ride, visit with neighbors, but we also have our own friends, hobbies and interests. We travel in our RV, but a month is about our limit living in closed quarters. We are lucky in that we are best friends who might disagree, but never really argue.
We respect each other's "alone" time and do not make any decisions and/or plans without consulting each other. I think it is important not to take your SO for granted and respect each other.
Over the course of 25 years the ex and I decidedly grew apart and the fact that we had five children together didn't prevent a divorce, nor should it have.
Two years later I remarried. My wife was a former coworker and we knew one another for five years before I finally asked her out. She retired from our profession six year after we married and I continued to work for another six to make up some of the retirement funds I lost in the divorce. A year after my retirement we moved to a new state, away from family and friends and entirely on our own.
The move was a mutual decision presaged by my informing my wife, before we married, that I intended to retire to another state when the time came. She said she was in accord with that and proved it last year when we made the move.
I would have to say that now that we're approaching our 14th anniversary, we've drawn closer in many ways. We agreed on the move, agreed on the home we bought, have agreed on furnishing it to include art work and other appointments. We're very much in cinque, not just as involves us but also our individual yet joined families. Neither of us is particularly social, nor do we wish to be. We were good friends before we married and, thankfully, we still are. There just aren't any real issues. That makes for peace and contentment.
I think it depends how the realtionshipo starts out and continues thru the years. People can get closer or drift apart not acting until they realise life is getting shorter.There can also be a revealing event also.For my wife and I rertirement has brought us much closer but we always had common goals thru out our marriage.
As you have gotten older, have you grown closer to your SO or further apart?
Are your goals radically different? Are one of you content to live where you are now or do you want to move and other does not?
Is one of you more social and other just not?
In a word, yes.
I would say we're closer in many ways - from spending time together (going to shows, to kayaking, to simple things like grocery shopping together) to sharing many (but not all!) of the same views and opinions on a wide range of topics.
We both want to move, but we're both content to stay here until the local housing market improves.
My wife is more social, but that has always been the case.
I think that a couple who stays together forever (we'll hit 35 years in October) is a couple who was blessed with common interests, dreams, and goals early on ... that, and certainly some luck as well.
Since long before we were married, I have thought of my wife as my best friend, and that is more true today than ever, and will be even more true tomorrow.
Green Gene:
That's how I feel about my husband. We were friends first. In fact, I really liked him and I felt connected but I couldn't tell anyone. (I never told anyone my birthday yet he had the same one but he didn't know when mine was until we were dating - and it was hard to tell him).
(Since the age of 13, I have always gotten very sad around the time of my birthday - kind of like, another year gone, what do I have to show for it; that type of thing - it takes me a while to get over it, actually). I know, it's stupid, I know.
Green Gene:
That's how I feel about my husband. We were friends first. In fact, I really liked him and I felt connected but I couldn't tell anyone. (I never told anyone my birthday yet he had the same one but he didn't know when mine was until we were dating - and it was hard to tell him).
(Since the age of 13, I have always gotten very sad around the time of my birthday - kind of like, another year gone, what do I have to show for it; that type of thing - it takes me a while to get over it, actually). I know, it's stupid, I know.
Well,m Bette, somewhere I heard that the more birthdays you celebrate, the longer you're likely to live!
As you have gotten older, have you grown closer to your SO or further apart?
Are your goals radically different? Are one of you content to live where you are now or do you want to move and other does not?
Is one of you more social and other just not?
I would have to say futher apart, ajusting to retirement has not been easy, when one works and the other is 8 years younger and still working.....Maybe I could find a rich widow and solve all my problems....
I married my husband at age 48 and he was 51. So we'd already raised our own kids so we didn't do the parenting thing together. We retired at the same time, then had a 2 year 'adventure' in Africa. Aside from his getting a bit underfoot when I try to clean the house, we're doing great.
For me, she is 61 , I am 69. I want to do a reverse mortage, she is not old enough by one year. Also, the amount I would receive will be a lot less next year when she is old enough. Does not seem right to me. I am being discriminated against because of age. Building a new house, short on funds, we argue a lot about money. ( building with earnings, not savings, no loans). been 3 years now, and not done yet. Its frustruatring. We are and always have been self employed. Spent our retirement long ago, having fun and traveling the world. It was a great ride, but now , not so much fun anymore.
Darstar - just seeing when someone's goals are different - it can make a difference.
I just don't know when and if retirement will come our way - I have my feelings and I try to express them and usually what I end up doing, he always thinks it's a great idea.
For example (not now) but one of my goals is to have a second home somewhere. Now, we're not even close to being ready on that but it's on my 5 year plan.
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