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Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,723 posts, read 58,067,115 times
Reputation: 46190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
.. have you grown closer to your SO or further apart? goals radically different? Are one of you content to live where you are now or do you want to move and other does not?
I think you're experiencing some of those 'road-blocks' on the way of life.
Could be precipitated just by the discussion of moving, some folks are not too comfy having disruption or even discussing it.
I would work on this in a non-confrontation way, nothing to get too uptight about or rush to any judgments. It is possible to diverge with out dissecting.
It is worth talking about in a 'productive' way and can likely be resolved quite easily (much more so than the alternative).
I think it is fine to keep some healthy 'space', and respect / trust. Avail that option to each.
That may include separate vacations and extended 'holidays'. This will vary by couple, but I'm not into 'clingy' stuff.
I sure wish we (USA) had the health of relationships that much of the work enjoys. It is always interesting to see the 'guys & gals' enjoying each other TOGETHER and SEPARATE in Europe and Asia, where in USA if we join / hug / contact we are thought to be "SO's"
Everyone needs their own space... Grandpa had his barn and sale auctions, Grandma had her 'quilting' or 'lady's "circle".
Sometimes you do grow apart, but not to be 'separate', just to seek peace / personal growth. There is still a 'deep relationship' to be enjoyed together.
have fun together, have fun apart, but lets have some FUN
Last edited by StealthRabbit; 06-14-2010 at 05:55 PM..
Just when you see a couple that has it all and has been married for 40 years, it makes you think about what each one wants. I have a feeling Mrs. Gore wants to be around her children while constant travel and challenges appeal to Mr. Gore.
I was just wondering how many others fell into that type of situation and if they felt not as close as children left or if they moved away from friends and family - things like that.
My husband likes a challenge and will be working for a while. I personally think both of us need challenges in our life (work related) and I think both of us like to be needed.
As you have gotten older, have you grown closer to your SO or further apart?
Are your goals radically different? Are one of you content to live where you are now or do you want to move and other does not?
Is one of you more social and other just not?
Kind of a "heavy duty" question for the Retirement Forum.
I'd say that our relationship has been good and/but evolving as we get older. Close or further apart is a tough question, relationships have vast multiple aspects so I'd say it somewhat changes as opposed to getting close or far. Close could also be viewed as "clingy", while far could be viewed as "distant and cold". We don't fall in either camp there (well, my wife might disagree but she hates posting forums, so we won't know her point of view).
As far as location, our decision on where to live was based on what is in the best interest of our handicapped daughter, so we were both in relative agreement on location. Even if we had significant disagreements, and they do pop up occasionally, we could broker a compromise concerning where to live at all stages of our lives.
Might not be a very helpful answer to a rather difficult question.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,723 posts, read 58,067,115 times
Reputation: 46190
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
Just when you see a couple that has it all and has been married for 40 years, it makes you think about what each one wants. I have a feeling Mrs. Gore wants to be around her children while constant travel and challenges appeal to Mr. Gore. ...
My husband likes a challenge and will be working for a while. I personally think both of us need challenges in our life (work related) and I think both of us like to be needed.
Ha, you have a great advantage over 'the Gore's
Those who appear to have 'everything' do not "surprise".
They are both 'high-achievers' and are jocking for position to not be the under-dog. That scenario mostly applies to those who didn't grow up, or get their clock cleaned in Kindergarten. (and often times beyond)
I worked for a whole herd of momma's "Golden Boys" my entire career. They will be fighting for the top till the end, not realizing life is really just a game, and they are gonna lose eventually and frequently. (and potentially forever - too bad...) Why fan the flames when you are a loser like Al Gore . Kipper is probably no gem, but she's got bundles over Al. We all have plenty of dirty laundry
Keep challenged, but don't go at it against each other like a couple bull elk, both will end up maimed.
I see this same thing happen to some older couples who were trying to hold it all together while the kids were around, or when one of them becomes blatantly obstinate for no apparent reason, and won't come back to reality.
Interestingly this sometimes comes when the parent-of-a-spouse or an adult child dies. This is when you need some of that 'space' to get your head straight. Too many times friends / counselors think 'its over'. And encourage a split that naturally widens due to being separated (and vulnerable) in a time of need.
Just when you see a couple that has it all and has been married for 40 years, it makes you think about what each one wants. I have a feeling Mrs. Gore wants to be around her children while constant travel and challenges appeal to Mr. Gore.
Perhaps there is more to their story than would be apparent:
Star can exclusively reveal that the former Vice President was having an affair with Larry David's ex-wife — for the past two years!
In the June 28 issue of Star, we report that Al and Tipper's breakup didn't come as much of a surprise to one Hollywood player — Laurie David. Star has learned that Al has been having an affair with Laurie, who divorced Seinfeld creator and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David in 2007.
Perhaps there is more to their story than would be apparent:
Star can exclusively reveal that the former Vice President was having an affair with Larry David's ex-wife — for the past two years!
In the June 28 issue of Star, we report that Al and Tipper's breakup didn't come as much of a surprise to one Hollywood player — Laurie David. Star has learned that Al has been having an affair with Laurie, who divorced Seinfeld creator and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David in 2007.
HA! I was wondering when "the other woman" was going to show up! I wonder if this is true?
HA! I was wondering when "the other woman" was going to show up! I wonder if this is true?
Well, here is an extract from the Washington Post around the time the affair was rumored to have begun:
Crow and David (4/18, Nashville): Our other surprise was a visit by former Vice President Al Gore who sat and talked with us on the bus about what he hopes to see happen in this country as the stop global warming movement catches fire. Having the former Vice President visit was like having your dad show up for Father's Weekend at the sorority house. We were giddy with excitement and proud to show him our home away from home.
By the way, that is a direct quote, I didn't alter the part that states "stop global warming movement catches fire".
Anyhow, just to get back on topic for a moment, sometimes as you go through a long term relationship...things happen.
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Thinking about Al & Tipper Gore after 40 years....
. 
).
have a great advantage over 'the Gore's 
. Kipper is probably no gem, but she's got bundles over Al. We all have plenty of dirty laundry 
