Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Go if you wish---there's no real harm in going, as long as you realize time has passed, and people won't be the same as you remember them.
I discouraged my mother from attending her 40-50 year reunion, now I regret it. Old friendships could have rekindled, she was lonely after Dad passed away. the reason I discouraged it was because I knew other people about her age who went to such reunions, and felt depressed later. Those years were some of the best years of their life, those people stayed frozen in time in their minds. Then, they went back and found time had marched on, friends had become old, some had strokes, other illnesses, etc. so, I discouraged my mother from going (but she didn't have to listen to my advice)
Now I feel, just go! You might rekindle a friendship, might find an old flame, or, just an afternoon out. If it doesn't work out, so what? Just go!
You might try doing some "pre-game warmup" by checking out websites like Reunion.com, classemates, com, etc, see if you connect with anyone before just walking in cold, that could help you decide if its even worth your while to attend.
i appreciate your feedback as well as all of those who have expressed an opinion on this subject. i've decided not to attend the reunion primarily because i don't think it would be worth traveling some distance to see people in a contrived social setting whom i haven't cared about seeing for fifty years. i have, in the last two years, re-connected with three friends from high school and i have enjoyed these mini reunions and becoming reacquainted.
unlike your mother, high school years, though far from horrible, were no where near the best years of my life. i have, for example, many better memories and stonger connections with some people i worked with for over twenty years and i continue to see them a few times a year for what usually turns out to be an evening of memorable sharing. it is interesting how many people view high school years as golden ones, but i'm not one of them.
thanks for your thoughts.
I attended a private Catholic girls' school on a full scholarship. My class size was under 100, and I felt like an oddball among all the preppy girls from wealthy families. We've had a reunion of some sort every five years, and I've gone to most of them. I've had a successful career, still look darn good for my age, and feel on a more equal footing as I've gotten older. At our 25th reunion, we had a decent turnout, including some of the girls who were geeky or unpopular in high school. I noticed that the "popular" girls STILL didn't spend any time with the geeks. These days, we just have a general school reunion for the anniversary classes, which is good since none of us have to spend time organizing anything. Things I like about the reunion: Seeing who still looks good, who looks like an old lady, who turned out to be a lawyer after being an airhead in school, who's divorced a time or two, etc. Things I don't like about the reunion: Well, nothing. Some of the snobs are still snobs, but I just avoid them. It's one night, it's not far, it's a good dinner and I have fun.
I went to my fifth. It was pleasant enough. I remember thinking, "What an attractive bunch of men and women we are." High school for me was like having a job- it's your job to go to high school (at least enough to graduate, which I actually didn't do since I didn't show up enough, but they threw me a diploma anyway). The fact of high school was neither here nor there. I felt that any issues, if there were any, were dispersed with the fifth. Of note, a couple of friends bitterly and angrily didn't go, and I told them that if they went, they likely would let go of whatever their issues were about high school.
Since I don't have any ties to that area and am in touch with one friend from those days (and he's in a different graduating year), I have declined any other reunions. I did look on Facebook at some people whose names I vaguely remember, looked at who their friends were, and saw that a lot had friended each other, however, a lot stayed or returned to that suburb and had active lives there. I moved out for good at age 20. When my 25th came up,I wrote to the coordinator and asked him to take me off the list as it was a long time ago and I had no ties or particular anything about.
The one valuable thing (at the fifth) was having people you might not have noticed or you thought didn't notice you come up to you and tell you of some small memory or comment that they remembered or appreciated. That was neat, although I don't think it would happen some 40 years or so later!
And Ms. DD-S or whatever you call yourself these days- I still don't forgive you. Feh.
The one valuable thing (at the fifth) was having people you might not have noticed or you thought didn't notice you come up to you and tell you of some small memory or comment that they remembered or appreciated. That was neat, although I don't think it would happen some 40 years or so later!
You would be amazed at what people remember. I do think some people get nicer over time and possibly at they age or life happens, they realize the straight and narrow people weren't so bad.
My husband attended his last year and there were very few there, however, a couple of people he barely knew came up to him and really spent with him and he has developed some friendships there. His neighborhood where he grew up is mostly gone so when he meets someone from that time frame, it's just a nice memory for him.
He was in the band but did not consider him popular. His parents were very poor so he felt left out much of the time.
When he went to his first reunion, he took a girl who was very endowed (immature, I know) but he made his point. When we went to the 20th, that was a total blast. They had it in Miami Beach, 3 days and what a great time.
The 30th was disappointing, just not well planned, much further away.
I think he thinks of it as a chance to reconnect to a simpler, easier time when Miami was a different city.
I've never gone. Graduated HS in 1971 - so this year is the 40th. I am on the mailing list - so this year I did see who was attending...and I was shocked at how many names I actually recognized - from elementary school.
I live 1200 miles from the place I grew up in. I normally go back yearly for family - and this year my schedule just didn't coincide with being available. I must admit I am curious what happened to alot of the folks I went to school with.
But not enough to go. I DO still make contact with a couple of girlfriends.... I'm certain they will fill me in.
My older sister's HS reunion (her 50th) is this year as well. She has never missed any of them. Says it's a blast to reconnect - see who has passed and what people are doing.
Interesting topic, just went to my 40th last night. What a great time. I will have to admit I was nervous and apprehensive but it went great and I'm so happy that I attended. What I was most surprised about was that nearly everyone was very friendly and I do think that age creates nicer people!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Going to reunions
