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I did not have a successful career. It was an ongoing saga of bad bosses, poor choices, office politics, long periods of unemployment, financial problems and workplace conflict. Much of it was my fault but lots of it was just being at the wrong places at the wrong time.
At age 60 I was fired from a job that was not going well and tried like hell to get back in the work world but was unsuccessful due to ageism and a poor work history. To survive I went through savings and retirement accounts to make it until I could collect social security.
Now I am 62, have moved to a very inexpensive town and have a financial plan and money from a recent inheritance to survive until the lord takes me home. I am officially retired from the world of paid work!
But as I sit home and think about my life I wonder if I should be happy or sad about being retired. I always thought retirement should come after a long successful career and at a time of our choosing. But I was not successful at work, I was a failure. How can I enjoy my retirement when i still feel like such a failure for a terrible career and being forced to retire early because I could not find a job?
Anyone else face early retirement doubting yourself due to a tough work life?
Last edited by Forced to Retire; 10-14-2012 at 07:29 AM..
I did not have a successful career. It was an ongoing saga of bad bosses, poor choices, office politics, long periods of unemployment, financial problems and workplace conflict. Much of it was my choice but lots of it was just being at the wrong places at the wrong time.
At age 60 I was fired from a job that was not going well and tried like hell to get back in the work world but was unsuccessful due to ageism and a poor work history. To survive I went through savings and retirement accounts to make it until I could collect social security.
Now I am 62, have moved to a very inexpensive town and have a financial plan to survive until the lord takes me home. I am officially retired from the world of paid work!
But as I sit home and think about my life I wonder if I should be happy or sad about being retired. I always thought retirement should come after a long successful career. But I was not successful at work, I was a failure. How can I enjoy my retirement when i still feel like such a failure for a terrible career and being forced to retire early because I could not find a job?
Anyone else face early retirement doubting yourself due to a tough work life?
I think it would be safe to say that I retired after a relatively successful career. That being said, however, as with you, what's done is done and it's far too late to go back and change it. So what's left? Nothing more nor less than looking ahead and making the best of the current situation.
You can beat yourself up day and night over what could have should have might have been but what will that get you? That door is shut. Leave it that way. Concentrate on the window to your future, live as best you can and be happy with what you do have. If that proves to be insurmountable then I would suggest seeking some professional help. Life is far too short and to precious to live it filled with regrets.
One chapter of your life just closed while another chapter just opened.
You have a clean slate here. Find something you enjoy doing and go do it.
Look forward and not backwards.
I agree about the clean slate. Forget it and move on.
I was forced to retire, but after a pretty successful career. But it was too early for me--I was still at the top of my game, and wanted to work for a couple more years. The timing was wrong, job market was dead (2008), so I just shrugged and said, "I'm retired!" Although my retirement savings would have been larger if I'd put in two more years, I have no regrets.
Especially at the start of my retirement, I often looked back on my work life with regrets. I put in lots of hard work but failed to advance to the level I felt I should have attained. My salary and position was never up to my potential.
Now that I have been retired for nearly 2 years, I have less time and less interest in looking backwards. I have been very active in retirement including constant RV travel to many of our national parks and forests. In addition to travel, I am working on my photography skills and have amassed a huge archive of images. I am trying to decide if I want to go semi-pro with my photography or just enjoy being retired.
My advice would be to engage in activities that interest you. That might even mean getting some sort of job or retirement career.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyTexan
One chapter of your life just closed while another chapter just opened.
You have a clean slate here. Find something you enjoy doing and go do it.
Look forward and not backwards.
Do this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (several times per day or hour...if necessary)
We all have our stories.... I did 32 yrs at a GREAT company, only to have a new CEO come in and destroy the joint and culture and weed out 300,000 engineering / high pay jobs... I 'retired' @ age 49 w/ 32 yrs service, no pension, no Healthcare, and 800 hrs sick leave and 12 wks vacation 'stolen' by greedy CEO. (pre-her...Medivial History Major...., now aspiring politician)) we were guaranteed "pay-out' for earned vacation and sick leave... Things changed...not fair who knows.... I didn't have a CONTRACT for it... she did !! for her $14mil Golden Parachute...
so... since then... I have finished an undergrad degree, got a masters, applied for 10 zillion jobs, volunteered in 4 non-profits, and did several PT consulting gigs and LEARNED a lot... I'm not starving, I'm not rich, I'm definately not bitter, tho a bit disappointed that a sick spouse requires I find employement w/ HC, or move to foreign country with affordable care. (I'm fine with either choice). Life goes on... I'm Definately NOT of the Entitlement generation.
Go out, have a blast learning and experiencing life from a 'non-work / career' perspective. Go to a foreign country for awhile... that is good for and Attitude Adjustment... (I'm in China at the moment, GLAD I am not here ALWAYS and certainly glad I didn't grow up and do my career HERE)... but there are plenty of happy people.
Do volunteer work. I LOVE to help with elderly. They teach me alot (mainly to find some humor in our lot in life... it is NEVER ideal. (except for the silver spoon club... plenty of those, but NEVER me ))
There are lots of things better than work (no matter HOW good your job was). And there are A LOT of things WORSE than work..
Be Flexible, be Grateful, be engaged in life and fun to be around. Your old job is HISTORY and so are you... go make some more history and make this effort count for others. (It will never be enough to count for you... we are all too HIGH of expectations of ourselves... free yourself from that NOW! (sooner the better). BTDT
I would say now is the time to be relieved/happy that being at someone else mercy is over, gone, forgotten, bye bye.
Also you might consider a part time job to supplement your income. You might be very surprised what ones attitude can be working part time, not trying to get ahead, having a fall back monetary cushion, can walk out anytime you do not like the way things are, etc.
I might suggest retail. While it might only pay $8 to $10 per hour it is not money needed. Money liked and wanted yes but not money needed. That sheds a whole new light/attitude on it.
Reminds meof the lyrics to my favorite song from I believe the 20's.
Don't go round moping, hoping happiness will come,
It's not the way, it doesn't pay,
If you want happiness help yourself to some...
I'll be high in the sky, up on top of a rainbow sweeping the clouds away
I too fall into the catagory of working hard, never made much money. My boss retired and I was out of a job. Bad arthritis etc. I have regrets, but try to not let them interfer with my present and future.
Failure is relative. Look how long you were gainfully employed. Even very successful people often wish they would have accomplished more. It is just the way we are wired. Think of yourself as a rose that had to grow in a hard scrabble garden and might have looked a bit puny for a long time. Take you out of that mess (no more bosses!) and you can grow to be the beautiful flower you were born to be.
I agree with everyone - move forward - don't look back.
My husband has been unemployed and underemployed for over 20 years. His degree? Worthless. So he pursued sales - in high end electronics - which has been and up and down valley for a good long time.
When the frustration was the highest - we had to sit ourselves down and say "work does not define me". And - he was lucky I was employed and helped carry us through. It does not mean - that I saved his rear end.... because I could not have done it without him.
WORK DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.
Go and find something else that does.
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who knows.... I didn't have a CONTRACT for it... she did !! for her $14mil Golden Parachute...
))
