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I think this is very interesting/worth discussing (at least to me)--glad you posted.
As I look ahead (I'm in my mid-fifties), there are a number of options for future living situations, including the decision of whether owning or renting is better in any of these possible scenarios, and there is no clear front-runner yet for me (nothing, yet, where looking at pros and cons makes any one of the options stand out as the obvious choice).
So, it seems like I (and some others in a similar situation to me), while trying to be as smart as possible, are dealing with a somewhat risky decision no matter how carefully things are researched and weighed. In such a situation, it becomes partly a matter of analyzing in as much detail as realistically possible but then going with one's best bet/intuition (because there is no obvious "best choice")--and then hoping for some luck too (that one winds up with at least a middle scenario, not the worst case scenario, of how things might play out given whatever choice is made).
So I'm very interested in discussions like this. I like hearing people's personal experiences and also people's ideas/opinions/brainstorming. Of course many people are situated in a way that they already have a clear "best option" that they are (or are planning to) live out during retirement, but for others of us, it will be important to be informed and creative and try to anticipate our future needs accurately because we will be making some trade-offs.
Edit: Several people posted before me while I was writing this, glad to see others are also very interested in the topic.
I can relate to the comment about being a private person. I am too. What I thought of as I read this is a great roommate situation I had where my roommate, like me, was somewhat more of an introvert than an extrovert. When we did have a conversation, it was usually long and interesting, but we also both understood that most of the time we wanted our own space and solitude. I think we both valued those in-depth but occasional conversations and really appreciated and were supportive of each other as people, but would have felt very burdened (like our home was not a peaceful refuge) if we had felt obligated to touch base constantly.
I've spent some time reading condo/co-op/HOA documents, meeting minutes, newsletters, etc. online, and sometimes I think these places are more for people who want to be much more involved with the people around them on a daily basis (whether playing golf or cards, or battling out association issues) than I do. Yet I do value community--opportunities for people to share information, get together around activities they enjoy, volunteer to make things better around them, and hopefully have caring people around when they need them too. At some of the larger communities I've looked at (where there are enough people to have groups for even very specific interests), there are groups/clubs/activities where I know I'd enjoy meeting up with people who share my interests. But I'm not interested in taking up a new activity that I have no interest in other than that it's the recognized way of being social in a community of more typical size with just a few clubs/activities.
Something I wonder about is whether there could be be communities (or shared living situations, like the Golden Girls' home) of (or that make a place for) more solitary, private people. Maybe it's as simple a matter as wording your roommate ad and having advance discussions to ensure compatibility on that.
Last edited by City__Datarer; 06-24-2013 at 12:18 PM..
I think it would be great. For one thing, I feel wasteful living in my downsized space, but I wouldn't want to live in a smaller apartment. Sharing a large house seems like an ideal situation.
I will look at the website as soon as I have time.
I don't think of this as a way to avoid the nursing home. To me, its more about having a happier life in the years between then and now.
That is what hit me, as well, Boogie'smom. These are basically women who otherwise would be living alone -- this gives them a social structure and the power of combined resources.
I don't see one word of "long term care insurance " in the post. I do see another option for those older adults who do not have family or other close by people to care for them when they need extended help. Who can afford long term care insurance anyway? Certainly not the average retiree.
The "Golden Girls" sure had it made. It was a relationship that they all enjoyed and they all got along with little or no serious arguments. As for me, I would have a hard time with that. Heck, I never got along with my college roommates ! Always being a private person, I didn't entertain much and certainly didn't want to live with someone that I didn't know, unless they were intimately related to me. Have suggested this to my daughter and s i l, but they rejected the idea. On second thought, we would probably not get along anyway.
That's the thing. I would have to have plenty of my own space, uninterrupted and off to myself. In addition, I would need to have things very clearly outlined as to who is contributing what and who is doing what chores, etc.
The way I could see this working for me, should I find myself alone (and women typically do) . . . is to have it more like a "boarding house" - each person paying x amount to me, as owner, lol. I would have to carefully think about kitchen issues, too, and who is cooking and cleaning, etc. I would rather be in charge and do it all (or hire some help) and provide a nice atmosphere for everyone, while also having my own quarters where I didn't have to socialize if I didn't want to.
I think I have control issues, too. Unless it is more like a B&B (and I am in charge) I don't think I would be very compatible for this type of arrangement. But this article sure has me thinking about the possibilities and how it could work.
Roommates isn't something new even in elderly. Golden girls is about elder roommates.
True - it isn't a new concept.
Seeking others out specifically because of age and compatible life interests, and combining resources, isn't as common an arrangement, though, as college roommates.
Now, many people have chosen to "rent out a room" or basement, garage apartment, etc. . . . but this is more a communal arrangement, if I read it correctly.
OK, so I read the article and now think maybe it would work if we were not "joined at the hip." But what about the old men? Where do they go? I don't see any Golden Boys programs? Or do they just try to hook onto a woman who will take care of them in their twilight days? HA ! I avoid them like the plague.
Hee Hee. Yes, maybe they just need a "Hook Up" site, lololol.
<sorry guys - we just couldn't help it!!!>
I would avoid men who seem needy, too! Really, at any age!
Anifani: I did email the website and asked them exactly the questions you posed. How would you choose the housemates and what if someone didn't work out? Who would pay the mortgage and expenses and would it be equal? What if someone had an altercation with another person? Who would figure it out? Would the state require it to be a "group home", which here in AZ, means alot of paperwork. Ideally it sounds like a great idea, but afterall, the Golden Girls was a TV show.
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All for it....
