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Old age is when a woman buys a sheer nightie and doesn't know anyone who can see through it!
At eighty, there are six women for every man. What a time to get odds like that!
The best time for men to have babies is when they're eighty. That's when they have to get up ten times a night anyway!
An old maid was complaining to the police about an obscene phone call. "For an hour and a half", she said, "he kept saying the filthiest things he wanted to do with me!"
An optimist is a ninety-year-old man who gets married and looks for a house near a school!
At our age even our birthday suit needs ironing!
We're at the age when everything is starting to click - our knees, our elbows, our neck....
One ninety-year-old man married a woman of the same age. They spent their honey-moon trying to get out of the car!
An eighty-year-old man was having trouble with his left ear so he got a neighbor to drive him to the doctor, who found and removed a suppository from the ear. The man asked if he could use the office phone and called his wife at home: "Honey, you can stop looking for my hearing aid; I've got a pretty good idea where it is."
Old age is when a woman buys a sheer nightie and doesn't know anyone who can see through it!
At eighty, there are six women for every man. What a time to get odds like that!
The best time for men to have babies is when they're eighty. That's when they have to get up ten times a night anyway!
An old maid was complaining to the police about an obscene phone call. "For an hour and a half", she said, "he kept saying the filthiest things he wanted to do with me!"
An optimist is a ninety-year-old man who gets married and looks for a house near a school!
At our age even our birthday suit needs ironing!
We're at the age when everything is starting to click - our knees, our elbows, our neck....
One ninety-year-old man married a woman of the same age. They spent their honey-moon trying to get out of the car!
An eighty-year-old man was having trouble with his left ear so he got a neighbor to drive him to the doctor, who found and removed a suppository from the ear. The man asked if he could use the office phone and called his wife at home: "Honey, you can stop looking for my hearing aid; I've got a pretty good idea where it is."
An eighty year old wife commented to her husband that their sex life had become nonexistant. "Remember when we used to eat breafast in the nude? Let's try that again and see what happens." So they threw off there cloths and sat down for breakfast. "I think it's working", she said, "my breasts are feeling hot". Her husband peering over his bifocals stated matter of factly, " That's cause you have one nipple in your oatmeal and one nipple in your coffee"
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Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
