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In certain circumstances, there is a financial advantage of a legal marriage.
Certainly true and by the same token for certain widows/widowers in particular economical circumstances it could definitely be a disadvantage. So many different scenarios and outcomes are possible.
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Originally Posted by marcopolo
There is a saying among sportsmen on the great plains, "If it floats, flys, or f*ks you are better off renting."
I am in a caregiver role 40 years in, and I have the sense that I will be pretty much used up for that kind of duty. I might try to get out and get some exercise, but marriage? Nope.
Forty years of caregiving will certainly wear even the best of us completely out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VJDAY81445
I wonder what percent of women who remarried after the death of a spouse said.........."no way "....while their husband was still living.
I could be wrong but for some widows the husband may have passed away suddenly and unexpectedly so perhaps the conversation never came up; no opportunity for negative memories and/or lingering negative sentiments.
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12
Many older women have a tough time finding men to date.
Quite honestly I never found this to be the case (concerning "finding men to date") but surprisingly what I discovered is that there were vast differences between divorced men and widowers. The divorced men seemed more anxious to find "the one" and remarry and the widowers, not so much; I can't explain it really. What do I know?
The few happiest-married people I know are those who remarried after their spouse died, or who speculate that they would marry again. I know far more sort-of happily and unhappily married couples; the wives say they would never remarry again, ever. They say it vehemently! So I guess it's a compliment when a husband or wife remarries. They had something so good they want it again. Others say they had it so good that it could never be replicated and thus would not remarry, but I haven't personally come across that view.
Been married coming up on 40 years and I could not imagine not being married or at least having a companion.
What I live for is making my wife laugh or giggle. At least once every day I want her to find something funny to at least smile about.
We do a lot of things together but we recognize as well some things I like doing she doesn't and the same goes for her. Not a problem, if I want to go look for dinosaur fossils in the middle of nowhere I don't expect her to want to go with me but if she does she is more than welcome. If she wants to go to a craft show, she is very crafty, she doesn't expect me to go knowing I'd rather chew my arm off than go.
We're companions, not Siamese twins.
But men die earlier. I know a lot of widows in our church but not a single widower.
Men tend to think women are the "weaker sex" because it has been ingrained into us for centuries but it's not true. Women are much, much stronger than men and they know it.. they just don't let us know they know.
Get married again? Maybe not, might be best to just live in sin because that avoids problems with the death of a spouse.
God forbid but let's say something happens to my wife. Shortly after I would start looking for someone but before I met her we each had lives with others... children and everything that goes along with that.
Live in sin... she'd keep her house and all her belongings and I'd keep all mine because if I die I want my children to get everything their mother and I accumulated over our lifetime and I am sure her children would feel the same. Saw it happen once; an older man and woman married after a previous life and children. When she died her the jewelry her first husband gave to her ended up in the possession of his children after he died. To me this would be unconscionable... my future companion and I might share a small joint checking account but that would be about it. Anything we did purchase together would be documented.
Nothing better happen to my wife is all I can say.
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