Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The phycological drugs they're taking are usually the root cause and directly related to the real health issues.
I have shown them the side effects of these drugs and I'm talking to a brick wall.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but you're as much as buzz-kill as they are.
Like you, I'm not keen on "modern medicine" or drugs. But if I tried to impose that view on my friends who complain of illness then I'd be no better than they are.
Believe and let believe, keep your mouth shut, and maybe your friends will return the favor.
In my opinion, listening is a gift. Treasure that. As someone said, when you get older you may wish for a listening ear. But for some of that time, I think it is okay to hear rather than listen. Get your housework done, etc. and there is no harm done. Your ears will perk up when you need to tune back in. Also, maybe have something interesting to say yourself.
Many elderly people spend a lot of time in Doctor's offices and, consequently, have little else to talk about. My mom, who is 86, is this way. When she goes off on a medical monologue, I try to change the subject and, if that doesn't work, I put the phone on speaker and go on about my business while I listen. She gets her human interaction and her chance to unburden, and I get my chores done.
This works because she lives in another state and we only see each other in person 2-3 times a year. Maybe you can communicate with your friends by phone more often instead of in person?
Agreed - for some folks, doctors offices become the daily replacement for work.
Since she a friend that you apparently care about - don't abandon her. It is tiresome, but just listen with half your mind and go "uh-huh" in the right places. My mother is like that and no matter how many times we tell her we don't really want to hear all the details, she still has to give us a blow-by-blow description of her doctors visits, treatments, medications, etc. She won't be around forever and it is a little enough thing to just listen (until she mercifully shuts her mouth) and we can move on to other things.
Your friend may appreciate your listening ear more than you realize and to her way of thinking, she is probably happy she has someone she can count on to listen to and understand her.
Or potty training! One of my least favorite things to hear over and over. Every age group has there thing
That's true!!!!!!! Same women after they have had their babies.
I remember a coworker being taken quite aback when one day she started on a regalia of her menstrual woes, LOL. I told her I didn't want to hear about them and walked away. When she brought it up again, I said something like "geez, we all have our own issues, I don't burden anyone with mine and I don't want to hear about yours". She did get kind of insulted by that, I think, but she never brought it up again not to me at least. The funny thing was that at that point I was going through menopause, fighting the hot flashes and mood swings, etc. and I am sure that is why I was impatient with this coworker whining about her periods. I hadn't mentioned this to anyone as it was happening rather early in my life ( as it seems to do with many women in my family), and I was more or less in denial, I think. At least I didn't want my coworkers to know I was that old!!!
In any case, for sure it isn't just old folks anxious to share their health problems.
All valid points.. I guess I needed to vent. No I won't be abandoning them. A couple of them I have just cut back my time with them.
Funny thing is since I was young I've always been around much older people than me. It just seems like for whatever reason I am meant to be around older people.
For what ever reason they're drawn to me.. They trust me! I suppose part was they way I was raised.
Respect your elders. Treat all people how you want to be treated.
Anyway, thanks for your comments.. Feel free to add more.
I get what you're saying...however, I could say the same about "grandkid" talk! Puh leeeze....your grandkids are great, but they can't ALL be above average - ha!
Or how about the ones who are always talking about their last and next vacation? My point is that all your friends have their "thing". Listen for a short while and then change the topic - as you do with all your friends when they go on and on.
I get what you're saying...however, I could say the same about "grandkid" talk! Puh leeeze....your grandkids are great, but they can't ALL be above average - ha!
Or how about the ones who are always talking about their last and next vacation? My point is that all your friends have their "thing". Listen for a short while and then change the topic - as you do with all your friends when they go on and on.
You are right to place this problem in a broader context. So many people, of all ages, seem to have an inability to summarize, so they include all trivial details in any story they are telling (whether related to medical issues or not), seeming not to realize that their listener(s) will not be interested in that level of detail.
It is a strange phenomenon, and I have encountered it among bright people as well as dull people.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but you're as much as buzz-kill as they are.
Like you, I'm not keen on "modern medicine" or drugs. But if I tried to impose that view on my friends who complain of illness then I'd be no better than they are.
Believe and let believe, keep your mouth shut, and maybe your friends will return the favor.
Come to think of it, there may be a possibility that the friend/loved one had not really heard that there was a recall on a particular drug for very adverse side effects. So this could be helpful.
It is a warning to us all: Yes, we will have ailments, probably very scary and serious ones, and yes, our friends and relatives should care enough to listen and commiserate.
BUT we should also take care to have some other topics of conversation, lest we become bores, as well as patients.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
