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Also, I think that there is more cost to raising a kid than the 'extra' expense cited in the child raising costs. Single or married with no kids can buy a house in a nice neighborhood with bad schools and a 1 bedroom house is all they need. With kids folks try to get better homes in better neighborhoods, parks, community events, etc. and larger homes, with room for kid activities--play room, pool, etc. So the housing costs are higher.
Without kids you can move as needed to take a promotion or better job. With kids, it does not happen as much, or is considered in light of the experience on the kids. Without kids a 2 year stint to a pit of a place to get experience and much more money in the future is fine, with kids, it is not. And the cost of moving with kids and their junk is much more than without the junk collectors
That said I am planning to retire in 2017 with two then just turning 14 year olds, and that is after raising 2 adopted special needs children to adulthood. I will be 57. So with or without kids, it can be done, just different pathways at times.
With 2 kids, we retired at age 49 as a single income blue collar earner. No Pension, No HC
Double income would have allowed us to retire before age 40.
College expenses
We homeschooled so I 'schooled' the kids to design, build and sell their own homes when they were age 13-15. By age 16 they were in FREE College (available in WA and HI). They made $70k each on their homes, which is good, cuz I paid ZERO for anything once they turned age 12 (age of accountability). They started their ROTH IRA's @ age 12 and each had $20k by the time college came. There were not impressed that I didn't contribute to their college financial needs. They grew up FAST and didn't bother to change their major (since they were paying). They also hammered the profs that refused to give good value for the high tuition.
BUT we are VERY fortunate: Impact of Children on Early Retirement Ability We have 4 'retired' neighbors raising their grandkids. One friend just got a brand spanking new baby (at age 63)... his daughter had the baby in prison, so she sent it 'home'.
Impact w/ kids can be HUGE! especially special needs / medical coverage
I worked with the elderly as a psychotherapist and I was amazed and equally disappointed by the number of elderly who were raising their children's children. This is a common occurrence in Baltimore where I live and practice. Family therapist have noted in the past of the structural changes this has created in the family and how harmful it can be to the children. In more recent times attachment therapist have attributed a significant increase in crime related to grandparents raising infants. They noted that the infant frequently experience this change as traumatic. That makes a lot of sense seeing that the child is part of the mother for nine months and in the very early stages of development they still view themselves as part of the mother. The infants view this change in caregivers as an abandonment by the mother. In general young children learn to cope with the absence of the mother gradually. The mother leaves the child periodically to cook, to do chores, to sleep and so on but usually returns when the infant starts crying. Over a period of time the child gradually learn to cope with the mothers absence.
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It sort of stings that people don't see the discipline it took and the time and energy to learn about investing (some good years in the stock market a long time ago didn't hurt either, I will admit). I've wondered if it's really true---and was interested to see this article:
From what I can see, not every childfree person/couple can retire early and it IS possible for parents to retire early. So I think we have to acknowledge that people spend and save/invest money differently and the presence or absence of kids is far from the entire story. Does anyone agree?
I do not want to dismiss your accomplishment, and I regret that I am once again going to be politically incorrect. Retiring early without kids is - as you say - an accomplishment in which to take pride.
Retiring early WITH kids would be soul-sucking, after having raised them with no sports, no tribe, and few memories (these all require cash). It would be a cold parent indeed who would eye the price of hair ribbons or a baseball glove, lest it cut into the early retirement fund. Kids would have been raised in a barren environment, IMHO - being considered "cost centers".
Few of us are capable of fielding the Stealth Rabbit child-raising enrichment program - which required that he work third shift to home school. If your daughters (for example) don't know how to actually DO anything that other kids do, guess what they'll be compelled to resort to doing with boys when they're teenagers? That is, instead of skiing, playing tennis, or whatever the kids do there. Devil finds work for idle hands.
To answer your question: yes, it costs a d*mned sight more to have kids than not, and to raise them to be fully functioning adults. To be able to converse on a variety of subjects with a variety of ages and occupations. To be able to carry their weight in a (name your sport) weekend.
How could anybody think otherwise? To have kids and not send them off capable is why those of us who work are compelled to support the teeming FSA.
Also, I think that there is more cost to raising a kid than the 'extra' expense cited in the child raising costs. Single or married with no kids can buy a house in a nice neighborhood with bad schools and a 1 bedroom house is all they need. With kids folks try to get better homes in better neighborhoods, parks, community events, etc. and larger homes, with room for kid activities--play room, pool, etc. So the housing costs are higher.
Without kids you can move as needed to take a promotion or better job. With kids, it does not happen as much, or is considered in light of the experience on the kids. Without kids a 2 year stint to a pit of a place to get experience and much more money in the future is fine, with kids, it is not. And the cost of moving with kids and their junk is much more than without the junk collectors
That said I am planning to retire in 2017 with two then just turning 14 year olds, and that is after raising 2 adopted special needs children to adulthood. I will be 57. So with or without kids, it can be done, just different pathways at times.
This is a most relevant post. And, God bless you. I am not cut from cloth to do something this selfless and have been consciously grateful my entire life my child was normal. .
This is the reality - whether the child is normal or special needs - raising children is so much more than money - it is time and physical, emotional and mental energy focused on their needs and development - an enormous personal responsibility. One can diligently attend to finances and investments - and should. But life gets in the way - saving for retirement is not the main goal when raising kids. One doesn't ignore it, but it's not the #1 priority.
And, then, as stated above, expensive housing decisions may be made exactly to enhance a child's opportunities in life. I've had three neighbors so far who've moved into our area specifically for the public schools. Property values and real estate taxes are high compared to what many on CD are faced with. We, in my area, are only outdone by those intrepid souls living in NY/NJ/MA etc. whose real estate taxes are easily double mine - in the five figures - mine are a mere $6k. When I read of taxes of a few hundred dollars or even $1k or thereabouts, I laugh.
Ironically, for almost his entire life, my son attended private schools. Which means I've always paid private school tuition in spite of my high property taxes. He was in Montessori from age 3 (he was reading before he was 4) until he was 12, three years public school 7/8/9th grades - a complete disaster due to teacher indifference (ex. I'd find out about homework not done 3 months after the fact) - and then four years (he repeated the 9th grade) in a Catholic high school where he did well. After that, University of WI for his degree.
Day to day life sets financial priorities. And, children come first. So, yes, it is harder to retire early with kids. But, if one is fortunate enough to be a dual income, high earning couple - say doctor/lawyer - not an impossibility by any means.
All that said, I was a single parent beginning when he was 10, and didn't always work full-time until he was age 16 - had real estate investments/rental income which relieved some financial pressure. In the end, I did work until age 67-1/2.
If you had a large family, it would be virtually impossible with your income level. Even then, I bet you lived in an average to below average cost of living area. You aren't raising five kids on $100k in a big metro and retiring at 52, no matter how frugal you are.
No kids here also. I retired at 55 with no pension on a lower middle class salary. I did without a lot of things to make that happen and am glad I did. Health issues made working increasingly difficult.
My personal take on people with kids is they use them as an excuse to not do things they don't want to do, rather like when I would tell someone as a teen my mom wouldn't let me do something when I really didn't want to do it.
Congratulations on your retirement. I know from personal experience how many brown bag lunches, putting up garden produce at the end of a busy day, 2nd hand furniture and clothes, camping instead of hotel vacations etc it took to get there..
From what I can see, not every childfree person/couple can retire early and it IS possible for parents to retire early. So I think we have to acknowledge that people spend and save/invest money differently and the presence or absence of kids is far from the entire story. Does anyone agree?
Based on our current financial situation, I'd consider ourselves pretty proficient in saving and investing. We have also raised one kid, sent her to both private/public schools, and put her through both college and grad school. So the remaining question is that whether we could have retired early.
I have not tallied up the expenses we spent on our daughter but considering the fact that we spent $10K/year for her private kindergarten, out-of-state college costing >$25K/year, and all the extras like piano, gymnastics, art camps, skiing/snowboarding/skating lessons etc, it is likely that we had spent >.5M on her. This estimate is not too far off on the current estimate of $455K to raise a child to the age of 18 in high income family in the Northeast
As another poster had pointed out, there was other cost associated with raising a child like living in good school district thus paying high property taxes. Other parents had also incurred expenses like having to own a mini van to chauffeur the kids around. Some hotels let kids stay free but only up to a certain age and there is no freebies or big discounts for air tickets, foods, admission fees so a family vacation definitely cost a lot more than just for a couple.
Bottom line is that I only partially agree with your assessment that not every childfree person/couple can retire early if they are not very good in saving or investing. Yes, it IS possible for parents to retire early but I'd wager that it takes more efforts and planning than for childfree couple. It also depends on personal preferences and life circumstances. We wanted her to have an enriched, happy childhood. We wanted our daughter to have the best education and learning opportunities. We wanted to launch her well into the world. She is now a happy, healthy, well-rounded and well-adjusted professional. We would not have traded an earlier retirement to not having a kid or not giving our kid the best that early retirement money could have spent on.
The presence or absence of kids is not the entire story of early retirement deltas between childfree person/couple and parents. However, IMO, it is an important part of the story.
P.S. Congratulations on your life achievement. It takes a lot of determination, diligent saving and smart investing to be able to retire as early as you did at the age of 52.
I do not think it diminishes your great accomplishment.
+1
I plan to retire in 4 years (at age 57). No kids. Definitely easier than if I had children, but still a pretty big accomplishment. Did I do it all by myself? Nope. My mother died when I was a teenager, and left a very small sum of money for me in a trust. But by age 24, that money had grown to be enough for a downpayment on a condo. My father paid for my college, and both parents instilled an appreciation of education and a solid work ethic. Those all helped, but I could have made a lot of different choices, given those circumstances (and believe me, my sisters did). The choices I made have put me in a pretty good position. I take credit for that!
I have many childless friends who are nowhere near able to retire because of their life choices and circumstances. And friends with children across the spectrum of financial stability, again because of their life choices and circumstances.
Are children a factor? Of course they are. As are income level, number of incomes in a household, how/where you choose to live, etc. Lots of choices.
I do not think it diminishes your great accomplishment.
Agreed.
We wouldn't feel comfortable taking that leap when we still had young people financially dependent on us. At 52 we'll still have college-age kids. After that?? Retirement sounds dreamy
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