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A close male friend in his early 70's has finally healed (as much as anyone can) from the loss of a beloved wife, and is looking with interest at single ladies in their 60's. In my opinion, he has much to recommend him.
To his surprise, many of them are not interested in dating anybody (not necessarily rejecting him personally), because they (in his words) "find men irrelevant." This is clearly in opposition to the commonly held view that single women in their 60's are anxious to find male partners.
I believe he is looking in his local area, and don't think he has tried online dating, yet.
Nine tenths of this is women saying men don't have much to offer at retirement age. A women's first attraction to men is looks and I have news for women at retirement age. You don't have it anymore. A few do but very few.
Yes! Since my update (post No. 682 in this thread) last December, he and his slightly younger lady friend have been almost inseparable. She was new in town, and they met at church. Neither of them have nurse or purse needs at this point, nor do they plan to marry. They just love to do the same things, including learning new things together. It's great to see. I haven't seen my friend smile this much, or this wide, since his late wife's illness several years ago. (Talk about a nurse, he spent a year being one).
Yes! Since my update (post No. 682 in this thread) last December, he and his slightly younger lady friend have been almost inseparable. She was new in town, and they met at church. Neither of them have nurse or purse needs at this point, nor do they plan to marry. They just love to do the same things, including learning new things together. It's great to see. I haven't seen my friend smile this much, or this wide, since his late wife's illness several years ago. (Talk about a nurse, he spent a year being one).
I've been taking a mental inventory of the long term marriages that I am familiar with.
Ok - I am not privy to their private life, just things I have been told and witnessed, but darn, no one appears to be "happy, happy, happy".
But I guess that is life.
Where are the happily married ever after people????
Those people exist in fairy tales. Real life has ups and downs, happiness and unhappiness. If you chose wisely, you have someone to weather it all and grow together with. If not, the sky's the limit for unhappiness.
And yet there is still a stigma that hangs over men who don't make as much money as their partners/wives.
There shouldn't be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by V8 Vega
Nine tenths of this is women saying men don't have much to offer at retirement age. A women's first attraction to men is looks and I have news for women at retirement age. You don't have it anymore. A few do but very few.
Feel better now? Too bad your comment is irrelevant to the discussion.
But thanks for telling us wimmin what attracts us. We'd never know, otherwise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53
I've been taking a mental inventory of the long term marriages that I am familiar with.
Ok - I am not privy to their private life, just things I have been told and witnessed, but darn, no one appears to be "happy, happy, happy".
But I guess that is life.
Where are the happily married ever after people????
I would find it much more dismaying if people walked around grinning like idiots. In fact, at a certain age, to do so would probably have a few doctors checking the person's cognition.
There are plenty of people who are happily married after many years together. There is just no need to share that with the world at large. People talk about their marriages when they are not happy, not when they are. So look at those who haven't complained to you. They're probably just fine.
Feel better now? Too bad your comment is irrelevant to the discussion.
But thanks for telling us wimmin what attracts us. We'd never know, otherwise.
I would find it much more dismaying if people walked around grinning like idiots. In fact, at a certain age, to do so would probably have a few doctors checking the person's cognition.
There are plenty of people who are happily married after many years together. There is just no need to share that with the world at large. People talk about their marriages when they are not happy, not when they are. So look at those who haven't complained to you. They're probably just fine.
There is also the "Anna Karenina principle" - Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. I think Tolstoy was right in many respects. Not completely accurate in all cases by any stretch but many happy people know they don't really have an interesting story so they don't tell it. For the most part, they are okay with that; maybe even happy about it...
There are plenty of people who are happily married after many years together. There is just no need to share that with the world at large. People talk about their marriages when they are not happy, not when they are. So look at those who haven't complained to you. They're probably just fine.
Don't be so sure. I'm privy to the reality of a friend's marriage, which is coming up on the 50-year mark. Everyone thinks they're a happy couple. Few know of the long-standing unhappiness and disaffection that permeates their relationship. Just because people don't advertise their unhappiness doesn't mean they're happy.
Why do they stay together? Because for them, with their lives, it's easier and less costly than separating.
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Feel better now? Too bad your comment is irrelevant to the discussion.
