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For some reason I have 83 as my date with the afterworld. Sounds good to just brush past 80 but not get into the old-old ages of 85-90. I don't want to live that long. If I make it to 83 I'll get to see my grandtwins graduate from high school. That's good enough for me.
i'm 72 and a half, and feel and live about the same as I did when I was 55. I know two women, one 87, and the other 86, who are very active, live independently, although, between them, they have had two mastectomies, two major surgeries for diverticulitis, and a recent serious car accident, which left one requiring two surgeries for internal injuries. they are both extremely active and want to remain independent. the 87 year old lives on two acres and until her car accident, mowed her own lawn.
it's difficult to generalize, but in the years when I worked as a social worker, much of it with the elderly, it seemed that a decline often began in the mid eighties. I often have such discussions with a high school friend of mine who is also 72, very independent, active, and still paints and exhibits as she has done for many years. her mother lived to be 89, was in a ccrc for the last 8 years of her life, and told her daughter that past 85, "it's not worth it." I tend to agree. my friend and I have both decided that 84 or 85 will do it for us. of course genetics plays a large part in how one ages, but it seems to me that by the mid to late eighties, it requires too much effort to try and continue with the life one has known and enjoyed, without major supports. so my choice, not having or wishing major supports, and seeing how many struggle in the late eighties, is to not linger past the mid eighties. we'll see.
I received the following wisdom many years ago from a now deceased client who bellowed it out with his Mississippi-sounding mother tongue still detectable - "Ain't no man wants to live to be 100 except the 99 year old man."
My Dad will be 80 this May and on a recent visit I've noticed changes. A little more leaned over and frail looking just since 5 or six months ago. A little worse driver, going to sleep earlier, more problems with hearing or understanding well. Sad to see but what are you going to do? Visit all you can and hope for the best.
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