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My rough understanding of Buddhism etc. is that it could be useful as a new perspective, not as a religion or god idea or any such. I have considered aspects of Buddhism as philosophy and am a never-churched lifelong atheist. I think the eastern perspective can be of interest without any of the mess of "religion."
As a complete change of pace, I would recommend the OP study Hinduism or Buddhism, or any Eastern religion / philosophy. The emphasis is so completely the opposite of Western philosophy that he may find solace - but only if he has an open mind. Of course acceptance would have to go beyond the mere intellectual to have any real effect. If he doesn't want to go THAT far, at least re-visit Jungian psychology with which I'm sure he has some familiarity.
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Originally Posted by mapleguy
Study religion ?
Why would you suggest that concept ?
Surely you know that many adults have no interest in religion of any kind?
I sure don't.
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Originally Posted by jasperhobbs
I can attest to the benefits of meditation but that is as far as I will go eastern concepts. Nothing against religion but to be brutally honest, religion has caused a lot of wars and deaths. People should practice what works for them but not push any religion onto anyone else.
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Originally Posted by brightdoglover
My rough understanding of Buddhism etc. is that it could be useful as a new perspective, not as a religion or god idea or any such. I have considered aspects of Buddhism as philosophy and am a never-churched lifelong atheist. I think the eastern perspective can be of interest without any of the mess of "religion."
Of course, people can mess up anything...
To be fair - I said STUDY Eastern religion / philosophy - I didn't say CONVERT or anything close to it. I also mentioned Jungian psychology which is decidedly NOT a religion. Are people so weak that to even read about a religion they are compelled to adopt it? I think not. No religion is devoid of at least some universal principles that can be applied to life - whether you swallow the doctrine whole or not. BTW, I'm an atheist.
These responses are excellent. OP, you've got to get out there and ''create'' a life, find satisfying activities for yourself, pursue your own interests. ''Life'' does not come to us. We have to go out and make our life what we want it to be.
Start by quitting comparing yourself to your wife. Just because she enjoys volunteer work does not mean you should or should be forced to. Find your own bliss. We never get anywhere by comparing ourselves to others.
Make a list of your own interests: reading, golf, tennis, hiking, cooking, bicycling, wood working, photography, etc. and pursue them on your own or join a club or class to make friends.
Invite your wife to do things and if she declines, then you go do them. Invite her to a movie, to go out to eat, to go for a ride, etc. Create some time as a couple and then have your own interests.
Maybe she is ''so busy'' because you've become a ''stick in the mud''? Think about that! LOL
Get off that couch and make it a point to do something interesting and fun every day. Go get a coffee, hit the library, walk at the park, enjoy your life!
Well said. My parents always pursued their separate interests when they were young and working. That didn't change in retirement. They each did whatever it was that appealed to them without worrying what the other was doing.
I love your "life doesn't come to us" statement. I think too many people believe it should when making major changes in their lives such as relocation or retirement and expect everything to naturally fall into place.
If the OP acted on all the great recommendations other here have offered, he'd have no time to be bored and might actually enjoy being bored. We all need to be careful that which we ask because we might get it.
gardening and cooking..two things where you can constantly learn and enjoy, aren't very expensive, and can be very fulfilling..now go scramble some eggs with fresh herbs from the garden..
One of the few things I'm glad I'm not an intellectual. I'm a foodie and I enjoy gardening. lately I'm into bridge and painting, I might call it my new found passion. I can spend hours on painting. What a joy, I should have majored in art.
To be fair - I said STUDY Eastern religion / philosophy - I didn't say CONVERT or anything close to it. I also mentioned Jungian psychology which is decidedly NOT a religion. Are people so weak that to even read about a religion they are compelled to adopt it? I think not. No religion is devoid of at least some universal principles that can be applied to life - whether you swallow the doctrine whole or not. BTW, I'm an atheist.
Yep. I've started going back to church for the camaraderie. But I also feel our church is kind of fluid.
I attend Native American drum circle too. That is also very interesting.
I think that 95% of the people here are the people who sat at a desk for 40 years under the thumb of a tyrannical and stupid boss, and who actions in the world or work hardly accomplished anything. For them, the freedom of retirement is everything.
I belong to the other 5%.
Well, you're wrong. I taught over 2,000 students in the course of my music teaching career. Many of whom have continued to perform music not only as a career but merely for pleasure. I had the thrill of going to the Lincoln Center and watch and listen to a former student sing the leading role in at the Metropolitan Opera. My career was very rewarding and very demanding. Many still keep in touch and some have pursued careers in music education. No two days were ever alike. Most of my colleagues and administrators were learned people and not control freaks or dummies as you suggest.
I get what you're saying about all the paperwork that was piled on by "the powers that be". I was making cuts to my program so that I could fit in all the "assessments" that were demanded by State Education Departments. But life is a banquet table. Music's just one dish. I want to taste more: I want to look forward and not backward. I want to ride horseback in the Andes Mountains. I want to cruise the fjords of Norway. I want to grow my own food and dance until 1:00 am. My imagination is my only limitation.
One of the few things I'm glad I'm not an intellectual. I'm a foodie and I enjoy gardening. lately I'm into bridge and painting, I might call it my new found passion. I can spend hours on painting. What a joy, I should have majored in art.
I would qualify as an "intellectual" but I have also found an interest in art. After a career in highly technical fields, I started with photography. Photography attracts a lot of gear heads but my interests are mainly in artistic expression. This past year I have seriously taken up painting. Actually I should say that has happened mainly in the past few months. Since after Thanksgiving, I have completed about 30 large pastels.
OTOH, gardening, cooking and playing cards do not interest me.
If the OP acted on all the great recommendations other here have offered, he'd have no time to be bored and might actually enjoy being bored. We all need to be careful that which we ask because we might get it.
I think, though, he was saying he's not bored but he's not feeling fulfilled either. So I guess that means he may just have to keep searching for something that doesn't bore him but also fulfills him at the same time.
My father used to say when he had been retired for about 5 years that retirement was just an extremely boring way to wait to die.
I have hit the mark in life that people have started to ask me when I am going to retire
I am just not that excited about having that much free time. I have a fun job with mostly fun people and I can arrange my schedule so I have days/weeks off whenever I need them. I take adventures often. I have not "waited" until I retire to do things. Maybe it would be different if disliked my job. My Company did make Fortune's Top Admired Companies to work for--so maybe I choose a good Company to work for
Everyone is different. Everyone has to decide what will make them the happiest. Create a life that will make you happy--maybe it will involve work, maybe not. Everyone is different.
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