Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We both work together, and make very good money. However, over the past 30 years he made multiple bad decisions in the stock market, and bankruptcy, etc. So now, at the age of 68, he's finally making really good money, but he's 30 years older than me, and we have identical amounts saved for retirement, and that's AFTER he just received $250k as an inheritance last year. Definitely not where he should be.
About 7 years ago, I started working with him. He gets 2/3rds of the income, I get 1/3rd. This is a very fair arrangement, as he started the whole thing by himself. When he retires, (he's thinking 70 or 72) and I take over, I will get 2/3rds, and he and my mother will continue to get 1/3rd until he dies. That will be plenty of money for their retirement, and when he dies there is a $1mil life insurance policy on him, split 75% to my mother and 25% to me.
After that, I will get all the income from the business, but if my mother needed to be supported, my wife and I would do so. We're already planning on having her move in with us when the time comes if need be.
My parents did the same for their parents when they got too old to live by themselves, and helped out financially as well.
My family was poor and my parents uneducated so they always had jobs that didn't pay a lot (packing house worker, motel maid, etc) or have any benefits, but we survived. My father passed away in 1973 and my mother retired in 1977 with Social Security, a very little amount of savings and a tiny paid for house. She sold the house in 1988 for the grand amount of $18k and moved into subsidized housing where she stayed for over 20 years. Her Social Security was about $600 per month and she made it work.
We used to help her with some $$ at Christmas or Mother's Day (using any excuse to give her some) or if her old car needed a repair. When she had to stop driving in 2004, we paid for someone to come by twice a week to check on her, take her shopping, to visit her sister, dr appointments, etc. Then came the big hit when she could no longer live on her own. Moved her into assisted living where her $ disappeared within a year (even with us paying $500 a month). So we then had to pick up most of the freight for the assisted living (my sister helped a bit, but she doesn't have much). She passed away two years ago at the age of 102.
Would I like to have all the $ back that we contributed to her? Sure. But my parents did the best that they knew how to do with their lives and my wife and I figured that we would do the best we could to make her life OK during her last years. Luckily for us, it hasn't damaged how we live in retirement, so we can sleep with a pretty clear conscience.
Yes and no. In my families case, my father died young so my mother, a 50's woman worked but had little left over to save for retirement. After retirement she did fine on SS and a small pension and it wasn't until she became sick that she needed financial help. Of course I help but sometimes I have mixed feelings because we are older and need to put as much money aside to take care of ourselves when we become unable to work.
That's the problem. Helping a parent/family member who truly needs that help is a good thing, IMO, but ending up in the virtual poorhouse, so to speak, because you've spent too much of your own money supporting that family member to save for your own retirement isn't good for anyone. Which is why, although we help my mother out financially (and a lot of her money issues result from her champagne tastes/beer budget mentality over the years, but she's always expected that someone would provide hee with what she wanted if she said she couldn't afford it), we've had to be firm about the amount of help we could provide. We are retired too.
My family was poor and my parents uneducated so they always had jobs that didn't pay a lot (packing house worker, motel maid, etc) or have any benefits, but we survived. My father passed away in 1973 and my mother retired in 1977 with Social Security, a very little amount of savings and a tiny paid for house. She sold the house in 1988 for the grand amount of $18k and moved into subsidized housing where she stayed for over 20 years. Her Social Security was about $600 per month and she made it work.
We used to help her with some $$ at Christmas or Mother's Day (using any excuse to give her some) or if her old car needed a repair. When she had to stop driving in 2004, we paid for someone to come by twice a week to check on her, take her shopping, to visit her sister, dr appointments, etc. Then came the big hit when she could no longer live on her own. Moved her into assisted living where her $ disappeared within a year (even with us paying $500 a month). So we then had to pick up most of the freight for the assisted living (my sister helped a bit, but she doesn't have much). She passed away two years ago at the age of 102.
Would I like to have all the $ back that we contributed to her? Sure. But my parents did the best that they knew how to do with their lives and my wife and I figured that we would do the best we could to make her life OK during her last years. Luckily for us, it hasn't damaged how we live in retirement, so we can sleep with a pretty clear conscience.
State of Florida told us no go for any Medicaid help for assisted living. Come back and apply when she is in a nursing home that accepts Medicaid. That is where she wound up for the last 5 months of her life after she fell and fractured her arm. It was really hard to find one who would take Medicaid, but I couldn't go the $8000+ to get her into one that non-Medicaid.
When my uncle left my aunt with two kids and only a part time income with no money or child support, it left an impression on everyone. She struggled to survive for years and only made a modest middle-class income for years afterward. She is now retired and living on a small social security payment of about $2,000 a month. She has basically no savings or investments. (She kept working until she was 70 and then started collecting.)
Her two kids turned out OK and make good money. Both of her kids send Mom $750 a month so she can survive financially in retirement.
Do you think this type of situation is common? (Kids help support their parents financially in retirement.)
No. $2000 a month is plenty enough to retire.
If the kids need to help, it would be by re-locating mom to a lower cola area and she can slowly re-pay the loan.
She is the mother here, and doing quite well financially
I don't think people ought to expect their kids to support them in retirement.
However, things happen. When my father died at age 49 and left my stay at home mother with 7 kids to support, she quickly used their savings and found herself living on just SS.
We older kids bought a small house and let her live there free and sent her money every month to supplement her SS income. Nobody forced us to do that but we had been raised and taught to support the family.
Charity begins at home.
this ^ good on you older kids!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
