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Is this referring to Americans or everyone?
Old people have been perceived as out of touch with trends, fads, new technology, fashion, art, everything new. Square. Old thinkers who dwell on the past, not the future.
They supposedly live in the past and many do.
They like the good old days.. Uncoordinated. There are so many reasons over the decades and centuries. Young people are cool and old people very uncool--this is the perception and often true. Do not underestimate the importance of COOL as a image and reputation.
This is merely the general public. Not everyone feels this way, of course. The medical profession treats elderly with respect. students often have respect for elderly professors, etc. When I was in Amsterdam, I saw more respect.
This is not a cross cultural issue, or is it?
Yes, its the being-invisible thing that I was trying to describe. I've already forgotten who posted that comment or how far back it was, LOL!
That's what happened with the bartender who didn't want to take my order and then grossly shorted me when I forced him to pay attention to me.
Then there's the dismissiveness, the anything-an-old-person-wants-must-be-weird attitude. A few years back I was in a department store and couldn't find a bra in my size. I told the teeny-bopper who was working there (who I had to go chase down to start with) that I was looking for a 36C. She immediately popped off with "OH, that's a weird size, we wouldn't have that!"
Yeah right. A 36C is a "weird size" when the median bra size for American women is a 34C. Great. Obviously that was a nonsense comment but she made it because I, an old person, could not POSSIBLY be "normal" in any way.
If I was a little heavy on the medical-interaction side of the ledger, its because as we age we have an awful lot more interactions with medical folks - and even medical folks who have supposedly been specifically trained to deal with older people (gerontology specializations) treat us like something they're trying to scrape off their shoe, if they can't ignore us altogether.
OMG, and I even have yet another flight attendant story after my recent visit to my son. Another MALE flight attendant. Hassling me over my cane (again). I actually HAD given the cane up this time when he PROMISED he would hand it back as soon as I next needed it. NOPE. I asked for it. He demanded to know why I needed it. I stated I needed to hit the bathroom (seriously, what else does anyone get up on an airplane in flight to do?). He asked me - I swear - "CAN'T YOU WAIT?" I told him no and demanded my cane. After that he was just a passive aggressive earth hole the rest of the flight. He was SO bad that when we landed, not one, but TWO of my fellow passengers rushed to get my cane for me WITHOUT BEING ASKED.
I bought a folding cane - which, btw, is way to large for me but can't be adjusted smaller, oddly enough - and the female flight attendants on the way back never said a word about my regular cane. I never had to get the folding one out at all. I swear I have never had a problem with a female flight attendant. Only males, trying to be alpha dogs. Nope. They're just dogs. (Not all male attendants, of course, but I've only ever had a problem with a male flight attendant, and only since I "got old")
Then there's the dismissiveness, the anything-an-old-person-wants-must-be-weird attitude. A few years back I was in a department store and couldn't find a bra in my size. I told the teeny-bopper who was working there (who I had to go chase down to start with) that I was looking for a 36C. She immediately popped off with "OH, that's a weird size, we wouldn't have that!"
Yeah right. A 36C is a "weird size" when the median bra size for American women is a 34C. Great. Obviously that was a nonsense comment but she made it because I, an old person, could not POSSIBLY be "normal" in any way.
I'm not getting ageism from that, though. It's just a strange comment.
Do YOU feel that you're just another old timer and in the way? I mean plenty of other people might think that but that doesn't mean you have to feel it. It doesn't mean you have to give into it either.
Well said. Truth is, most of the time I am upbeat and not at all concerned with being old. I’m lucky enough to still be sharing my life with my wife of amost 45 years and with two orange cats who couldn’t care less how old I am. Of course there are those moments when I am suddenly reminded of my age, either by some activity that is now difficult (or impossible) where it once wasn’t, or by the ticket seller at the movies automatically giving me the senior discount (which is usually good for a laugh). But for the most part I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy my existence.
What I’ve been trying to get at in this thread is why it is that old age in our society is thought of as so unattractive and old people in general so marginalized. It just seems crazy to me that we as a society view old age so dismissively and as so unattractive, given that most humans would like to achieve old age. Not everybody gets there.
As the average age in America continues to climb (one way of saying that there are more older people now than ever before), it seems to me that our society is ignoring what could be a major resource, namely the collective experience and wisdom of its senior citizens.
If you dont respect the other individual (s), why would you expect them to respect you,?
Its a two way street.
The problem with it is everyone blames a different generation for their problems, usually a generation (s) that went before them.
Also, the young figure they own the world that the world owes them something, and they wont have respect for the older generations until they get to be the older generation.
Its always what goes around comes around.
To sum it up, "treat others the way you would like to be treated."
I'm 46 and work in nursing home rehab. I was also raised by older parents. I agree with you 100%. We really fail once someone enters a nursing home. We as a country have been obsessed with acquiring and consuming. The trend has increasingly become more about "me, me, me." We discard older folks to allow others to "take care" of them. That means people profit from them. Some are forced to do therapy they dont need or want. The lack of care from understaffed facilities is despicable. Many of the caregivers dont even acknowledge the person as a person, as they talk to their helper about personal things no one should hear. Many sit in their own faces and urine for hours. Sadly, the elderly become institutionalized and deal with it. When families DO come, I have heard them ask "how are you, are you happy?" More times than not, they hear "I am doing good," when in fact I know they feel differently. Bless their hearts, they more often than not, do not want to inconvenience their families so they basically allow their own abuse. I see it all the time. Yes, I go above and beyond working in this ****ty system but I'm a drop of only a few in the bucket. We need to do them better!
It just seems crazy to me that we as a society view old age so dismissively and as so unattractive, given that most humans would like to achieve old age. Not everybody gets there.
It's not that people want to get old, it's that they don't want to die. The further they can put it off, the better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brookboy
As the average age in America continues to climb (one way of saying that there are more older people now than ever before), it seems to me that our society is ignoring what could be a major resource, namely the collective experience and wisdom of its senior citizens.
This is not meant to be snarky, I'm genuinely curious as to what you're thinking about... what exactly is it that older people know (that younger people do not) that the rest of us should be paying special attention to or listening to or learning from? Are we talking child-rearing, career moves, housecleaning tips... can you be more specific? I want to be clear, I am *not* in any way saying that older people are useless or less valuable than younger people, I'm just trying to get a sense of what this special knowledge and wisdom consists of that is applicable to modern day life that apparently we are all ignoring.
. . . as an old woman, I get just about NO respect.
I don't hang out in bars any more, but the last time I did happen to be in one, the bartender ignored me until I grabbed his sleeve. Then he sneered at me and gave me about a quarter glass of wine (instead of the normally filled ones I could see all over the room). I walked off and left it sitting on the bar. Haven't been in a bar since, don't miss it.
If I had been the bartender I would have told you to leave. Unbelievable.
Trying to get a bartenders attention in a busy bar is a universal problem, only made slightly better when you are young and hot.
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I’m in my mid 70s and I have to say that I am distressed by the fact that old people get such a bad rap. Yes, we old-timers do get senior citizen reductions in costs, and Portland, Oregon calls its senior citizens “honored citizens”. But the overwhelming feeling I get as an old-timer is that I’m somehow in the way, unless I’m paying for something. Once l’ve actually paid, I’m back to being in the way.
The fact is that everyone - EVERYONE - either gets old or they don’t. Either way, why don’t younger people have more respect for old people?
Really sounds like a personal problem to me.
I enjoy AARP and Senior Citizen's discounts. But why should we be getting discounts when a younger struggling single mom or dad isn't? Or, someone on disability?
If someone is stupid enough to take 10-15% off a hotel room or meal for me, I'll thank them and take the savings. But, I dont deserve it.
What did I do to "earn" a discount other than get old?
I receive respect from younger people. I receive their thanks for helping. What more do I want?
I don't need to be called anything other than Mr mike1003. Honored Citizen, Senior Citizen, etc. are just words
To get respect, you have to earn it!
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