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That's why I'm glad I did the bar scene in my 20s and was finished with it once I got older. I have women friends in their 40s and older complaining about their bar & nightclub experiences. The men are looking at the younger women and that's part of the problem. They're paying $200 to split a bottle of fine wine and then get ignored by all the men there. If I want to have fun I go to a movie or a trip somewhere or spend time with my kids.
I can't imagine being older and sitting in a bar, women who do that get called cougars and lounge lizards! no thanks! besides, people ought to grow up and put all that cheap sex bar pickup lifestyle far far behind them. Like, as soon as they turn old enough to drink.
What???? one thing not that respectable, is older women or men, trying to act like younger ones... that cleavage might be too wrinkly to be physically pleasant. And fake surgical youthfulness is obvious and uncool as well.
And i am retirement age, so i know this for a fact.
But taking good care of your self will pay out , it helps you look and feel better longer.
My comment is about getting attention in a bar, facetiously of course, I haven’t been in a bar for years now. The last time I was there was in the early to mid 80s.
But what facts are we talking about? I still don’t have wrinkles in my chest, I was told I still have nice skin by other women. No fake surgical youthfulness here. Maybe a broad brush is not necessary. Yes I cover myself with lots of sunscreen when I was younger, even as a beach bum. I’m 60 is that old enough for you?
Last edited by NewbieHere; 05-07-2019 at 10:37 PM..
yes, keeping the family integrated throughout life would sure help to make elderly more valued and less isolated. If grannies still cared for babies all day, and other things around the home, because the family home was multi generational- it would be much healthier and better for society. Elders would be there to give their wisdom as well, it would mean the younger sets didn't have to re-learn everything- and it would be a familiar and valued contribution much more so than today. Elder wisdom is valuable but not valued by many.
I’m sorry—this granny does not want to care for babies all day! Been there, done that.
And I am sure my kids are thankful DH and I don’t live with them.
I think your longing is misplaced, frankly. I do not long for some older, golden age.
I don’t worry about being respected. This never crosses my mind. What kind of person worries about this? But here in my corner of the PNW, younger people constantly open doors for me. Really, its kind of weird. I am able bodied. Believe me, this was not done where I used to live. But this practice has made me conscious of others who might need help with doors. So, I often open doors for people too. I mean, why not?
If you are accomplished and you focus on helping the next generation learn from you by patiently teaching them your skills, you'll earn their respect. Age is irrelevant.
It seems that older individuals are not depicted as mattering much. It's not the culture to depict older people in a great light.. getting older is seen as unappealing and there are usually not examples of older people imparting wisdom. They are nearing death, let's not think about it...
TV ads with Seniors are usually something related to illness, Health Care, Financial Planning and Retirement. Young people are depicted in most other advertisements living it up, vacationing, eating out, laughing, "being successful"...since that is what is promoted.
After an age, females especially can be overlooked. Living in an apartment building where there are those young and older, I have begun feeling it...though neighborly and speaking with those I run into, most being pleasant, I'm aware with some I am seen as an "old lady". I was once their age and nice-looking too, but never disrespectful of older neighbors. One day they will be in the same boat.
The young will only learn respect for the elderly or "older people " only once they reach our ages.
Every generation last century tried to distinguish themselves from their parents generation, and its no different today.
When we were all young, grandmother and grandfather were, well, old.
Respect was taught, though, elders were "Mr. " or "Mrs. ", and the ubiquitous "Ms." As a catchall. We were taught to respect our elders. Boy scouts to help little old ladies across the road, to carry their bags and packages, etc. A boy scout is "courteous, kind, helpful, thrifty, clean, brave and reverant..." ( plus a few I'm missing, been 30+ years since i recited that oath).
But they no longer teach respect in schools, nor do they teach things like cursive writing or reading actual books. If it isnt a computerized system or electronic game, its not taught. And where once 2/3 was passing grades, now its only 50%.
My nephew, upon my giving my great nephew a fantasy book said " I'm actually excited for him to read an actual book!".
When i turned 30, no one in their 20s wanted to date me anymore, not even a 28 or 29 yo, to whom that "magical cutoff year" was about to happen to. But i admit, i was NOT interested in anyone 40 or over then either. Now im going to be 56, and no one in their 40s would think i was dateable, if i was in the dating game. It gets worse when one reaches 60s. And yes, men in particular still chase dates who are in their 20s, due i think in fact to the fact that late teens and early 20s is the dating formative years, and they are still chasing that "dream date"....women who are older can be just as bad...its kind of cool to be a "cougar" now. Due to all that, its wise to settle with someone "age appropriate " that is the same age bracket as self.
And just like women go through a depression when they reaches the end of their childbearing years, men chase after younger women in lamenting their passing age, and to relive their younger years when they were...well, studs. Women thinks thats disgusting, but no different than women using creams and gunk on their faces and necks and/or having face lifts...all in an effort to regain their own youth!!
Every generation wants separation from the generation/s before, just as any child separates from their parents. Its a natural progression, yet we complain when they do it.
I remember seeing bumper stickers when i was young that said " don't trust anyone over 30".
But even in my 20s, and especially when i reached that cut off date of 30, my favorite phrase to the younger set was " age has its revenge!!"
For me, it's worked the other way at times. People see the grey hair and wrinkles and ask if I need help. Those have been the young people whose parents I suspect have taught their kids to be respectful and courteous to the elderly.
I have had younger people offer me their seat in the bus and hold open doors for me. Sometimes they will just strike up a conversation while waiting for a bus. Could be I remind them of their grandmas.
I’m in my mid 70s and I have to say that I am distressed by the fact that old people get such a bad rap. Yes, we old-timers do get senior citizen reductions in costs, and Portland, Oregon calls its senior citizens “honored citizens”. But the overwhelming feeling I get as an old-timer is that I’m somehow in the way, unless I’m paying for something. Once l’ve actually paid, I’m back to being in the way.
The fact is that everyone - EVERYONE - either gets old or they don’t. Either way, why don’t younger people have more respect for old people?
Many of us don't feel we don't get respect, in fact it is often the opposite.
I’m in my mid 70s and I have to say that I am distressed by the fact that old people get such a bad rap. Yes, we old-timers do get senior citizen reductions in costs, and Portland, Oregon calls its senior citizens “honored citizens”. But the overwhelming feeling I get as an old-timer is that I’m somehow in the way, unless I’m paying for something. Once l’ve actually paid, I’m back to being in the way.
The fact is that everyone - EVERYONE - either gets old or they don’t. Either way, why don’t younger people have more respect for old people?
I grew old in Portland. I moved there in my late twenties and left in my late sixties. Many of my elderly friends and I felt we were disrespected in Portland because of our age especially as the new group of young people began moving there in droves. They made us feel like pariahs in our own neighborhood.
Then I moved to the Cleveland area. What a difference! Everyone, including young people much more polite and nicer to the elderly here.
Also the Portland "honored citizen" is a joke. The area I live in just outside of Cleveland has so much more to offer seniors.
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