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Read, for instance, the link in #39 and the real life stories contained therein. See how these generalizations of yours pan out. I suspect most, if not all, of the people who need help later in life have done a great deal in their lifetime - a lot more than you give them credit for in your sweeping generalizations.
I read the original article you posted and the OCR link and stand firm in my comments. My opinion is not changed for the masses, which is why I phrased it as a sweeping generalization. You then chose to attack the premise, disingenuously, with specific examples representative of a small segment of and already small subset of the overall population.
I remain with little sympathy. As with most issues in life, the wounds are self inflicted. People focus on the outliers, and the outliers and generally very sympathetic stories but amount to noise in the greater population. True they are significant to the individual but inconsequential (as is my life) to the general population.
I think feelings of isolation and actually feeling old depends on what part of the country you live in. I grew up in New England and basically everyone hibernates in the winter. People are old in their mid 70's and on or at least act that way. We now live in Florida where 80+ year old people are out walking, biking and doing other sport activity. It has redefined aging to us. They aren't isolated because they are among their peers and have made new friends. Their kids, if they have them, don't live in the area and may not even see them every year. You are only as isolated and lonely as you let yourself be.
Hence, the closing part of the article spoke to our concerns...
“The care system for those living with dementia is overly reliant on family care,†he said. “If you don’t have family to care for you, you’re left to fend for yourself, which means risking becoming very unwell. We need a special care and health system that recognises this demographic.â€
That's going to be incredibly costly.
The unfunded liabilities of the UK through 2040 are 75% of its GDP.
The UK will have no choice but to increase taxes, while simultaneously eliminating benefits and services, and reducing other benefits and services.
A "special care" system is just another expense that the UK cannot afford.
France has slashed their pension from 50% to 37.5%, raised the retirement age, and now forces people to work 6 years longer than Americans to qualify for their pensions (7 years if born 1973 or later), and still they're at 85% of GDP.
More cuts are coming. I suspect France will reduce pensions further from 37.5% to 32.5% or 32.0%.
Britain and France are two of the best-situated. Other Euro-States are not so lucky, and those people are going to be very, very angry for a very, very long time (right up to the day they die).
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Originally Posted by charlygal
Planning, planning, planning. Much of this can be mitigated by thoughful planning.
True, but even the best plans get laid waste.
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Originally Posted by xray731
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal
So you intentionally married a woman so she could be your caregiver? Sure, that solved your problem but you made her life way more complicated.
Who are we to judge others? The woman was not forced to marry him - she was 50 - she knew what she may be in for.
Well, we don't actually know that. People sometimes have distorted perceptions of reality.
She might truly think and believe she can deal with it, but when that day actually comes, she might cut and run.
Not everyone is meant to be a care-giver. It's not a weakness or character flaw, it's just how it is.
Should they fell responsible for their aging parents? Why? Are they obligated to have these feelings? If the care is coming out of obligation and not love, do you still want the care?
Because they raised us. I never felt a moment's resentment caregiving for my Mom. No was there any thought process of 'should I?'
Because they raised us. I never felt a moment's resentment caregiving for my Mom. No was there any thought process of 'should I?'
Maybe your mom fit the traditional mother myth. However, some "mothers" are just women who had babies. No real maternal instinct, didn't really want to be a parent, etc. The parent-child relationship in these cases is much different and there might not be a connection between the parent and child.
I always told my male students that you will never know the full range of emotions a sentient being is capable of, as a man, until you marry and have children. It truly is an enlightening experience and I simply do not think any man who has never experienced matrimony and fatherhood can ever come close to replicating this life changing experience.
That all being said, I never stated to them that is necessarily a positive overall experience as much as one that broadens the mind.
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