What is your Long Term Care Plan? (state, retired, drugs)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It seems everyone says they don't want to ever move to a care home, I wonder what percentage of those who eventually do make the decision themselves versus by children or caregivers.
I know, it is so weird.
Maybe it depends on your personality. My mom was in one for several years. She told us to put her there if she ever needed extra care.
She was on hospice but being at the home brought her back to like. She needed to be around people, and not us - her kids - lol
She loved the activities, all the parties and entertainment they had each week. Of course it is a small town, so everyone knew each other.
She was even the president of the their little association.
And it was not a luxurious place. Just a place that cared about their clients.
I could afford assisted living if needed. Prior to that, hire people out of pocket to come to my house or drive for groceries, etc. There's a lot of space and options between independent in your home and bedridden in a nursing home.
Makes sense. I'm glad you pointed that out.
My secret terror -- OK, not so secret now -- is that I will end up bedridden with only my autistic spouse to care for me, because he won't spend money on a home health aide and he definitely won't spend money on a nursing home.
My secret terror -- OK, not so secret now -- is that I will end up bedridden with only my autistic spouse to care for me, because he won't spend money on a home health aide and he definitely won't spend money on a nursing home.
oh wow - can you appoint someone to do those things for you?
My older sibling is a tightwad also. She is very ill but can still get around a bit. Drive a few miles.
She finally hired a lady to clean her house and take her to doctor appointments.
My mom was in a nursing home for seven years, my dad for three, we tried a live-in caregiver but he stole $30k and spent three years in prison. I learned by all of that and bought LTC insurance when young and later got a 2nd policy that also covers home health. If you wait until you are elderly you can't hardly pay the premiums. I bump it up every couple years but don't expect it to pay for everything. Better than nothing. If I get hit by a bus and never use it, so what? I'm active and my health is pretty good at 73 so I could do myself in by misadventure although I stopped scuba diving and won't be doing skydiving or mountain climbing.
Interesting. Can you comment on why they were in a nursing home for so long?
I had looked up average time in nursing homes, per patient, and if memory serves (which it very well might not), I thought the average was around two years).
It seems everyone says they don't want to ever move to a care home, I wonder what percentage of those who eventually do make the decision themselves versus by children or caregivers.
My parents did not want to, but we were out of options and did start making plans in that direction. There were simply not enough funds to pay for 24/7 care which is what was what was needed; my parents both understood this of course, and they had agreed to it; the house was to be sold to pay for their care. However, they both wound up on hospice before those plans were finalized, and both passed away last summer. They wanted to die in their own home, and that is exactly what they did.
Maybe it depends on your personality. My mom was in one for several years. She told us to put her there if she ever needed extra care.
She was on hospice but being at the home brought her back to like. She needed to be around people, and not us - her kids - lol
She loved the activities, all the parties and entertainment they had each week. Of course it is a small town, so everyone knew each other.
She was even the president of the their little association.
And it was not a luxurious place. Just a place that cared about their clients.
It wouldn't bother me.
I liked the board-and-care my MIL was in. There was one woman who had been living there for four years, amazing. She must have had some kind of insurance that picked up the $6k/month cost.
I don't care where I die but I do want decent care. My mother was in a nursing home for about two weeks before she died and although it was a gorgeous place, the employees were nasty. The night workers barely spoke English and when my mother would ask to go to the bathroom, they would tell her to just wet the bed. They wouldn't even bring her a blanket when she asked for one. Just lucky I could get there every other day and bring things to her and help her eat her meals because they wouldn't even cut her meat for her when she was very weak.
My aunt was in a nursing home (not the one she died in) and the night worker tried to steal her ring off her finger. They thought she was asleep but she was awake and she screamed. The nursing home where she finally died was one she had chosen for herself and the employees were wonderful. One even sat there and cried with me as we sat by her bed at Christmas just before she died.
If you end up in a nursing home you need someone to advocate for you. That person can report any abuse, can bring things to you, can help you, can make sure everything is all right. So my plan is that I want someone to be able to advocate for me. My sister lives in Virginia which is too far away although she'd probably make a trip up here for a few days. I do have another relative who lives close by. I just hope I die fast, not a long drawn out suffering torture.
I don't care where I die but I do want decent care. My mother was in a nursing home for about two weeks before she died and although it was a gorgeous place, the employees were nasty. The night workers barely spoke English and when my mother would ask to go to the bathroom, they would tell her to just wet the bed. They wouldn't even bring her a blanket when she asked for one. Just lucky I could get there every other day and bring things to her and help her eat her meals because they wouldn't even cut her meat for her when she was very weak.
My aunt was in a nursing home (not the one she died in) and the night worker tried to steal her ring off her finger. They thought she was asleep but she was awake and she screamed. The nursing home where she finally died was one she had chosen for herself and the employees were wonderful. One even sat there and cried with me as we sat by her bed at Christmas just before she died.
If you end up in a nursing home you need someone to advocate for you. That person can report any abuse, can bring things to you, can help you, can make sure everything is all right. So my plan is that I want someone to be able to advocate for me. My sister lives in Virginia which is too far away although she'd probably make a trip up here for a few days. I do have another relative who lives close by. I just hope I die fast, not a long drawn out suffering torture.
My mom spent quite a bit of time (months) in a SNF after her back surgery went south, 6 years ago. There were certainly issues, but there were no "nasty" employees, thank God, and all were English-speaking. It was a brand new facility, and even though it was probably one of the nicer ones around, it was obvious that there were simply not enough staff to care for the patients. I actually wound up on the phone one day, in the parking lot of my workplace, ranting at one of the management/owners about how poorly staffed the facility was and how furious I was at the care my mom was (not) receiving, We had many meetings with the facility director as well. I cannot tell you how many times I had to run out of work to go there to deal with something. It was so very frustrating and exhausting. There are two other facilities in this area that I know I would have been very comfortable with as far as care,, but they were not available to us at the time. It really sucks that people have to deal with this at a time when they really need the most care and compassion. I just hate it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
