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I have a lot of FOMO (fear of missing out). Everyone everywhere lives interesting lives in interesting homes and I want to experience all of it... the beach house, the urban loft, the mountain cabin, the hobby farm
People make mistakes. There's no point in beating yourself up over it. We're all human. I think one mistake some retirees make is waiting too long to move until they are in their 70s and then they hopefully expect things to fall into place which often enough isn't the case.
Personally, it takes me a long time after moving to a new place to feel like home. I moved across country about 6 months ago and have liked it from day one but it's still taken this long for it to start to feel like this is my house and to become familiar enough with the area.
I originally wanted a small farm house on 2-3 acres and then slapped myself back to reality and purchased mid to smallish 1570 sq ft house downtown in a small town where most things are in easy walking distance and there is public transportation. The house is 2 stories but there is little downstairs that I truly need but I enjoy having that extra space. The downstairs is almost like its own little apartment with its own entrance.
The foot print of the house is small. Because it's a very old house downtown, there is no driveway which would require snow removal and I chose not to have a car here which makes my life much more stress free. The yard is very small with no grass to mow. I can easily maintain it with a weed wacker. If I ever need to hire someone to maintain it for me, it would cost very little.
To my shock, I'm making friends here and getting to know more people but it takes time. I never expected people in this small town to roll out the red carpet for me but most people have been kind and gracious. Everywhere is going to be different. In many regards, I feel lucky things fell into place, but I did do a lot of research and visiting before moving. With that said, you just can't predict who your neighbors will be to a great extent.
The only way I'm leaving here will be on a stretcher when I can no longer function. I'm in my early 60s so hopefully that won't happen for a few years.
Last edited by marino760; 11-19-2021 at 03:28 AM..
I've spoken before about the eerie quiet of our Scottsdale neighborhood and the neighbors who seem to barricade themselves in their homes lest somebody try to speak to them.
This is not at all unusual. In fact I would say it is the norm at least for suburbia.
Over the years my wife and I have lived in several areas:
Cleveland, Little Rock, Kansas City, San Fernando Valley (LA), Chicago, Phoenix, Long Island (2 different houses and neighborhoods). The number of neighborhood friends and social interactions with neighbors has been minimal in all those decades. Cleveland was an old dying neighborhood with transient rentors. In Little Rock we were Northerners and non-Baptists. In KC, there was a single block party we attended. In Chicago, a neighbor was a Sears exec who had a big business BBQ and invited the neighbors. In Phoenix my wife was friends with a woman down the street with children the same age. I was in their house once. They used our pool when we went on vacation. In 30 years of living on Long Island we have never had a neighbor in our house or been invited by a neighbor. After 8 years in our present house, we know the names of only one set of neighbors who are adjacent to us.
It is not that we are anti-social but in all of the neighborhoods where we have lived, interactions between neighbors are very minimal. Even neighborhood kids rarely play with each other. All of our friends are from taking OLLI classes or due to photography, archery or other hobbies and activities.
If you want to change this, it is likely to be difficult. You might need to take the first step by inviting neighbors to a pool/patio party at your house. That might break the ice but I would not count on it.
When we retired we bought a ranch home almost new, in the country on 3+ acres and also a motorhome. We have more than doubled our profit on previous house. We travelled five months out of the year, made some improvements to the house so maintenance is limited. Spouse was diagnosed and passed within 1.5 months.
I'm still in the house, prefer living here rather than in senior housing. If I need worked done, I hire someone. Blessed with neighbors who are always willing to help.
I have downsized drastically, in fact you might say I'm a minimalist. Planning on staying here as long as possible.
I had an uncle that had a 41 yr career in commercial construction (100+ yr old company, 19 billion in sales), he retired as the CEO. So he wanted to build his forever home. Construction took 2+ years, house was 10K sq ft, all concrete/elevator/3 car garage, 600 amp service. I think it had 7 bedrooms (62 yr old guy, wife, 2 dogs) so lots of empty beds 350 nights a year. He thought he would have tons of visitors, turns out they did in the first 1-2 yrs then it tailed off.
Then he started looking at the expenses, $7000 monthly electric bill (with the 75 ft motoryacht plugged in), 130K annual tax bill, 45K insurance bill.......the novelty soon wore off so he sold it for 8mm and bought a 3 bedroom condo for about 1.2mm.
Life happens! Some people like moving, some people cash out in hot markets, some people's dreams on paper don't turn out that way in reality.
I think my uncle's dream home started with the ambition to build the perfect house, then a couple years of enjoyment turned into a maintenance job (house maintenance as well as financial maintenance). It had 10 a/c units, 7 pool pumps, 2 heaters..........how long before that "new stuff" now needs replacement. The kitchen appliances were all expensive brands with sketchy reliability and of course needed factory train techs to work on them. It all added up to more bills. So by selling (cashing out) you ditch the mountain of bills/future bills and buy a new condo with all brand new stuff.
I have a lot of FOMO (fear of missing out). Everyone everywhere lives interesting lives in interesting homes and I want to experience all of it... the beach house, the urban loft, the mountain cabin, the hobby farm
Me too! That's why I figure we'll get a practical, small, easy maintenance home in an over 55 community close to the amenities that we need (medical, shopping) and then do a little traveling. A week at the beach here, 2 weeks in a mountain cabin there, maybe a long weekend in the city and even a stay at a working farm. I'm up for it all.
We don't have to cram it all into one year, we can take our time and do things as our budget allows. If our kids want to join us on an adventure that would be great.
I have a lot of FOMO (fear of missing out). Everyone everywhere lives interesting lives in interesting homes and I want to experience all of it... the beach house, the urban loft, the mountain cabin, the hobby farm
Other than the urban loft, we have owned most of those others over our lifetime. Be careful what you wish for...they rarely turn out like the dream.
Edit: I agree with springfielddva...rent is awesome for this!!
We’re in our 3rd place since my DH retired (I had already retired a few years earlier.)
1. Sold our big house in DFW area and moved to an amenity rich hotel condo in walkable area near a local train hub so if needed we’d have that for transport in addition to our cars. Loved the place but missed having a private yard for the dog….also all our neighbors still worked jobs so no real sense of community.
2. Kept the condo but 2 years later bought a house in Las Vegas area in a 55+ community. After 2 years decided we liked the community but not that house. So, sold that last summer….
3. Bought another house in same Las Vegas valley community. Like it much better but continue to look…maybe there’s another house out there even better!
I've spoken before about the eerie quiet of our Scottsdale neighborhood and the neighbors who seem to barricade themselves in their homes lest somebody try to speak to them.
I would happily sell the Scottsdale house. We could make an all-cash offer elsewhere in an area where there is actual community. We might even get closer to stores and restaurants. (The nearest grocery store is two miles away.) My spouse, Dr. No, opposes it.
Yes, we made a mistake. But I don't see how we could have predicted this. You don't get a chance to interview your neighbors before you make that big down payment.
So do you sit out on your lawn all day long or are you barricaded in the house?
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