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Ha! You do see those in the cemetery, though. One of my sisters does a lot of photographing of graves for Find-A-Grave as a hobby, and she says you can often see that the last family member buried in a plot left behind no one who cared to bother putting a death date on the marker.
Ha! You do see those in the cemetery, though. One of my sisters does a lot of photographing of graves for Find-A-Grave as a hobby, and she says you can often see that the last family member buried in a plot left behind no one who cared to bother putting a death date on the marker.
I just thought that meant it was a placeholder plot for a future death.
I just thought that meant it was a placeholder plot for a future death.
It is. My mother's name was on the plaque over my father's grave (the cemetery where they are doesn't have headstones, but rather bronze plaques). We finally got her name on this year because of COVID delays.
But some people with old birthdates dates never get their death date put on because no one is left who is close enough to see that it gets done. The childless maiden aunt, the weird brother, or just the last in a line that stayed in the area.They get buried but no one ever returns to the plot or ensures that the death date was added.
After photographing about 50,000 graves, it is just something she has noticed.
But some people with old birthdates dates never get their death date put on because no one is left who is close enough to see that it gets done. The childless maiden aunt, the weird brother,
You have a way of diminishing certain categories of people - I've seen it in your posts - recently you were ridiculing older people who do not want to stand on a step stool or older people who cannot do so - (which they wisely do not do since balance, flexibility, agility, strength, and judging distance can easily be issues) - and you said "can you imagine not being able to stand on a step stool?"
and now it's calling a woman "a childless maiden aunt" rather than "a woman on her own" or "a woman who worked all her life as a real estate agent or mortgage banker - no relatives currently living". Calling someone 'a childless maiden aunt' is old-fashioned and antiquated and also antiquated terminology, as is defining a woman mainly by whether she has children or not and by whether she is married or not or has been married or not. Would you call Condoleezza Rice a 'childless maiden woman' or a 'childless maiden aunt' and define her that way? Or call her 'the weird sister'?
It's something to be aware of.
Last edited by matisse12; 01-02-2022 at 10:30 PM..
You have a way of diminishing certain categories of people - I've seen it in your posts - recently you were ridiculing older people who do not want to stand on a step stool or older people who cannot do so - (which they wisely do not do since balance, flexibility, agility, strength, and judging distance can easily be issues) - and you said "can you imagine not being able to stand on a step stool?"
Excuse me? I vacillated between reporting this post as a personal attack or responding to it. I have chosen to respond, because while some of us dismiss your posts while we privately snicker at your carefully-cultivated City-Data personality of Sourpuss Extraordinaire, I will not allow you to continue making such a false accusation. I know of the post to which you refer, and there is no way anyone except someone looking for something that isn't there would possibly have read my post that way, which included the sentence "But that's serious, when you can't change a bulb because you are afraid to get up on the stepstool." , which you've chosen to rephrase in hope of supporting your false statement. Even if I phrased it the way you altered, it is unconscionable of you to try to make it seem as if it was otherwise intended.
It was clear that I was in complete sympathy with the situation of the friend whose father was so fearful of getting on a stepstool that he called his son from a thousand miles away. I let your smarmy remark go the first time because I knew anyone reading it would get what you were trying to do, and as I said, it was dismissible because it was you who said it. I am not a person who would ridicule someone for not being able to use a stepstool, and you are not going to get away with saying that twice. Do you understand?
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12
and now it's calling a woman "a childless maiden aunt" rather than "a woman on her own" or "a woman who worked all her life as a real estate agent or mortgage banker - no relatives currently living". Calling someone 'a childless maiden aunt' is old-fashioned and antiquated and also antiquated terminology, as is defining a woman mainly by whether she has children or not and by whether she is married or not or has been married or not. Would you call Condoleezza Rice a 'childless maiden woman' or a 'childless maiden aunt' and define her that way? Or call her 'the weird sister'?
You do not recognize the casual use of stereotypes for illustration? Of course no one would call Ms. Rice by those terms, as she is not illustrative of an obscure family member whose death will be so forgettable that no one will put a date on her grave marker. Be careful. You can hurt yourself stretching to such lengths to, again, make it sound as if someone meant something other than what they did.
You are way off base. Your cognitive ability is wildly misinterpreting what I said, my outlook, and me, and what I think.
It's getting more and more difficult to post much in Retirement forum due to the wildly wrong interpretations, and misinterpretations of what is said and posted. It rarely is worth posting due to the varying cognitive levels and lack of comprehension of what is written.
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12
It's something to be aware of.
Yes, it is. So either be aware of how you perceive the words of others or consider drawing a line at which you will stop making offensive and accusatory remarks. You are in no position to school others.
It is. My mother's name was on the plaque over my father's grave (the cemetery where they are doesn't have headstones, but rather bronze plaques). We finally got her name on this year because of COVID delays.
But some people with old birthdates dates never get their death date put on because no one is left who is close enough to see that it gets done. The childless maiden aunt, the weird brother, or just the last in a line that stayed in the area.They get buried but no one ever returns to the plot or ensures that the death date was added.
After photographing about 50,000 graves, it is just something she has noticed.
I'm thankful for people like your sister who photograph cemeteries. I've been on find a grave almost 10 years.
I started doing genealogy about 5 or 6 years ago. While researching relatives at a free online family tree site called family search, I'd come across various records for people with similar names, birth dates, that lived in the same town. In order to stop these record hints from showing, I started building trees for them, including going to find a grave to see if there's a memorial, sometimes I get the death record hint, sometimes it's a find a grave memorial hint. I then start trying to connect them to their relatives on find a grave. One of my goals when I started adding "our family" on find a grave, was to connect the families in death. It's like a family tree on their find a grave memorial.
I've found a few of these headstones where the year of birth was added but the death date was not. I've been able to at least contact the memorial owner to have them add the death information. It's sad that they were probably the one to make sure the last death date got entered on the headstone, but that their line died out, there was no one left to do it for them.
I've worried about my fathers brother living in our home country who chose a beautiful burial for my grandmother, then his long term girlfriend who recently passed was buried there too. There is no family left there, thankfully his GF's kids will make sure his info is inscribed in the stone with his mother and GF.
I'm thankful for people like your sister who photograph cemeteries. I've been on find a grave almost 10 years.
I started doing genealogy about 5 or 6 years ago. While researching relatives at a free online family tree site called family search, I'd come across various records for people with similar names, birth dates, that lived in the same town. In order to stop these record hints from showing, I started building trees for them, including going to find a grave to see if there's a memorial, sometimes I get the death record hint, sometimes it's a find a grave memorial hint. I then start trying to connect them to their relatives on find a grave. One of my goals when I started adding "our family" on find a grave, was to connect the families in death. It's like a family tree on their find a grave memorial.
I've found a few of these headstones where the year of birth was added but the death date was not. I've been able to at least contact the memorial owner to have them add the death information. It's sad that they were probably the one to make sure the last death date got entered on the headstone, but that their line died out, there was no one left to do it for them.
I've worried about my fathers brother living in our home country who chose a beautiful burial for my grandmother, then his long term girlfriend who recently passed was buried there too. There is no family left there, thankfully his GF's kids will make sure his info is inscribed in the stone with his mother and GF.
She is very much into genealogy, as I know you are. She has made contact with distant relatives. The latest is a man and his wife who are fourth cousins living in Scotland. We share the same ancestors from Manchester, and he has the same name as one of my brothers (common first and last names). They sent her a Christmas card this year! She is also in touch with a woman in the Netherlands who was married to some distant Dutch relative of ours, now divorced, but that woman has provided her with a lot of information from that side of the sea.
Because of her involvement, she has often photographed graves in cemeteries in northern NJ for other genealogists who have ancestors in the area but now live in far-flung parts of the country.
It is funny. As kids, we always went with my mother to cemeteries in Pennsylvania and New York when we went on vacations. There are so many hints of stories of lives long gone that you can pick up just looking at headstones.
She is very much into genealogy, as I know you are. She has made contact with distant relatives. The latest is a man and his wife who are fourth cousins living in Scotland. We share the same ancestors from Manchester, and he has the same name as one of my brothers (common first and last names). They sent her a Christmas card this year! She is also in touch with a woman in the Netherlands who was married to some distant Dutch relative of ours, now divorced, but that woman has provided her with a lot of information from that side of the sea.
Because of her involvement, she has often photographed graves in cemeteries in northern NJ for other genealogists who have ancestors in the area but now live in far-flung parts of the country.
It is funny. As kids, we always went with my mother to cemeteries in Pennsylvania and New York when we went on vacations. There are so many hints of stories of lives long gone that you can pick up just looking at headstones.
You're sister is a gem for all she does on find a grave.
My son has relatives in Scotland and England but I haven't met up with any of them online. There's on in Australia that works with one of the cousins I work on that line with.
I wish we had family here to do that. It stunk growing up without any family. No clue why we didn't see the grand kids of my mothers aunt since we're all the same ages. I've never met them except on Facebook.
I don't doubt that those Christmas cards were very special to her this year after having COVID. How is she doing?
You're sister is a gem for all she does on find a grave.
My son has relatives in Scotland and England but I haven't met up with any of them online. There's on in Australia that works with one of the cousins I work on that line with.
I wish we had family here to do that. It stunk growing up without any family. No clue why we didn't see the grand kids of my mothers aunt since we're all the same ages. I've never met them except on Facebook.
I don't doubt that those Christmas cards were very special to her this year after having COVID. How is she doing?
Pretty well, thank you for asking. She is back to work, from home, but she does not have the use of her pinky and ring finger on her left hand. It's neurological damage. She is a programmer, so it becomes a bit annoying because she needs to use a keyboard, but she's working around it. She also has permanent damage to her trachea from the tracheostomy they gave her. She was on the ventilator for two weeks, then when she came out of ICU, they removed the vent, which goes down through the nose into the throat, and cut an opening into her throat to thread the oxygen tube down her trachea that way. The trachea is narrowed as a result, so she has a slight raspy gasp to her voice when she speaks.
She has some "ground glass" scarring visible in her lungs still, but her blood sugar levels, which went up during COVID (she was not previously diabetic) have returned to normal, as has her red blood cell count, which went down when she was sick. She had a lot of brain fog and memory issues in her first few months of recovery but that seems to have resolved.
Her company had planned for everyone to return to their offices at the beginning of December, and she was a little nervous about that, but with the rise of Omicron, they told everyone to just work from home and that they will revisit returning to the office in the New Year. So far, she's still working from home. She will be 61 next week. So glad she made it. For a few weeks last spring, it looked as though I would lose my "little" sister.
I still get chills when I think about how my daughter wanted to visit my mother's grave for Easter. She had been unable to attend the funeral in March of 2020 because of COVID restrictions on number of people at the cemetery and travelers from out of state (my niece who lives just over the New York State border, about ten miles from the cemetery in NJ, was pulled over on her way to the funeral) and she wanted to visit Grandma's grave and leave a hyacinth. Meanwhile, my sister was in the ICU on the vent with less than a 50-50 chance to survive, and all I could think was "WILL SHE BE THERE NEXT TO MOM BY SUNDAY??"
But not only did my sister survive, but since then she made sure Mom's date of death has been added to the plaque over her and my Dad's grave. That was also something that couldn't be done in 2020 because of COVID!
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That was also something that couldn't be done in 2020 because of COVID!
