Old age regression to childish behaviors (60+, gay, relationship, support)
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I have a theory that old age has changed because of the changes in structure of society.
Elders used to be looked up to for wisdom and tradition and holding the family and community together. They had a place where they were respected, and being respected, they maintained a sense of respect for others and themselves. They were role models with responsibility.
Modern 'retirement' relocates them to areas where they have no responsibility and only interact with people their own age. They are not considered 'special' or 'treasured.' They revert back to being teenagers, behaving irresponsibly and socially immature.
I live in an area with a lot of retirees and snowbirds. I see this a lot. If a boat goes by with loud music blasting ... it aint the young folk. If a bicycle group is riding smack in the middle of the road, refusing to get out of the way of traffic? Ditto.
I would not call it a regression, just their normal behavior and they see nothing wrong with it.
I tend to agree with this. OP, they were probably always like that. Or there was an element of that in them, and maybe now that they have a tight group in the same facility, they egg each other on. taking their inherent meanness to new heights.
Haven't you known people, perhaps among childhood friends or relatives, who were self-centered as children and never outgrew it? Voila: the childish adult, even in old age. Some people don't mature much, and retain their childishness to one degree or another throughout their life.
In psychology, there is a psychological state about older people that a good number of older people become more of what they are as they age.
Many people, regardless of age, just have a tendency for jealousy and envy. They might use exclusion as
a weapon to deal with their resentment and anger, especially if they are outgoing and loud.
A lot of people are never prone to this type of behavior.
There are those who look at Ren Fests and scoff, saying, "I gave up dress up when I was 12!" and some might say similar with my attraction to belly dancing and witchcraft.
But sometimes, movies and TV say things that are rather true to the heart. Such as classical Star Trek where, in "Shore Leave", "The more advanced the mind, the more the need to play.".
Then there is "Red Planet" where Chantilas: I realized science couldn't answer any of the really interesting questions. So, I turned to philosophy. I've been searching for God ever since. Who knows, I may pick up a rock and it'll say underneath, "Made by God." The universe is full of surprises. (from imdb).
I think we are of the age where we are more free to find our answers in other places.
I have a theory that old age has changed because of the changes in structure of society.
Elders used to be looked up to for wisdom and tradition and holding the family and community together. They had a place where they were respected, and being respected, they maintained a sense of respect for others and themselves. They were role models with responsibility.
Modern 'retirement' relocates them to areas where they have no responsibility and only interact with people their own age. They are not considered 'special' or 'treasured.' They revert back to being teenagers, behaving irresponsibly and socially immature.
I live in an area with a lot of retirees and snowbirds. I see this a lot. If a boat goes by with loud music blasting ... it aint the young folk. If a bicycle group is riding smack in the middle of the road, refusing to get out of the way of traffic? Ditto.
I plan to be one of those old folks on that boat blasting the music and living it up - why the heck not? I will not however ride my bike in the middle of the road but I didn't do that as a kid, either, I'm not a jerk.
We can't all be white haired, wizened sages in old age.
I plan to be one of those old folks on that boat blasting the music and living it up - why the heck not? I will not however ride my bike in the middle of the road but I didn't do that as a kid, either, I'm not a jerk.
We can't all be white haired, wizened sages in old age.
Don’t confuse childISH behavior with childLIKE behavior.
I am talking only about such regression that is not related to actual biological changes.
For example, there was a senior community center where we used to live which provided low-cost lunches to senior citizens. (The one we live near now also has one.)
A newspaper letter to the editor there politely decried the hostile clique that repeatedly, obviously, and cruelly excluded her from joining their table at lunch. At first I thought, “She needs to ignore them and maybe form her own group. Bunch of women acting like 13-year-olds.”
Well! Only a week or so later, someone from The Mean Gals actually wrote a long and extremely nasty letter in response. The tone of that letter made it abundantly clear exactly why the first woman was upset. I had a hard time believing these women were all old, supposedly mature adults.
Have you seen other instances of regression towards juvenile behavior in otherwise normal seniors? Does not make me want to live in an age-restricted group at all.
And no, men are just as equally prone to regression!
The fact that a group of women get together for lunch, and are not interested in having a stranger to them, just move in and want to sit with them and reject her is normal. It really starts in Grade School, High School, and throughout the rest of their lives. They have a comfortable relationship with their friends and are not looking for someone to just move in and be there.
The fault is the outsider, who does not ask if she can join them, but just wants to move into a long-established friendship and be part of it.
What this interloper is doing, is not acceptable to groups like this one, no matter what the age is.
If you are having a pool party for half a dozen couples, would you want a stranger to walk through a gate and become part of the party?
If you are having a birthday party for a friend in a nice restaurant, would you want a stranger to plop themselves down at the table without being invited?
If you and your spouse are out at a nice restaurant for dinner. would you think it was proper for a man to just pull up a chair and join you?
All of those are equal to your example. Having an outsider just walk in and join a group in the above examples is the same thing as what you call mean women not wanting an outsider to just move in and sit down with long-established friends having an enjoyable meal.
What this interloper is doing, is not acceptable to groups like this one, no matter what the age is.
If you are having a pool party
If you are having a birthday party
If you and your spouse are out at a nice restaurant for dinner.
All of those are equal to your example.
Not the same at all. There's a difference between being invited to a private gathering and what the OP described.
The lone senior who walks into a senior center isn't an interloper. One of the primary purposes of these centers is to provide a sense of community, belonging etc. The only way that happens is when people are willing to mingle with strangers.
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