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or... we just do multiple homes in desireable destinations with different climate zones and seasons.
Go where the weather is best, or events are most attractive.
All homes have separate living space and fully stocked with food, clothes, vehicle. Jump on the plane and go. 2 hrs can get you 1200 miles away. (and SUNSHINE!!!) or snow if you prefer.
We can't do Facebook... no internet connectivity in the boonies (where it is QUIET).
Inquiring minds want to know: how many frequent-flier miles you've accumulated on Southwest?
My boyfriend and I considered a multigenerational home early on. He owned a home that his parents lived in with him. I owned a home. Neither of us has children, so there is no babysitting component. What there are is two aging people who had the bad luck to have poor investments and also to have owned a business that became technologically obsolete and valueless at the time they planned to retire. Hence, they live with BF.
But they have requirements. Like a 2-car garage. And two full bathrooms for them (mom won’t share one with dad). And a good sized yard for their dogs. In BF’s house, his folks occupy the master (which has two full baths), use a secondary bedroom as their TV room, and another secondary bedroom as his dad’s “office” and junk pile. My BF has a bedroom with a 3/4 bath by the kitchen.
When we went looking for the ideal One Big House - which would require selling both existing houses - we found exactly one property that would meet his folks’ requirements (two baths, not small, big yard, garage) and mine (I need to be able to have privacy). It was a compound with a main house and a large casita. And a workshop. And a separate 3-car garage. And a pool. And a view of the city.
And it was exactly twice what our self-imposed upper limit was on spending.
And even if we pulled the trigger (which we technically could have at the outer limits of a 30-year mortgage) I would have put in 75% to my BF’s 25% for the down payment. And I would have made 75% of the house payment for thirty years when my own home would have been paid off in five. It was a non-starter. I simply couldn’t take on that kind of debt in my 50s. And what would happen if BF were hit by a bus? Am I now responsible for housing his folks for the duration? Given our particular requirements, a Two House Solution isn’t only more affordable. It just makes more sense all around.
BF now lives with me and his parents are rattling around his 3,000 square foot house that he still pays for. We (BF and I) had started looking at smaller places in better parts of town for them, but when prices shot up along with mortgage rates we just shelved that idea. With current prices and rates, even downsizing them substantially wouldn’t result in any savings. Right now the plan is to just maintain the status quo until something changes substantially, namely, when one of them passes or has to go into a care setting of some kind. It’s a definite cross that bridge when we get to it situation, which is tough for a bias-for-action person like myself to get comfortable with. But I’m getting there.
My boyfriend and I considered a multigenerational home early on. He owned a home that his parents lived in with him. I owned a home. Neither of us has children, so there is no babysitting component. What there are is two aging people who had the bad luck to have poor investments and also to have owned a business that became technologically obsolete and valueless at the time they planned to retire. Hence, they live with BF.
But they have requirements. Like a 2-car garage. And two full bathrooms for them (mom won’t share one with dad). And a good sized yard for their dogs. In BF’s house, his folks occupy the master (which has two full baths), use a secondary bedroom as their TV room, and another secondary bedroom as his dad’s “office” and junk pile. My BF has a bedroom with a 3/4 bath by the kitchen.
When we went looking for the ideal One Big House - which would require selling both existing houses - we found exactly one property that would meet his folks’ requirements (two baths, not small, big yard, garage) and mine (I need to be able to have privacy). It was a compound with a main house and a large casita. And a workshop. And a separate 3-car garage. And a pool. And a view of the city.
And it was exactly twice what our self-imposed upper limit was on spending.
And even if we pulled the trigger (which we technically could have at the outer limits of a 30-year mortgage) I would have put in 75% to my BF’s 25% for the down payment. And I would have made 75% of the house payment for thirty years when my own home would have been paid off in five. It was a non-starter. I simply couldn’t take on that kind of debt in my 50s. And what would happen if BF were hit by a bus? Am I now responsible for housing his folks for the duration? Given our particular requirements, a Two House Solution isn’t only more affordable. It just makes more sense all around.
BF now lives with me and his parents are rattling around his 3,000 square foot house that he still pays for. We (BF and I) had started looking at smaller places in better parts of town for them, but when prices shot up along with mortgage rates we just shelved that idea. With current prices and rates, even downsizing them substantially wouldn’t result in any savings. Right now the plan is to just maintain the status quo until something changes substantially, namely, when one of them passes or has to go into a care setting of some kind. It’s a definite cross that bridge when we get to it situation, which is tough for a bias-for-action person like myself to get comfortable with. But I’m getting there.
People are so ungrateful to have requirements that they aren’t paying for. I can’t believe his parents are so entitled. Ugh!
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,726 posts, read 58,079,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
People are so ungrateful to have requirements that they aren’t paying for. I can’t believe his parents are so entitled. Ugh!
Familes are SO GREAT
SIL dropped in a couple yrs ago and stayed for a yr to WFH in our house. (income tax free state)
That was fine... Until her Adult son (ex-con) showed up (W/O our permission or knowledge). He had been sent up for sexual internet crime with minors, Porn, and phishing, and illegal emoney exchanges.
(We were traveling), I logged into our account, and Our ISP suddenly 100x increase in utilization (all after midnight), so I raised hxll... "what's going on that 3 of us WFH / trade stocks, ...and all the sudden a 100x increase?"(I pay per byte.)
SIL, "I DUNNO" "What business is it of YOURS?"
I locked them out of ISP (passwords)
They moved away and wouldn't speak, except to say... "I always knew you hated my kid!"
OK... (not true), but I needed that 30+ YO kid OUT!!!
11 Month's later... still stuck with increased costs (~$5,000) due to her 'short and free (for her) stay'
No access to internet from the previous (and only) ISP, as my acct was banned (while I was away from home).
Families are SO GREAT...
Deal with it (well and abruptly).
All are still welcome, but there are a few rules.
No grace ... ZERO.
Mess up?
You're gone.
Intergenerational might be easier with someone else's family
We always 'traded kids' during adolescence. My kid will probably work harder for a nieghbor. Getting fired as a 12 yr old might help develop better work habits. Plus... I don't have to be upset with my own kid++. Good training for all (and a lot more work got done).
Yeah, I would have told them they get what they get; beggars can't be choosers. I sure wouldn't marry this guy, he's a yes man to his own detriment.
I totally agree with you! Actually I would give them a deadline to apply for low income housing and to move out. They can get jobs but I wouldn’t be supporting 2 adults especially since they are demanding.
Yes, I think that can work out nicely - parents need more and more help as they get older and especially if they are single, may have needs for companionship as well. It can be difficult for kids, even if they don't live too far, to visit frequently to provide this care themselves. Professional services for senior care, can be quite expensive over time. So this kind of home can be more affordable as well as convenient, and provide better quality of life.
All this said, it's still subject to the personal dynamics of the particular family. It's not rare for there to be tensions within families, and if these are strong, then these stresses can outweigh the above benefits.
I don't know often this is done, but I have read of seniors who provide a living space in an attached apartment in exchange for part time services from a home health aid.
Last edited by OutdoorLover; 11-03-2023 at 02:12 PM..
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(I pay per byte.)
"What business is it of YOURS?"
