Who will take care of you if you don't have kids? (conversation, marriage)
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One of the posts on this topic quoted a study saying 70% of people over 65 need care in their later years. I have read studies estimating 20%. My experience with family members is that very few people need care. My condo building has many seniors that are 80 plus still living alone and managing their own affairs fine.
The care industry is trying to scare people into buying into expensive ccrc’s saying it’s inevitable you will need one. It’s fine if you have the money and want to do it but most people are fine without one. Even the nicest ones can be depressing.
One of the posts on this topic quoted a study saying 70% of people over 65 need care in their later years. I have read studies estimating 20%. My experience with family members is that very few people need care. My condo building has many seniors that are 80 plus still living alone and managing their own affairs fine.
The care industry is trying to scare people into buying into expensive ccrc’s saying it’s inevitable you will need one. It’s fine if you have the money and want to do it but most people are fine without one. Even the nicest ones can be depressing.
The study said 70% of people over 65 will need some type of l-t care, which I believe. Yes, there will be some that don’t need it. The problem is regardless of the stats, you may be one of those that needs it. It saddens me to see denial on this issue by so many. As someone else pointed out, this is a huge problem in the U.S. and needs to be addressed. I don’t think the care industry is trying to scare anyone, they are trying to offer solutions and good for them. 2 of our 4 parents needed l-t care. Neither thought they would need it.
The study said 70% of people over 65 will need some type of l-t care, which I believe. Yes, there will be some that don’t need it. The problem is regardless of the stats, you may be one of those that needs it. It saddens me to see denial on this issue by so many. As someone else pointed out, this is a huge problem in the U.S. and needs to be addressed. I don’t think the care industry is trying to scare anyone, they are trying to offer solutions and good for them. 2 of our 4 parents needed l-t care. Neither thought they would need it.
I am not in denial as I have been a social worker. Sure anyone could need it myself included but most people do not. I set myself up to age in place in a condo with an elevator. That’s what my mom and aunt did after their husbands died. My mom spent a week in care at 89 and my aunt died at 96. Now with home delivery services it’s easier than ever to remain at home.
My dad had a massive stroke at 59 and my mom cared for him with my help for 14 years. If my mom had died first he would have ended up in a nursing home. I have been married 3 times and only one of my in-laws needed a home and that’s because she had dementia. The majority of seniors won’t need care.
I am not in denial as I have been a social worker. Sure anyone could need it myself included but most people do not. I set myself up to age in place in a condo with an elevator. That’s what my mom and aunt did after their husbands died. My mom spent a week in care at 89 and my aunt died at 96. Now with home delivery services it’s easier than ever to remain at home.
My dad had a massive stroke at 59 and my mom cared for him with my help for 14 years. If my mom had died first he would have ended up in a nursing home. I have been married 3 times and only one of my in-laws needed a home and that’s because she had dementia. The majority of seniors won’t need care.
Please note this was a general comment and not meant specifically for you. Not sure what the best word is, denial, apathy or whatever. In any regard, it is a serious issue and should be addressed while we still have the capacity to do so. BTW, I have discovered there is someone known as a geriatric case manager who can assist the elderly. I’m going to look into this.
I am not in denial as I have been a social worker. Sure anyone could need it myself included but most people do not. I set myself up to age in place in a condo with an elevator. That’s what my mom and aunt did after their husbands died. My mom spent a week in care at 89 and my aunt died at 96. Now with home delivery services it’s easier than ever to remain at home.
My dad had a massive stroke at 59 and my mom cared for him with my help for 14 years. If my mom had died first he would have ended up in a nursing home. I have been married 3 times and only one of my in-laws needed a home and that’s because she had dementia. The majority of seniors won’t need care.
There is a rise in Type II diabetes which, unfortunately, has a strong risk of developing dementia later in life. Things are only going to get worse if there isn't a cure. There is a wave of dementia just waiting to slam full force into this country. And when it does, it's going to be a mess.
There is no way that the people who are complaining about paying off their own student loans or how unfair it is that society doesn't pay them to be stay at home parents is going to be dealing well with what's coming.
Over time it has gotten easier for seniors to stay in their homes. More businesses that help are available than in the past.
Grocery delivery
Uber
Barbers/hairdressers that come to the home.
Health aides
Meals on Wheels
Library delivery for books and movies
Vets and groomers that come to the home
R U O K in many areas
Emergency buttons that you wear
Urgent Care that comes to the homes
It would help if people would plan now before they need help.
Wise man.
I've often mused I could move to Sun City if I'm left without my husband. I'm glad you mentioned this.
- Spouse / Partner
- Sibling(s)
- Other family (nieces/nephews)
- Home care / Aides
- Independent Living
- Assisted living
- Nursing home
- (eventually in the future) Robots!
While I, as the child, had no obligation to take care of my mom, I gladly did so when she became ill.
Was it hard? Yes. But I consider caregiving as a way of giving back for all the years my mother cared for me. I don't expect my kids to feel the same way and didn't have kids with the expectation that they'd be caregivers, but I hope they realize that in some way morally we should be there for our parents.
That's just my philosophy. My mom took care of my grandmother, so I learned from example.
While I, as the child, had no obligation to take care of my mom, I gladly did so when she became ill.
Was it hard? Yes. But I consider caregiving as a way of giving back for all the years my mother cared for me. I don't expect my kids to feel the same way and didn't have kids with the expectation that they'd be caregivers, but I hope they realize that in some way morally we should be there for our parents.
That's just my philosophy. My mom took care of my grandmother, so I learned from example.
I don’t think most of the younger generation has the same mindset, in terms of providing assistance for elderly parents, that we did. Of course, there are exceptions.
I don't have children, am almost 70, husband older, both of us healthy at this time.
Having seen old age in our parents and grandparents I don't 100% agree having adult kids offers care and protection to elders.
Only 1 of our 4 parents had adult children involved in their care. 2 of 4 died suddenly, one had heart attack in hospital, other was aneurysm at home.
Dementia and Alzheimers presents the biggest longterm eldercare cost and concern IMO.
But every year we live without that appearing is a very good year.
Women should really be the ones most worried about getting care in old age because they are the ones who will assist their male partner if needed or pay for private care/nursing home and lose that money they thought was their safety net.
That money might be long gone when they need assisted living or nursing home if the husband needs care first.
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