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Happened to me again today. But then I see how the poor lady lives - always some tragedy after another - very little income - but then always going out to eat. But that is another story -
Hey that is not their job. Have them if you want them and then set them free to have a life.
They will come back without you basically forcing that on them.
Happened to me again today. But then I see how the poor lady lives - always some tragedy after another - very little income - but then always going out to eat. But that is another story -
Hey that is not their job. Have them if you want them and then set them free to have a life.
They will come back without you basically forcing that on them.
Be prepared - have your plans. Save some money.
Agreed. It is not your children's responsibility to take care of their elderly parents. Don't place this burden on them.
Under glorious socialism the collective State will tax "other people's children" to pay for your retirement pension.
Except that socialism triggered a collapse in the birthrate, which does not bode well.
Before socialism, one's old age security was based on either private charity or one's family (i.e. children), hence the preference for many children - to help spread the burden.
FWIW - saving "dollar bills" for one's rainy day is futile, since the gubmint will debauch them and tax them back.
If you don't have a big family, try to get adopted by one. . .
And I truly don't care at this point. I have had many good (and bad) experiences in my life, and based on what others have suffered, I feel very fortunate to be 70 with no MAJOR problems of any kind.
I do have a living will to cover "end of life" medical situations if my husband dies before I do, but I hope -- and I "know" this will probably not happen -- that by the time I am 80 or so, that everyone can fill out a form to give "the state" permission to either euthanize them or allow them to die "naturally" but painlessly, so that I am not placed in a nursing home against my will. However, as that is not likely to happen, I figure that at least I have had a mostly good life and if my last few years are a living hell, I will still come out ahead.
P.S. I truly do wish that there was some kind of reduced insurance rates for people who sign a DNR or leave a living will indicate that they don't want any kind of life-saving measures in certain circumstances and/or after a specified age.
Happened to me again today. But then I see how the poor lady lives - always some tragedy after another - very little income - but then always going out to eat. But that is another story -
Hey that is not their job. Have them if you want them and then set them free to have a life.
They will come back without you basically forcing that on them.
Be prepared - have your plans. Save some money.
The early settlers and pioneers in this country came here on boats with little more than the clothes on their backs. They left their elderly parents and grandparents behind to seek out a life free from oppression in this country.
Early immigration into this country was a young person's game, not something a frail, elderly person would have ever attempted.
Look at all of the illegals flooding into this country. They are almost all young, some have young children. I don't see them carrying their elderly family members into this country on stretchers.
This idea that there is a long, long history of Americans giving up their lives to tend to their elderly infirm family members just does not hold water. In fact, historically the old have expected their children to seek out better opportunities for themselves.
And in answer to the question, my husband and I will take care of each other and ourselves to the best of our abilities. That includes being proactive and getting ourselves into a living situation where we can successfully age in place for as long as possible. Yes, we have children but that is not why we had them.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,550 posts, read 81,117,303 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizap
Agreed. It is not your children's responsibility to take care of their elderly parents. Don't place this burden on them.
While I agree, it would be rare. Most of us do end up taking care of our parents. In our case both my Mom and my mother in law, both deceased now, but made it to 94 and 95. For example, mother in law, making the arrangements for assisted living, paying for the first few months, and doing the paperwork again every year for Medicaid, taking her to medical appointments, then driving to "the home" to visit every Sunday for 13 years. One of my brothers did the same for our Mom, as he lived in the same city and the rest of us were 3-14 hours away.
With no children, there are younger (or healthier) spouses, siblings, or good friends. With a good income, people can hire professional help to take care of all the arrangements.
The early settlers and pioneers in this country came here on boats with little more than the clothes on their backs. They left their elderly parents and grandparents behind to seek out a life free from oppression in this country.
Early immigration into this country was a young person's game, not something a frail, elderly person would have ever attempted.
Look at all of the illegals flooding into this country. They are almost all young, some have young children. I don't see them carrying their elderly family members into this country on stretchers.
This idea that there is a long, long history of Americans giving up their lives to tend to their elderly infirm family members just does not hold water. In fact, historically the old have expected their children to seek out better opportunities for themselves.
And in answer to the question, my husband and I will take care of each other and ourselves to the best of our abilities. That includes being proactive and getting ourselves into a living situation where we can successfully age in place for as long as possible. Yes, we have children but that is not why we had them.
The reason early pioneers came alone was because untill very recently, the average human lifespan was under 50. There simply wasn't very many elderly to leave behind
The early settlers and pioneers in this country came here on boats with little more than the clothes on their backs. They left their elderly parents and grandparents behind to seek out a life free from oppression in this country.
Early immigration into this country was a young person's game, not something a frail, elderly person would have ever attempted.
Look at all of the illegals flooding into this country. They are almost all young, some have young children. I don't see them carrying their elderly family members into this country on stretchers.
This idea that there is a long, long history of Americans giving up their lives to tend to their elderly infirm family members just does not hold water. In fact, historically the old have expected their children to seek out better opportunities for themselves.
And in answer to the question, my husband and I will take care of each other and ourselves to the best of our abilities. That includes being proactive and getting ourselves into a living situation where we can successfully age in place for as long as possible. Yes, we have children but that is not why we had them.
There are plenty of legal immigrants around. Petition for family based Green Card for parents and siblings as soon as you have your Green Card. Change priority once you have citizenship. Medicare is available once they meet age and residency requirements.
The reason early pioneers came alone was because untill very recently, the average human lifespan was under 50. There simply wasn't very many elderly to leave behind
Yes, the average lifespan was lower back then. But, again, that would indicate that they were not taking care of their elderly family members - either their family members had already died or they had left their elderly family members behind. That wasn't because they didn't love their elderly family members, it was because they wanted to seek a better life for themselves and their children - and the elderly family members understood that.
This business of adult children clearing out their elderly parents' houses and getting them downsized into assisted living or bringing them into their own homes is a fairly recent thing.
Now there are people complaining about their parents' jam packed houses and trying to figure out if they need to rent dumpsters, hire junk haulers and estate sales people in order to get the house cleared out so that they can sell it to afford their parents' assisted living expenses. Fun times. "A Place for Mom".
That is a relatively new phenomenon and one that I will be sparing my own kids.
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