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Depends on the state, and available beds. We've helped hundreds of needy get into veterans homes. Just yesterday as a matter of fact. A dependent spouse of a veteran with no service related conditions. Was no problem, for which we were all grateful. Often there is a financial need requirement, and often there is a wait list. Sometimes a residency must be established first, since these are state funded facilities.
Never hurts to explore all options.
As a former social worker believe me I know the local resources and how to explore all options. Maybe you don’t have as many people needing services since it’s a rural area versus where I live. Anyway it’s a moot point now because at almost 70 I’m done helping others. I have done that for years in my personal life and now it’s my time to enjoy the time I have left.
It is my belief that the best gift you can give your adult children is the gift of not having the burden for caring for their elderly parents.
I agree....to a point. Taking them to appointments, getting groceries, doing odds and ends around the house. Those are all things I think that children would WANT (at least be asked) to do for them. I don't want my kids to have to take care of me, but it warms my heart to know that when they grow up they'll expect that I ask them first.
Having kids is no guarantee of being taken care of. I've been working in nursing homes for over 25 years. In all homes, 99% or so of residents have kids. Yet they are still in the nursing home.
We are living longer, and many of those longer years are spent wandering around in a demented daze, kept alive up by an array of medicines and medical treatments.
It's one thing to take care of Mama for a year or two before she passes. Quite another to care for her for a decade or two as she wanders from room to room, looking for her own Mama. It's a lot to expect of families.
For the last 40 or so years, we've tried Assisted Living Facilities, at an average cost of around $6K - $10K a month. Few retirees can afford this for long, and to expect taxpayers to pick up this tab is a lot to expect.
Many would prefer to live independently, or at least create the facade of independence with family members and home care aides picking up the slack. It starts out with driving them to medical appts, home repairs, and lawn care, and progresses through meals, shopping, housecleaning, and eventually personal cares. I've been through this, and I can assure you, it is a lot to expect.
Those who don't have children to help with all this are SOL.
My mom, a very independent woman, always said she would just die in her sleep. Well, it didn't work out that way. She needed round-the clock care the last 2 years of her life. She had the means to remain in her home with nursing staff. My father-in-law had vascular dementia and ended up in a nursing home for 10 years. So, the reality is we don't know what the future will bring. All we can do is prepare the best we can.
Having kids is no guarantee of being taken care of. I've been working in nursing homes for over 25 years. In all homes, 99% or so of residents have kids. Yet they are still in the nursing home.
I agree with this as well! It all depends on how you raised them and how the world (and you) treated them when they left your house
I agree with this as well! It all depends on how you raised them and how the world (and you) treated them when they left your house
If your kids have homes, spouses, children and jobs of their own we, as their parents, have to be realistic as to how available they can possibly be for us.
A person requiring 24/7 supervision in a nursing home is probably exactly where they need to be.
I agree with this as well! It all depends on how you raised them and how the world (and you) treated them when they left your house
Not necessarily. Our daughter was raised well, but has the values of neither one of us. She met and married the wrong person, and it has changed her life forever, and not in a positive way.
If your kids have homes, spouses, children and jobs of their own we, as their parents, have to be realistic as to how available they can possibly be for us.
A person requiring 24/7 supervision in a nursing home is probably exactly where they need to be.
I can agree with this too. See, I am on the other side of this - I am a young woman who is trying to think of this topic from MY side rather than a parental side. I also have kids of my own and know I don't want to burden them. But....if my daddy was still alive, I would DEFINITELY insist on taking care of him before anyone else. That's all I am getting at with my posts.
I agree with this as well! It all depends on how you raised them and how the world (and you) treated them when they left your house
I wouldn't say it depends how you treated them. We have lots of residents who have good relationships with their kids. But the kids can't always do it. in some cases, the kids live across the country or just can't do it. I helped my mom out, but when it came time that she couldn't remain in her home, we placed her in ALF. I lived in a second floor one-bedroom apartment and worked full time. If you have a husband and wife, and wife is SAHM, you can do it, but for single people it's harder. In a lot of the cases today, the kids have their own health problems even in their 50's and 60's. We discharged a patient around 70 who was a mess physically, and she went to live with her 90-some year old mother, so that the mother could take care of her.
I can agree with this too. See, I am on the other side of this - I am a young woman who is trying to think of this topic from MY side rather than a parental side. I also have kids of my own and know I don't want to burden them. But....if my daddy was still alive, I would DEFINITELY insist on taking care of him before anyone else. That's all I am getting at with my posts.
I took care of my mom the last 2 years of her life. She had help, and was able to stay in her own home, but it was still extremely difficult on me. I wouldn't have had it any other way, but it was very hard.
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