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#40, how sad. My youngest son, an HVAC technician, retirees often ask for him, they have to wait 2 months. He first, he tells the new trainees, is to gain their trust. To engage a few minutes of their time, note something of interest in their home.
Know business people myself, if a line, I'm chatting, I move on. Appreciate the time given to me, And will return for good customer service. Take a few minutes, Not 25, 30 minutes.
#40, how sad. My youngest son, an HVAC technician, retirees often ask for him, they have to wait 2 months. He first, he tells the new trainees, is to gain their trust. To engage a few minutes of their time, note something of interest in their home.
What do you mean by this exactly?
I try to treat all people equally, but if they're commanding more of my time than it's worth (whatever the reason, not just money), they're going to be pushed aside for something of better value. What you're describing above sounds sort of slimy and low, if I'm reading it correctly.
I live in a 55+ "geezer ghetto"where I am surrounded by my peers. I tend to ignore what goes on "outside".
There are a number of clubs and organizations for the residents. This is a condo where the maintenance crew does the grounds keeping.
I will never go back to an "all age community".
While I live in a CCRC, surrrounded by people age 60 plus, I do make an effort to be involved outside my community and continue to maintain friendships from before our move.
There will come a time when my world will be restricted to my immediate community.
When we lived in an all age community, we had little to do with neighbors other than those with children the ages of our children. Day to day life was too busy.
I'll chime in with some opinions from a 'younger' person who is not retired (I'm in my 40s, so between young & old).
I think a lot of the separation between generations, and particularly between working and retired people, is the time factor. Retired people have all the time in the world and nowhere they really have to be, and to a younger person still in their productive years it can be frustrating or even downright costly to have to deal with someone who no longer lives life on a schedule or works for a living.
As an example I occasionally get old timers in my shop who engage in far too much chit chat and storytelling, sometimes they don't even place an order...they just want to socialize. I try to be polite, but honestly they are wasting my time when I have a ton of work to do. I had one just last week who commanded a good 20-30 minutes of my time over a matter that should have been wrapped up in five minutes. In a business sense, she has already cost me more in wasted time than the value of what she wants to order. If she comes back again, I'm going to (politely) send her elsewhere.
So I think one issue might be the time suck, whether in business or social interactions. No one wants to get trapped by someone who has nothing to do/nowhere to be, and wants to talk.
I saw a bumper sticker once, something liked "I'm retired. No watch, no time clock. Go around me." Kinda dickish, in my opinion. If you're driving slow that's one thing, but if you're in line at a store chatting about nonsense with the clerk while five people are waiting behind you...not cool. I see this quite a bit with older people.
I do not know what service you provide. However, the old geezers could be doing a lot of word of mouth with all that chit chatting they do and sending you an endless stream of customers. I am not sure you should throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Maybe it also has something to do with where you live or how the others were raised. I lived in CA almost my whole life until I moved to TN. In CA, people always seemed to be in a hurry, especially me. There were always a lot of people, lots of others waiting, everyone in a hurry, can't waste time, etc. When I visited the south in my youth, I couldn't figure out why everyone there was moving so slow!
Now that I live in the south, everyone has time to talk. No one's in a hurry. Even younger folks seem to have a few minutes to talk to an old lady, and they were raised to respect the elderly, so it's "Yes, Ma'am" and "Hello there, Miss TheShadow, how are you today?" And they actually listen for a bit, plus I don't like to waste people's time, so I do get right to business after a few pleasantries. Workers in our home are often very chatty with us. People who don't think you saw them, will actually wave and smile to get your attention, even when you're just driving past them down the neighborhood streets. It's a different world. I like it.
I have a friend who's 74 and she and 3 other white-haired ladies are having an extended vacation, 3 months visiting several towns in Italy. Everywhere they go they are treated especially well, and people are glad to talk to "the 4 American Roses" as the gentleman call them. The pictures of the trip that they are posting are so cute with all the locals smiling and buying them drinks, posing with them for selfies, just generally being wonderful to these 4 old ladies on holiday. No problem with invisibility there.
I was really pleased on my last visit back in CA with the family. The nieces and nephews who often ignored their middle-aged Auntie are actually now going out of their way to spend time with me as they recognize that their parents and I are getting older. We actually have long conversations, and they listen to advice, or want to know more about the past. Now that they are in their 40s, we have more in common I guess, and they can relate a little more to real world topics where our interests overlap. Either that or they're hoping to shine up their inheritance potential... LOL.
Last edited by TheShadow; 04-09-2024 at 07:41 AM..
i think my wife did something to my wedding band .
it’s like it has gps tracking , knows what i am eating , detects women’s perfume and the worst part is it makes me invisible to hot chicks
OMG that is a keeper!
I was drafted into the army in 1968 and spent 1968-1969 in Vietnam as a combat medic with the First Infantry Division just north of Saigon.
Like many vets I sometimes wear a baseball cap that reads "Vietnam Veteran First Infantry Division" and when I see someone under 40 do they view me as a part of ancient history?
I saw a bumper sticker once, something liked "I'm retired. No watch, no time clock. Go around me." Kinda dickish, in my opinion. If you're driving slow that's one thing, but if you're in line at a store chatting about nonsense with the clerk while five people are waiting behind you...not cool.
You COULD tell the chatty customer: Nice talking to you, but I need to tend to the customers behind you.
I've mentioned my grandmother before. She's 87 - she no longer drives and lives a few doors down from my aunt, who still works full-time.
She always complains about how she "never goes anywhere or sees anyone." My mom takes her out at least once a week to get her "hair done," and for any medical appointments. Aunt will often take her to dinner. She goes to church on Sundays when she feels like, but there is constant complaining about never seeing anyone.
She sold her house that she had since 1967 back in 2020. She sold her car because she was tired of paying the auto insurance. Aunt had her move into the unincorporated county where there are no transit service or anything like that. That area is more geared toward young families than the very elderly who don't drive and are mobility limited. If you get to the point where you can't drive, your world becomes very small.
They didn't seem to consider this when she moved.
If you want to be "seen," sometimes you have to be where people can see you, outside the walls of your home or car.
Some of that would be location dependent. I certainly hope it wouldn't be the case in your local community, where some of the younger crowd should know, or at least recognize, you.
One could always dress more flamboyantly if they wanted to draw more attention. An old white guy, average height with short hair and conservative dress, well yeah he's likely to be overlooked at times.
I'm usually among the tallest or the tallest person in a room, so difficult to be invisible here.
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