Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We would be ok if we downsized but would have to give up some things we enjoy..like cutting down on travel...going out etc etc
My problem is he wants to go south of which if I have to live there year round I will become a mole in my house during the hot months...I hate heat & humidity..makes me quite grouchy. I'd rather be snowed in sitting by a fire, he would rather be fishing when it's 100 degrees out.....if only he wanted Maine there would be no problem...lol
The only concession he has made to me so far is if we move south it must be coastal not right on water but close....he wanted inland.....hotter still...no way
I agree with you about the heat, we have learned to stay indoors or be at the beach or somewhere else during the summer. Some of the questions your husband may be dealing with are more long term and how much will your retirement income grow over the years and just how much trade off in current lifestyle will be needed to be ok and how long will ok be the operating term? New Jersey has considerable financial issues and already residents are highly taxed. Christie is trying to balance the budget with spending cut but will they be enough and will citizens get tired in reductions of services and become more tax friendly down the road?
We are already having disagreements..I do NOT want to leave where I now live and move hundreds of miles away where I will know not a soul...I do not want to move away from my kids and grand kids...
He is adamant about moving south....I'm almost thinking seperate residences..we can visit each other...lol
Who is retiring? Both of you or just him? I'm just wondering if you already have a stay-at-home routine you aren't interested in changing. If that's the case, you might get the best advice from a wife in the same boat. I have to think retirement stresses are different for couples when both retire from their careers as opposed to a retiring spouse when the other didn't work outside of the home. I've heard (and read) more retirement stories about the latter scenario but since I haven't experienced it myself it's better that you hear it from women who have that experience.
We would be ok if we downsized but would have to give up some things we enjoy..like cutting down on travel...going out etc etc
My problem is he wants to go south of which if I have to live there year round I will become a mole in my house during the hot months...I hate heat & humidity..makes me quite grouchy. I'd rather be snowed in sitting by a fire, he would rather be fishing when it's 100 degrees out.....if only he wanted Maine there would be no problem...lol
The only concession he has made to me so far is if we move south it must be coastal not right on water but close....he wanted inland.....hotter still...no way
Is he tired of the congestion and congestion and more congestion of the 95 corridor above Richmond?
My problem is he wants to go south of which if I have to live there year round I will become a mole in my house during the hot months...I hate heat & humidity..makes me quite grouchy.
The "hot months" are not the issue in the south. In fact, summers in the north can be just as hot and humid - even more so. I spent 26 years living in Florida and 25 years living in Maryland/D.C. Summers in D.C. (especially August!) are much, much worse than summers in Florida. The problem with Florida (at least southern Florida) is that the heat and humidity is almost year round.
Who is retiring? Both of you or just him? I'm just wondering if you already have a stay-at-home routine you aren't interested in changing. If that's the case, you might get the best advice from a wife in the same boat. I have to think retirement stresses are different for couples when both retire from their careers as opposed to a retiring spouse when the other didn't work outside of the home. I've heard (and read) more retirement stories about the latter scenario but since I haven't experienced it myself it's better that you hear it from women who have that experience.
I work outside the home as well. I am not ready to retire, my husband works for a major pharmecutical that will be making that choice of retirement for him. He just turned 60 and said he will not get on that merry go round of looking for another job @60..he will get a decent severance....
I on the other hand do not want to be "forced" into retirement because he wants to move 1000 miles away.... I'm 56 don't want to be looking for another job down in the southland at more than likely 25k less than I make here and I'm not staying home with hubbie all day..lord we would kill one another...lol
I work outside the home as well. I am not ready to retire, my husband works for a major pharmecutical that will be making that choice of retirement for him. He just turned 60 and said he will not get on that merry go round of looking for another job @60..he will get a decent severance....
I on the other hand do not want to be "forced" into retirement because he wants to move 1000 miles away.... I'm 56 don't want to be looking for another job down in the southland at more than likely 25k less than I make here and I'm not staying home with hubbie all day..lord we would kill one another...lol
So, why doesn't he take his retirement money and find a small apartment in Florida, you can keep right on working until you are ready to retire. In the meantime, you could sell your property, split the money and move to a place suitable for yourself.
Maybe you'll catch up with each other later. Cuz it certainly doesn't sound as if this is headed in a good direction as the parameters stand for you two now.
I work outside the home as well. I am not ready to retire, my husband works for a major pharmecutical that will be making that choice of retirement for him. He just turned 60 and said he will not get on that merry go round of looking for another job @60..he will get a decent severance....
I on the other hand do not want to be "forced" into retirement because he wants to move 1000 miles away.... I'm 56 don't want to be looking for another job down in the southland at more than likely 25k less than I make here and I'm not staying home with hubbie all day..lord we would kill one another...lol
Agghhhh now the variables that are really the driving forces. Sounds like this MIGHT be a forced retirement that is forcing your hand one way or the other and something is going to have to give with him finding another job or cutting back to stay or moving to be comfortable at your current level. Will you be comfortable working and not spending? Your situation is being played out across America the last couple of years and will be continuing as our economy continues to transition to the 21st century.
Agghhhh now the variables that are really the driving forces. Sounds like this MIGHT be a forced retirement that is forcing your hand one way or the other and something is going to have to give with him finding another job or cutting back to stay or moving to be comfortable at your current level. Will you be comfortable working and not spending? Your situation is being played out across America the last couple of years and will be continuing as our economy continues to transition to the 21st century.
Yes that is about the nail on the head.....some good suggestions here..will have to toss the suggestions around...
In any case we aren't going anywhere until the house is put on the market & sold....
I kind of like banking a lot of the money and trying the RV thing for awhile....great way to see the country
I on the other hand do not want to be "forced" into retirement because he wants to move 1000 miles away.... I'm 56 don't want to be looking for another job down in the southland at more than likely 25k less than I make here and I'm not staying home with hubbie all day..lord we would kill one another...lol
I think it is great that you enjoy your job. Unfortunately, it also sounds like you are set on working and have nothing else to look forward to. That seems very sad.
Certainly my idea of retirement is not staying at home with the spouse all day. I don't have the patience to just sit around the house. I have known too many people who wasted their time on drinking and/or TV. I drink very little and have decided to give up that form of entertainment. We are giving away the spare TV set next week. The last one will go out when we move. Retirement plans include: RV travel, photography which also involves lots of digital darkroom work, hiking, archery, blackpowder rifles and other outdoor activities. I want to be able to do Osher Lifelong Learning programs. Literally, down the road, I hope to have time for some teaching and am considering photography at a semi-pro level. My wife has all the same interests except archery and blackpowder. She reads more and wants to do more writing. She is going to start again with watercolors. I don't know how to fit in a fraction of what we want to do.
We have an ongoing joke at my house about sitting around the fire on a snowy winter day. Once I go to the trouble of having a fire, everyone seems to leave the room. I tote firewood for a while and then give up and the fire just smolders.
I kind of like banking a lot of the money and trying the RV thing for awhile....great way to see the country
I would not advise this unless you really understand what you are getting into. If you think you would have a tough time retiring and spending time with a spouse then think twice about an RV. We are actually getting one so small it fits on the back of a pickup truck.
Banking a lot of money also means getting rid of the costly NJ house and living as a full time RVer. I am not sure I was ready for that idea, although my wife thinks it should work easily. I am researching being a South Dakota resident - no income tax, no vehicle inspection, etc. I never even knew how USPS general delivery works. Soon Optimum cable will be gone and I will live with a gmail account and maybe monthly mail general delivery to the nearest post office. Of course that will mean only local travel until the mail arrives. Then there are banking issues, prescription drugs, medical coverage and a host of other issues to resolve.
It sounds like you are at a really serious crossroads. I guess you got there earlier than expected but now it is decision time. My wife and I (sometimes) want to enjoy our lives together as we approach retirement. She is bending a long way to get past the downsizing and moving issues. She is also excited about new adventures. I am trying to compromise as well, but that is not easy. I long ago decided that I could not continue working years on end so we could afford to live in a place with a cost of living 1.67 times the national average. I am finished with the congestion and 40 hours of commuting time/month has taken a permanent toll on my perspective. Recent vacations in the southern Utah and in Oregon has made it impossible to consider living on Long Island as an acceptable existence. You will need to make those hard decisions about what the future brings. So many times in my life, it seems that events determine the future and my choices have been limited. This is one of those key times when the future will change based on making definite choices. Best of luck with your decisions.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
