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Here is the 'dilemma' where I find myself stuck, but not sure why.
I am 46, single, employed - remotely these days - in a job that provides a paycheck. I fully own my current home in Charlotte, North Carolina. I have friends and hobbies and had a full life prior to Covid.
I grew up in TN and my parents, who are now 75, live in Tullahoma, TN...aka sleepy, peaceful middle TN town about 1.5 hours to Nashville. We have a great relationship and they have asked nothing of me.
Also my grandmother's house, which is vacant now, is right beside my parents and has been updated and fixed up and is ready to sell. And it's right beside mom and dad's house.
So, with the whole pandemic fun, I've seriously been considering selling my home and buying my grandmother's house and moving back to TN.
I'm in a hot area of Charlotte and property values have more than doubled in the time I've lived here. My mother has told me I would need to buy my aunt out of my grandmothers house - would be a steal of a price for twice as much house as I am in now. I would also be able to bank a nice chunk from the sale of my home.
My parents have not asked me to do this, but for a few years I've been thinking about my parents getting older. They are very independent people, but I know the reality of aging. And I get such limited time in my 4 annual visits and the 7 hour drive home isn't convenient, though beautiful.
I don't know why I am dragging my feet on making this decision. I think I'm a bit afraid of losing a bit of my independence maybe or feeling too claustrophobic living so close. I've not lived at/near home since I was 17 and went off to college. I know my parents would give me my space as they want their own.
If I do it - bigger house, cheaper COL, nice bit to put in the bank, closer to parents, close to old friends.
If I stay - lots of continued quality time with me only and dogs (with pandemic), same old same, no change.
What would you do? Thoughts appreciated..want to make a decision! Thank you!
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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If approved by your new neighbors, do it!
Realizing employment options may be limited, but if you can continue to work from home... live where you will enjoy every minute, as l our time is quite limited.
This very different from something I would / could do, but sounds great for you.
Invest your reduced expenses for an early retirement, or on travel / doing stuff with and for your parents. You've had 30 yrs on your own, you likely know what's best for you. Relationships are far more valuable and lasting than striving for wealth and career.
It is not a decision we can make for you because there are other factors that only you can answer. Even though you get along with your parents well, could you stand being that close to them forever? How secure is your job? I ask because if for some reason you became unemployed, the job market in a small TN town would not begin to compare to the job market in Charlotte.
Do it. Wish I could have bought a house next door to my parents when I moved back. Even living a couple miles apart worked out wonderfully . I wanted to help them while they were still relatively young (sixties) and active. And yes, they eventually needed me to help with their various health issues. I was glad I was there.
I would think down the road and what it would be like living there after your parents pass away someday. Their house, I presume, would be sold and is that where you want to be for the long haul and would that be the future you see for yourself?
You've answered your own question at bottom of your post "if i do" plus frankly way things are going getting outa Charlotte while you can with the opportunities in TN is a no brainer....
The best years of my life (also single but older than you) were the years I lived two miles from my folks. They moved to me after I retired, rather than the other way around, but that’s not the important part. We always enjoyed each other’s company, and they were as independent as it was possible for them to be. One of them is gone now and the other had to go to assisted living but I wouldn’t give up those 3 and a half years of daily drop in visits and drives for anything.
As others have said, you can always move again if your mindset changes after your parents are gone.
You seem to have something very special that not everyone has with their parents. Don’t let it slip away while you’re thinking. Time goes fast enough as it is.
Seems like New Years was last week. Even though 2020 could use a reset button, somehow we are already halfway through the year
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