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I live in a small town of about 1800 or so. My presumption is that everyone has their own group of people they interact with. I've lived her for 17 yrs and we don't have many friends at all (articulated in other posts).
There is nothing in town (other than town meeting or select board meetings or school board meetings - which very few people attend) to bring people together. We have a FaceBook page where people post assorted notices, comments, etc. The other day someone posted an inquiry about a property in town that appears/ed to be abandoned because no one is taking care of it - grass is knee high, etc. I chimed in that a mowing would help....but other people in town (who I don't know) got a bit overly aggressive opining that people should mind their own business, that if this is all they have to worry about then they are fortunate indeed, that the owners are out of town and someone could go over and mow if they care that much about it, and, my favorite, that it is MEAN to even ask about this. I felt the need to tell "them" that those of us who live in town have a right to inquire about whatever and if others don't like it, well, they don't need to participate in the 'discussion.' I am offended and disgusted by this bullying attitude of certain folks and am not sure what to do about it (until now, I 'stand up for myself' when I feel I can say something that doesn't convey how P.O.d I actually am about their attitude). Any suggestions? I know, I should just stop posting there.....or maybe just stop reading the FB page at all.
I live in a small town of about 1800 or so. My presumption is that everyone has their own group of people they interact with. I've lived her for 17 yrs and we don't have many friends at all (articulated in other posts).
There is nothing in town (other than town meeting or select board meetings or school board meetings - which very few people attend) to bring people together. We have a FaceBook page where people post assorted notices, comments, etc. The other day someone posted an inquiry about a property in town that appears/ed to be abandoned because no one is taking care of it - grass is knee high, etc. I chimed in that a mowing would help....but other people in town (who I don't know) got a bit overly aggressive opining that people should mind their own business, that if this is all they have to worry about then they are fortunate indeed, that the owners are out of town and someone could go over and mow if they care that much about it, and, my favorite, that it is MEAN to even ask about this. I felt the need to tell "them" that those of us who live in town have a right to inquire about whatever and if others don't like it, well, they don't need to participate in the 'discussion.' I am offended and disgusted by this bullying attitude of certain folks and am not sure what to do about it (until now, I 'stand up for myself' when I feel I can say something that doesn't convey how P.O.d I actually am about their attitude). Any suggestions? I know, I should just stop posting there.....or maybe just stop reading the FB page at all.
Well ...
Your comment that "a mowing would help" could be taken as an insult in a town that small where many people are likely to know the owner of that property.
I see it all the time on a Facebook page I follow dedicated to historic homes that are for sale. The moderator tries hard to keep things civil, but some posters have NO hesitation about posting quite mean comments about the decor of the homes, how that paint color shouldn't have been chosen or about how "a little elbow grease" would make that bathroom show better.
But it's still someone's home. I guess it's easier for them to be so critical on a page with 2 million followers, but on a small forum, comments perceived as unfair criticism are less likely to be tolerated without rebuttal.
The internet is full of people who say things behind a keyboard they would never say in person.
Unless it's your property, you don't really have any say in it's upkeep.
If it's a fire hazard or if there's noxious weeds or something, then the city or county could talk to the owner, but if it just needs mowing, who cares?
I stay away from Facebook town pages because it seems the only reason for them is publicly shaming people to make them conform to an HOA type groupthink. If the owner and property aren't breaking any codes or laws, and aren't creating a danger to the town, MYOB.
Unless it's your property, you don't really have any say in it's upkeep.
If it's a fire hazard or if there's noxious weeds or something, then the city or county could talk to the owner, but if it just needs mowing, who cares?
I stay away from Facebook town pages because it seems the only reason for them is publicly shaming people to make them conform to an HOA type groupthink. If the owner and property aren't breaking any codes or laws, and aren't creating a danger to the town, MYOB.
Most communities have rules about noxious weeds. If it gets too out of control and thistles take over, they will spread like wildfire.
Having said that, it's not a bad thought to think "Gee, I could help if they need it". But often people in small towns don't LIKE the city or others telling them what to do.
Last edited by BaptistFundie; 09-02-2020 at 08:01 AM..
Reason: fixed typo
I think you're both right....although I did not initiate the dialogue. Yes, in a small town such as this, and since the property in question is not near me, I should have just kept my thoughts to myself. I do, however, drive by it all the time and had noticed the high grass.
I guess I just find it off-putting that someone would comment for people to mind their own business, when that person didn't mind their own business and came on to lecture the other folks.
Small town living!! Isn't it grand? (sarc)
Maybe a better selection of words, "If the people that live there need help, mowing their lawn, let me know. I'll be more than happy to help them out.". Sounds a little smoother.
Unless it's your property, you don't really have any say in it's upkeep.
If it's a fire hazard or if there's noxious weeds or something, then the city or county could talk to the owner, but if it just needs mowing, who cares?
I stay away from Facebook town pages because it seems the only reason for them is publicly shaming people to make them conform to an HOA type groupthink. If the owner and property aren't breaking any codes or laws, and aren't creating a danger to the town, MYOB.
That's easy to say, unless the property is next door to yours. My next door neighbors in my previous small town let their entire back property grow to 7 feet high over the course of several summers. Critters were coming over into my yard and noxious weeds were constantly sowing their seeds in my lawn. The county wouldn't do squat about it either. If there had been a Nextdoor or Facebook group you can bet I would have made some kind of remark, not that they would have cared about that either.
That's easy to say, unless the property is next door to yours. My next door neighbors in my previous small town let their entire back property grow to 7 feet high over the course of several summers. Critters were coming over into my yard and noxious weeds were constantly sowing their seeds in my lawn. The county wouldn't do squat about it either. If there had been a Nextdoor or Facebook group you can bet I would have made some kind of remark, not that they would have cared about that either.
Even 1 foot high grass is a haven for rats. I'm kind of surprised more people don't know that.
But getting back to Riley's OP...
Even in Scottsdale, which is not a small town (population about 240,000) there are people on NextDoor who are obnoxious bullies, full of self-righteousness and willing to do what it takes to get rid of folks who don't agree with them. There is no room on these neighborhood boards for polite disagreement. If you try, you'll get an earful of invective and they'll try to egg other people on to mob you. I don't read NextDoor for this reason.
Even 1 foot high grass is a haven for rats. I'm kind of surprised more people don't know that.
But getting back to Riley's OP...
Even in Scottsdale, which is not a small town (population about 240,000) there are people on NextDoor who are obnoxious bullies, full of self-righteousness and willing to do what it takes to get rid of folks who don't agree with them. There is no room on these neighborhood boards for polite disagreement. If you try, you'll get an earful of invective and they'll try to egg other people on to mob you. I don't read NextDoor for this reason.
Really? See, I've never experienced that with the Nextdoor site where I live now, which is a smaller college town. I mostly stick to comments from my own neighborhood though, and it's a very chill place. Maybe the larger community has more going on and I just don't see it; but then, I don't want to either.
I think you're both right....although I did not initiate the dialogue. Yes, in a small town such as this, and since the property in question is not near me, I should have just kept my thoughts to myself. I do, however, drive by it all the time and had noticed the high grass.
I guess I just find it off-putting that someone would comment for people to mind their own business, when that person didn't mind their own business and came on to lecture the other folks.
Small town living!! Isn't it grand? (sarc)
We have a lake front property in the country. Where the property is located in a place called Woodland Lakes, and Woodland Lakes has 3 or 4 Facebook groups. I'm a member of 2 of them. For all intents and purposes, it's a small town, with small town busy bodies and small town attitudes among many of the people there. (But not all.)
Some people just plain come off as abrasive, and as...country bumpkin as you could ever imagine. Quick with sharing their opinion, but little fact to back up the opinion. I've been TRYING lately, to just glean whatever useful information might be had from the dumb blather, and just ignoring the dumb blather. This community is small enough that there's always the chance I'll actually meet these folks in real life, and don't want to get off on the wrong foot with someone who've I've never met, other than on Facebook.
People are always going to say what they want to say. Really, it's up to us as individuals how we handle it or ignore it, or smart off or whatever. (I've done all those things, so I'm not holding myself up as some shining example.)
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